Parent Resource Video: Combating Pornography

If there’s one thing I want my kids to avoid it’s pornography.  I pray about this constantly and, if you are a parent, I bet you do too.  Here’s a resource video we put together on combating pornography.

Lifeline Parents | Combating Pornography from Lifeline Student Ministries on Vimeo.

Where I Get Inspired

I have a confession.  I’m not much of an original thinker.  Gasp!  I know.  Recently, our church leadership team took part in a 3 day strategic off-site.  One of exercises we went through was something called the Thinking Wavelength.  This revealed that I’m not an “theorist.”  I don’t invent ideas.  Rather, I’m a “finder”, which means I’m good at discovering brilliant ideas and well…stealing them.  If the Thinking Wavelength sounds interesting, check out this link.

So, why am I telling you this?  Good question!  I think a lot of ministry leaders are “finders.”  We know a good idea when we run into it.  We easily understand what will work in our context and what won’t.  But, we probably aren’t going to invent the ideas ourselves.  This means we need places where we can find the great ideas.  We need environments where we can collaborate and explore new ideas and fresh perspectives.  For me, the best place to do this has been the Orange Conference.

Every year that I attend the Orange Conference, I come away with a fresh ideas.  Honestly, this conference, and the organization behind it, reThink, have probably influenced me as a ministry leader more than anything else.  If you haven’t been to the Orange Conference, this is the year!  You should totally check it out!  Registration begins this week and the price is greatly reduced.  If you’re still not convinced, check out this video:

OC16 Promo video for OC17 site from Orange on Vimeo.

If you want to hear more about the Orange Conference, send me an email or leave a comment.   I’d love to tell you all about it.  And, if you want to give it a shot, I’ll be there!  We should totally hang out!.

How to Move People Who Don’t Want to Move

I love Bill Hybel’s definition of leadership:

“Moving people from here to there.”

It really is that simple isn’t it? Here’s where we are. There is where God is calling us to move. Let’s go!

If it’s that simple, why is it so hard?!? Leadership is challenging when people don’t want to move. One of the greatest frustrations of leadership is motivating people to move when they resist.

We’ve all been there. You’re incredibly excited about a vision that God has given you for your ministry or church and when you share that vision, the people who follow you resist. COME ON!

So, how do you move people who don’t want to move? This is the stuff of real leadership. I have a few ideas that might help.

TRUST

If I don’t trust you then I will never trust your ideas. This is so true isn’t it? You can’t expect to move people from here to there unless they trust you as a leader. This means that your first step in creating change is building relationships.

I’ve never forgotten the advice one of my college professors gave me:

“Don’t make any major changes to the ministry you lead during the first year of your leadership.”

In other words, you have to earn the trust of the people you lead before you try to take them from here to there.

If you are contemplating asking your people to move, then you must first build trust. If they trust you, they are likely to embrace your ideas.

THERE IS BETTER

Change hurts. Even if you’re like me and you thrive on the energy of progress and movement, change is painful. It means something has to be left behind. It means a program has to die. It means embracing the unknown. Change hurts.

As the leader, you instinctively believe that there is better than here. But, here’s the thing: your people probably don’t. They are comfortable. And, until they believe that there is better than here, they will resist your attempts to move them because change hurts.

One of your most important tasks as a leader is to paint a compelling picture of why “there” is worth it. Don’t take it for granted that they get it. Take the time to paint the picture. Spend time with your key stakeholders and convince them that staying here will actually be worse than the pain of moving there.

LEADERSHIP LANGUAGES

You’ve probably heard of the concept of love languages. Years ago, Gary Chapman wrote a book describing the relational love languages every one of us has. He was, and is, spot on

I happen to believe that there’s such a thing as leadership languages. I think this concept is helpful when the person you are trying to motivate and move has authority over you, for example, your boss, your board members, or your church elders. What I’m trying to say is that each person has a unique leadership language and if you want to motivate that person, you’d do well to speak their language. Here are a few examples:

1. The Language of Data

My boss speaks the leadership language of data. He is motivated by cold, hard facts.

 

If I want to convince him of the merits of an idea, I know that I better come with actual data, not feelings or beliefs.
Here’s as a successful proposal for someone who speaks the language of data:

I believe we need to move our student ministry from Wednesday night to Sunday night and here’s why: After surveying parents, 30% of our students don’t attend regularly because of scheduling conflicts on Wednesday night. If we moved to Sundays, this 30% would likely start attending regularly.

Here’s an unsuccessful proposal with someone who speaks the language of data:

I’ve been doing a lot of praying and I think we need to move the student ministry to Wednesday nights.

Nope. If you want to motivate a person who speaks data, then you need to pray about it AND compile accurate information that supports your idea.

 

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