Tag: identity

Identity Lessons from Harlem

Last month, our high school ministry filled a couple charter buses and headed off to New York City for a week of serving and learning. It was a great experience, we partnered with CSM and Reach Global Crisis Response.

While we were there, I spent a day serving alongside a summer school program in Harlem and overheard a conversation unlike any I’ve ever heard. I was walking alongside two young Dominican boys. We were on our way to a local playground. I began eavesdropping when I heard this line, “What are we?” Here’s how the conversation went between two Dominican American kindergartners.

“What are we?”

“You’re Dominican American.”

“Why?”

“Because you weren’t born here. You were born in the Dominican Republic.”

“Oh.”

“What are you?”

“I’m American Dominican because I was born in American.”

I was struck by this conversation. Listening to these two little boys struggle to put words to their identity reminded me of what it’s like to watch and listen to the students we serve and lead.

  • “Who am I?”
  • “Where do I belong?”
  • “Am I valuable?”

These are the primary questions our students are trying to work out. I’m convinced that identity building is the most important task of adolescence and therefore the most important task of student ministry. Who you believe you are is paramount. It influences every decision, every relationship, and every boundary.

I believe we need to spend less time teaching our students how to live and more time telling them who they are. Based on what our team is seeing and hearing, our students don’t believe they are valuable. They don’t believe they are worth much. The values and pressures of our culture are having terrible impact on their minds and hearts.

Culture is saying: “Whoever you are is perfect!” While simultaneously saying, “You are only valuable if you look like a supermodel, compete at the highest level or score in the top 10%.” In other words, it’s all based on performance. It’s a confusing at best and emotionally crippling at worst.

Unfortunately, I think that many Christian parents and student ministries are guilty of the saying essentially the same thing: “Whoever you are is perfect!” While simultaneously saying, “You are only valuable if you follow all the rules, attend every event and generally make us feel like we are succeeding as a ministry.” It’s still based on performance.

I believe we should help our students build an identity that is rooted in what God has said and demonstrated rather than on who they are and what they are good at.

In other words, “Whoever you are is imperfect. You are valuable because you are created, unique, loved, pursued and forgiven.” In other words, your identity isn’t based on your…it’s based on Him.

My point is that we need to be careful that we don’t teach our students to build their identities on what they look like and what they are good at. When we do this we are simply painting a shiny veneer on what our culture is already saying. This isn’t what our students need.

Our students need to understand that their identity begins and ends with Jesus. This understanding is fundamentally different because it isn’t based on beauty or performance. It’s based on the unchanging truths of the Gospel.

Let’s get serious about teaching our students about their identity because what they believe about themselves influences every decision, relationship and boundary in their lives.

 

image credited to Sophie via Flickr

 

 

Make Some Art!

My kids love to make art.  They are forever coloring pictures, writings stories, and drawing on walls and floors.  Any attempt at a formal dinner on my kitchen table feel laughable because of the many marker lines covering the surface.  It’s one thing to color outside the lines but outside the paper?  Come on!

One time, I came home from work and my oldest daughter had tatted herself and her little brother from head to toe with non-washable markers.  It was a good lesson on permanence.  “When you get old, that nonsense you drew on your forehead will be droopy, discolored nonsense.   Oh, and you’ll never get a job looking like that.”

I wish I could be as fearlessly creative as my kids.  They are so proud of their scribbling and plot-less stories.  Let’s be honest, in terms of actual art, their stuff is terrible.  No one is going to buy it.  It’s not going to win any awards.  Most people would just throw it in the trash–but not me.

To me, my kids’ art is priceless.  My children made this stuff.  One way or another, an idea crept into their heads and they put it to paper.  I think it’s beautiful.  I have it pinned up in my office.  I save them to my phone.  I put them on the walls of my house.  I’ve literally framed a drawing or two.

I also make other people look at my kids’ art all the time.  Maybe some of your friends do this to you.

“Hey check out what my kid drew.”

“You already showed me 9 times.”

“Did I?  OK, I’ll show you again in an hour.”

The thing is, there is immense confidence in this artwork.  My kids feel free to make art and shamelessly show it off because they feel safe in their relationship with their mom and dad.  They don’t have to prove anything.  They never say, “I should probably tear this up because it’s terrible.”  “This portrait of me doesn’t have a torso.  I should probably postpone drawing until I learn proper proportions.”  No way!  They just plow ahead, pinning their stuff up on every available wall space, sometimes by-passing the pinning and drawing directly on the walls themselves.

So what changes?  Why aren’t adults like this? There is no way in heck you’ll find one of my drawings up on the wall of my office.  I mean, some people do this sort of thing but they are called artists.  The rest of us are convinced that we aren’t good enough.  And, this is exactly how we live our lives.  We aren’t confident enough in our abilities, talents, passions and dreams to really step out and speak or draw, or jump, or even move.  We are too afraid that who we are isn’t good enough.  What will people say?  What will they think about me?

We are paralyzed by fear.  I think we all function more like children than we realize.  We don’t feel secure, therefore we don’t live out our true identities.  I would argue that what the world needs is exactly what we don’t seem to be capable of doing.  The world needs people who fearlessly live out who they are created to be.

The truth is that if I am a follower of Jesus, I already possess all the security and love I need.  I am a son of the King.  I have nothing to prove.  There is no reason to fear.  If I already have the approval of the One who made everything, why do I care so much about what the people around me think?  He’s already proud of me.

Maybe God is like a parent who adores his child’s artwork.  Maybe he isn’t concerned about the proportions, details and stray marker trails all over the kitchen table.  Maybe He’s more concerned about fearlessly expressing the talents He’s entrusted to us.

What the world needs is for me and for you to start making some art.  What if we stepped out in confidence and began speaking, acting, loving, creating, singing, and building with fearless confidence?  What does God want to do through your life that you’re simply too afraid to start?  Maybe He’s asking you to be brave and make some art.

 

photo credited to Kate Ter Haar via Flickr

How to Convince Your Daugher That She Is Lovable

The other night I had a panic attack.  You see, my daughter told me that her best friends are in love.  They kissed on the lips at recess and danced.  SCANDAL!  If you’re wondering, my daughter is in kindergarten….well, she was.  Now she’s home-schooled.

Someday, a LONG time from now I’d like for my daughters to fall in love.  Maybe.  Wait.  Never mind.  OK, I want them to fall in love but not until they’re like 40.  OK, fine.  I want them to fall in love but it has to be with someone who is worthy of them.  Forget it.  No one ever will be.

Sigh.  Alright, alright, someday I’ll let my daughters date but these guys had better not hurt them or else I’ll track them down and dispatch them with a flurry of vicious rhetoric.

Hypothetically, if I were to let my daughter date, I’d really only have one requirement.  See, I’m not that demanding. It’s just one little thing.  He must treasure her.  He must treat her like she is the most valuable person in his life.  What would this look like practically?  I came up with a list:

  • It means he puts her first
  • It means that he would never hurt her or force her into anything
  • It means that he would never yell at her, intimidate her or hit her
  • It means that he would never abandon her
  • It means that he would see into her heart and love her beyond her body
  • It means that he would learn to understand her moods
  • It means that he would never love another women except her.
  • It means that he would take care of her as they both grow old
  • It means that he would treasure her beyond all else in life.

Here’s the problem.  I know she is worth it but she doesn’t.  In my experience, most girls don’t understand how valuable they are.  Our culture convinces girls that their worth is based on how they look and what boys think about them.  It scares me to death that my daughters will grow up comparing themselves to the girls on magazine covers.  It terrifies me that her self-image might be dependent on what some teenage boy says about her.

So, how do you convince your daughter that she is valuable?  How do you convince her that she is worth more than what she looks like?  I think it’s a constant battle. It is repeated conversations.  She needs to be told over and over again.  But, while words are crucial, it’s important to remember that kids learn far more from observing than being told.  Fathers teach their daughters what value is all about in the ways that they talk about, and look at women .  Girls, even little girls, pick up on the subtlest expressions.  Whatever is in your heart, she will pick up on it.

From what I have learned, if I want to convince my daughter that she is worth being treasured, I need to treasure her mother.  My daughter is building expectations around her parents’ relationship.  She will experience a gravitational pull toward the kind of man I am.  I need to compliment my wife and my daughters on more than their looks and clothes.  Essentially, I need to treat my wife and my daughter exactly how I want her future boyfriend to treat her.  I must treasure them.  She will come to expect and desire what she knows and has experienced.

So, dads, we have a monumental task before us.  If you want your daughter to successfully navigate the minefield that is our culture, if you want her to end up with a man who loves her like she deserves, you need to treasure your wife and your daughter.  She’s smarter than you think.  If she is in middle school, she is already more relationally perceptive than you are.  You can’t fool her.  Love the women in your life authentically.  Start now.

 

 

photo credited to Rodrigo Amorim via Flickr

 

My Body is My Value

Elisa Talmage absolutely rocked this teaching.  Among other things, she did a great job describing how ridiculous it is that we compare ourselves to models on  magazine covers.  I’ll probably make my daughters watch this video tomorrow.

Awkward: Lies About Sexuality – Body Image from LifeLine Student Ministries on Vimeo.

Why We Don’t Compare Babies

Six years ago today, my first little girl emerged into the world.  No other experience has transformed me like becoming a dad.  A seismic shift occurred in my heart at each delivery room experience.  I know there is something spiritual about parenthood because my heart exploded with love each time a slimy, blue tinted alien was handed to me.  It’s spiritual because newborns aren’t exactly cute when they first emerge into the world.  They are slimy, smell nasty, have misshapen heads, look like they just arrived from an MMA bout, and scream like you just forcibly yanked them out of 9 months of cozy darkness.  And yet, each time I laid eyes on my newborn baby I knew I would do anything to provide for and protect this child.  I instantly knew that if necessary, I would sacrifice my very life and that I would never, ever, stop loving this little helpless baby.

I believe this natural flood of love is something that God puts in us.  It’s because we are a little like him.  We are imperfect to be sure, but the love of our heavenly Father is gifted to us when we become parents.  Parents are granted a particular blessing because we get to experience a unique expression of God’s heart as we feel the immediate surge of unconditional love that accompanies laying eyes on our children for the first time.  I truly believe this is a glimpse into how God feels about me and you.

Let me explain by telling you what I didn’t do when I became a parent.  As my little one slept in the hospital nursery, you know that room where they keep all the babies in those plastic little tubs?  That special little room that offers you your last full night of sleep for 18 years.  I didn’t walk up to that glass wall separating big people from all the babies, survey all the babies and say:

  • ”Wow, compared to that baby over there, my baby isn’t cute at all.”
  • “I like the nose on that baby more than my baby’s nose.”
  • “Man, I wish I had a different baby.”

No way.  That would never happen.  You don’t compare your baby.  You simply love your baby.  You treasure that little one because he is yours.  You celebrate all the little unique things about your baby.

With ourselves and the people in our lives, we determine value and worth based on comparison.

  • “She’s better looking than me.”
  • “I’m more productive than he is.”
  • “They have a bigger house than us.”

We rank our value by looking around and comparing.  But, isn’t it interesting that we don’t do the same thing with our babies?  We simply love–purely and unconditionally.  It’s like pulling back the curtains on God’s love for me and for you .  The flood of love that overwhelms parents during the first few moments of parenthood is a glimpse into God’s heart for us.

What if God loves you and me as fiercely and purely as a new parent?  To whom does God compare you?  Does God say, “I wish Aaron were more like Jon?”  No way.  I think God would say, “If only you could see you through My eyes.”  What if instead of comparing us to other people, God celebrates our uniqueness?  We spend so much energy comparing ourselves to everyone else—wishing we were different  We’re always wishing we were more talented, more skinny, more wealthy, more beautiful, more athletic, more smart, more, more, more.  If God could get our attention, I think he would say:   “Stop comparing.  I don’t compare you.  Why should you?  I made you like this and I like you.  If only you could see you through My eyes.”

I don’t know about you, but if I could get my mind and my heart around this reality, I would live differently.

How I Know I’m a Horrible Person

I don’t know about you but I felt great when I woke up this morning.  I felt amazing.  I just felt so comfortable in my own skin–just being me.  I was on top of the world, singing loudly in the shower like I didn’t have a care in the world.

And then I got in my car to drive to work.  I pulled up to a red light and looked to my left.  There, purring like a kitten tiger was a beautiful and expensive sports car.  It was gorgeous–so sleek and shiny.  I gazed longingly at all the fancy tech gadgets and luxury through the tinted windows.  Then the light turned green and that car flashed away like an angry rocket–screaming along with an intoxicatingly powerful roar.

That’s when I noticed the vastly different sound spilling feebly from my own car.  It was more like a death rattle than anything. And then I remembered how my car is about a hundred years old and how one entire panel is rusted, how my window and air conditioning are broken and how I have a tape deck.  A tape deck.  That’s technology from the 80s.  They don’t even make tapes anymore!

And suddenly, I’m not feeling so great about myself.  I’m not so comfortable in my own skin.  I’m not on top of the world in fact I’m feeling rather under it.  I start to feel sort of worthless and disgruntled.  I pound on my decrepit steering wheel.  Why can’t I have a car like that?  Why do I always have to drive around in a piece of junk car?  My life sucks.

It’s then that I pull up to the next stop light.  I look to my left and I see this car–an absolute disaster of an automobile.  A condescending chuckle erupts out of me.  Oh my!  What a piece of junk.  WOW do I feel bad for the person who drives that car.  I would hate myself.  There is no way I would drive that car.  How embarrassing.  I wouldn’t be caught dead in that thing.

And suddenly, I feel pretty good about myself.  I’m feeling pretty comfortable in my own skin.   I’m glad I ‘m not that guy.  His life must suck.

Sound familiar?  Maybe it isn’t cars but I bet you’ve done the same thing about clothes, your house or grades.  I might not be rich but at least I don’t live there!

 

AM I OK?

What are we doing in these moments of comparison?  Why do we do this?  I think it’s because lodged deep within each of us is a voice telling us that we aren’t OK.  There is a voice, sometimes quiet and sometimes screaming that tells us that we aren’t valuable.  And so, we look around at the people around us and ask, “Am I OK?”  When I look at his car I feel terrible.  When I look at her jeans I feel great!  And why, when something bad happens to him do I secretly celebrate?  This is when I know there is something horribly wrong with me.  There is a part of me deep inside that is broken.

This voice reflects the brokenness inside of us and I believe it reflects a broken relationship between us and our creator.  A toxicity pervades our minds and relationships.

This might sound strange but I find this brokenness in all of us to be one of the most compelling arguments for Christianity.  I don’t believe that any other worldview explains as clearly why we envy, compare ourselves to other people and why we constantly battle a little voice in our heads that tells us we are terrible people.  We’re broken people in need of repair.  There’s no self-help or enlightened path that can fix this.

 

image credited to Dan Iggers via Flickr

Why I Lie

I know a family who recently adopted a little girl from an impoverished nation in Africa.  The girl has been living with her adopted family for several years and has been functioning quite well except for one area.  You see, this little girl barely survived her first few years in Africa.  She was alone living on the streets–starving.  She would wait in line for days to be served a meager ration.  Food was the one thing that was constantly on her mind.  She barely survived and was always hungry–ravenously hungry.

Thankfully she was adopted by an American family who has provided her with love and plenty of food ever since.  But, she can’t seem to shake her old habits concerning food.  Her parents have found that she eats everything.  She will take seconds and thirds and eat until she nearly bursts.  At school, she will ask to visit the restroom and instead she will slip into the communal cubby area where all the kids keep their backpacks, coats and boots.  There she systematically opens each backpack and rifles through each lunch box eating everything she can until she is caught.  Although most of her other social behaviors would go by unnoticed she will eat, steal and hoard food at every opportunity.  Why?  She is fighting to survive.  Her little mind convinces her that she must eat.  She needs to eat.  Her very life depends on it.

Her body is with a loving family who has plenty here in America but in her mind she is still a starving child living on the streets in Africa.  Her mind hasn’t caught up with her present reality.  She isn’t alone anymore.  She is deeply loved and cared for.  This is her new reality.  Her mind just hasn’t embraced it yet.

 

CATCHING UP WITH REALITY

I do this same exact thing and my suspicion is that you do too.  So much of what I do is designed to win your approval–to convince you that I am valuable. The jokes I make, the stories I tell and the clothes I wear are chosen to impress because I have a fierce need to be accepted and valued…and so do you.

My problem is that I haven’t embraced my present reality.  Like the hungry little girl, I was an orphan and so were you..  Not in an physical sense but spiritually.  You see, we are designed to find our belonging and value in a close relationship with our Creator and Father.  When this relationship is estranged it is impossible for us to function as whole people.  The brokenness within us will drive us to behaviors that don’t make sense–like eating everything in sight or in my case being funny, buying a pair of jeans I can’t afford or stretching the truth in a story to make myself look a little more impressive to you.  I do this because I don’t feel like I belong.  I don’t feel like I am loved.

ADOPTED

I love that the Apostle Paul described our new relationship with God through Jesus as adoption.

But when the right time came, God sent his Son, born of a woman, subject to the law.  God sent him to buy freedom for us who were slaves to the law, so that he could adopt us as his very own children.  And because we are his children, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, prompting us to call out, “Abba, Father.”  Now you are no longer a slave but God’s own child.  And since you are his child, God has made you his heir. (Galatians 4:4-6)

I can’t help but think that God looks at our behavior the same way that we look at the starving little girl–with pity and sadness.  Don’t you realize that you don’t have to act that way anymore?  You don’t have to lie.  You don’t have to sleep with him.  You don’t have to run to that addiction.  Don’t you know that you are loved?  Don’t you know that you are mine?  Who cares what everyone else thinks?  I love you.

I have a new reality.  I am accepted and loved.  I’ve been granted the privilege to call the Creator God, “Dad.”  No offense but I’m going to stop caring about what you think of me.  I don’t need to be funny, stretch the truth or dress a certain way to gain your approval because I don’t need it.  I have the approval of my Father.  I choose to believe my present reality and I invite you to do the same.

 

image credited to Even Earwicker via http://www.sxc.hu/

Back to School | Dating

Halfway through 6th grade my life changed in a 30 second conversation.  In all the years leading up to this conversation I was a boy focused on WWF wrestling and comic books.  For many years after, I have been struggling to figure out this complex, beautiful, thrilling thing called love.

I was sitting at my desk as class let out, probably contemplating how many pop cans I needed to return to the local D&W store in order to pay for the latest issue of The Uncanny X-Men when a girl I barely knew walked over to me and spit out,

“Hey, that girl over there thinks you’re cute.”

[11 year old Aaron stares at her blankly]

“She wants to go with you.”

“Go with me?  Where?”

“She likes you, you moron.”

“What does she like?”

“SHE WANTS TO BE YOUR GIRLFRIEND!  Now go over there and ask her to go with you!”

A little cultural clarification if you are younger than 30.  “Going with someone” meant that you were dating them.  I have no idea who thought up that phrase and yes, it’s dumb.

Anyway, I asked that girl out.  She said yes and then we periodically held hands, skated the couples skate at the school skating party, never talked once and then broke up a few weeks later.  Dating in 6th grade in the 1980s.  So beautiful.

BACK TO SCHOOL

I tell you this story because I’m blogging this week about going back to school and today I’m writing about dating and why we date.  After my first “girlfriend” experience, as lame as it was, I really never stopped dating until a close friend in college who had a long ponytail and a broadsword challenged me to give up dating for a year in order to figure myself out and stop hurting people.  Since I tend to listen to people wielding broadswords, I agreed.  It was one of the best decisions I ever made.

You see, somewhere in middle school I became addicted to dating.  I liked the way it made me feel.  I began to crave the feelings that came with it.  I needed that hot flood of supercharged emotion that smacks you in the gut when you discover that someone has a crush on you.  It made me feel alive and worth something.  Middle school was a rough time for me because I didn’t feel like I was worth anything—not remotely.

And so I dated Jill and Jennifer, Missy, Jamie, another Jennifer, Sarah, another Jennifer after that and basically any girl who said that she liked me.  I did all of this because it made me feel special.  And while my “going with” different girls didn’t really do any damage to me or them in middle school (because I never actually talked to them), it did set a pattern of behavior that did hurt me and others very badly in high school and after.

VALUE AND WORTH

I hurt myself and others because of why I dated.  I did it because it made me feel valuable.  Only later did I piece together that dating people in order to make yourself feel better is dangerous.  In fact, doing just about anything to make yourself feel valuable is dangerous.  I was heavily influenced by what people said and thought and I didn’t treat girls with respect because they were merely a vehicle toward my own happiness.

Later in life, I discovered how much God loves me.  I learned about the value I have as His creation.  I learned that He loved me enough to die in my place.

Essentially, I uncovered that I’ll never be more loved than I am in this moment.  No one could bring more love into my life than I already possess through my Creator and Savior.  Once I discovered this and began to live out of this identity, my life and specifically, dating changed dramatically.  Dating stopped being about feeling valuable and more about learning another person.

NO ONE CAN LOVE YOU MORE  

As you begin this year, I would plead with you to examine why it is that you date or want to date.  As harmless as it seems, dating because you don’t feel valuable or loved is a dangerous game.  Rest in the truth that you’ll never be more loved than you already are in this moment, right here and right now.  No one, no matter how sweet, beautiful, rugged, handsome, sexy, or nice can bring more love into your life than you already possess in Jesus.

When you understand how loved and valuable you are, dating is much safer on your heart and the people around you.

 

 

photo credited to michaelnpatterson

Back to School | Past and Future

I love listening to John Mayer.  In my opinion, he is the best songwriter of this generation.  On my favorite Mayer album is a song called “I Don’t Trust Myself.”  The basic message of the song is that he doesn’t trust himself with loving the girl he loves because of the relational dysfunction of his past.  In his words, “If the past is any sign of your future, you should be warned before I let you inside.”  Wait, now I need to go listen to the song…

OK, I’m back.  This week my blog is devoted to going back to school.  Yesterday, I wrote about identity and labels and how important it is for us to live out of our true identity instead of the labels people give us.

THE PAST           

Today, I want to talk about the past and the future.  For many of us, the past is haunting.  If you’ve lived for any length of time, you probably have massive regrets.  All of us have skeletons in the closet, whether things done to us or that we’ve done ourselves that we hope to God will never come out into the light.

Not only are most of us embarrassed by the past, but we’re also deeply shaped by it.  I firmly believe that life is a path.  Where you are today is directly affected by where you were yesterday.  You are walking in a direction.  The decisions you have made are taking you somewhere—to a future you may or may not like.  If I sound like a genius right now, I’m not.  I stole the entire concept from Andy Stanley.

BOUND

The mistake that most of us make is that we falsely believe that the past binds us.  We believe that because he did that to me, we aren’t valuable.  Because she said that about me it must be true for all of time.  Because I made that mistake it doesn’t make any difference if I make it again.

We believe that the past defines us.  And while it is true that the past influences us, we must understand that we have a choice in the matter.  The past doesn’t define your future.  All of life is a path.  Your decisions yesterday and today do influence where you are going but you always have a choice.  You can always choose to turn to the left or turn around completely.

A NEW YEAR

As you begin the school year, I want to draw your attention to a simple and yet revolutionary verse found in the New Testament:

“…anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person.  The old life is gone; a new life has begun!” (2 Corinthians 5:17)

Maybe last year was the worst year of your life.  Maybe last week was terrible.  Maybe yesterday was a day to forget.  Today is new.  Mornings are a reboot.  A new school year is a chance to relaunch.  In Christ, you are a new person.  Whatever defined your past does not define your future.  In Jesus, you are a child of God and your future is full of incredible potential.

Your mistakes do not define you.  The sins done against you do not define you.  This new school year is an opportunity to pursue a new path.  May you choose to redefine your future based on who you are in Christ.

 

 

Back to School | Identity

My middle and high school experiences were simultaneously awesome and horrible.  Some of my best memories and worst nightmares happened between grades 6-12.  This week I’m offering up some advice on how to thrive, or if that’s a little too strong, survive school this year.

WHO AM I?

The most important question a person can answer is simply this, “Who am I?”  Every person wrestles with this question and must constantly define and redefine the answer.  What makes you, you?  What gives you value and worth?  Are you the smart one?  The athletic one?  The beautiful one?  The depressed one?  The gamer one?  The angry one?  The quiet one?  The funny one?  What is it that makes you special and unique?

Most of us also struggle because we’ve been labeled.  Once the people around you label you, it’s hard to break out.  Whether it’s true or not, people begin to think of you as your label.  At different times in my life, I’ve been labeled as “angry guy,” “spiritual guy,” “dates too much guy” and “funny guy.”  I found each of these labels constricting and binding.  At times, I didn’t know how to break out and get back to being “just me guy.”  Sometimes labels even take on prophetic properties and define our futures.

LABELS

Recently, my friend Jon VerLee gave an amazing talk about labels at our summer camp.  One of the things he said really grabbed my attention.  He said that in the business world, the only people who are allowed to label a product are the people who made the product.  If I create a computer, you have no right to give it a name and a logo.  That’s my right and privilege because I made it.  Only the maker has the right to label.

Maybe it’s the same way with people.  I believe that God created me.  He formed me and gave me my personality and talents.  He gave me my lanky, semi-athletic body, my brown eyes and goofy laugh.  My sense of humor, propensity to dream big and tendency to talk before listening were His ideas.

According to what I read in the Bible, God is happy with how He made me and I’m exactly how He wanted me to be.  He has labeled me as His.  I belong to Him.  I am His adopted Son and treasured possession.  He has the right to label me because He made me.

And here’s the thing, you don’t have the right to label me because you didn’t make me.  And, I don’t have the right to label you because I didn’t make you.  We are equal as creatures and shouldn’t label each other.

BAD IDENTITY

Most of the big mistakes in my life have been made because I forgot who I am.  The times when I got off-track and said and did things that I deeply regret were times that I forgot who I am in Jesus.  I was listening to and living out the labels that other people gave me.  I was living out of the wrong identity.

My advice to you, as you go off to school is this:  don’t forget who you are.  You aren’t who people say you are and you aren’t what you are good or bad at.  Being beautiful, average, smart, dumb, athletic, slow, big, small, funny, boring doesn’t make you who you are.  No one has the right to label you except your creator and He has already said that you are loved.  He made you exactly how He intended and He’s very proud of His creation.  Live out of this identity and experience life the way it was meant to be lived.