Tag: student ministry

Volunteer Pep Talk | Growth

It’s Wednesday night and you’re attempting to lead your small group.  As you look around, two small groups are deep in prayer and one is passing out tissues because Sally is pouring her heart out.  You’re startled back to reality by a flash across your field of vision as Billy catapults himself off the top of a nearby couch and drops a well placed elbow into Johnny’s lower back.  Yes, this is your small group.  While the groups around you are engaging in community and discipleship, your group is engaged in a WWE cage match…again, just like they do every week.  And you ask yourself, “Why am I even here?”

This week, I’m blogging about and for student ministry volunteers.  Here’s yesterday’s post, if you’re interested.

Sometimes, actually many times, it doesn’t feel like we are getting anywhere with students.  In these moments it’s important to remember what we’re called to do and what we’re not called to do.  In these moments, a little gardening tip can keep us sane.

SEEDS AND WATERING CANS

As we think about leading students this year, there is a principle found in 1 Corinthians that has kept me sane in many difficult moments in student ministry.  Check it out:

“I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God has been making it grow.  So neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow.  The one who plants and the one who waters have one purpose, and they will each be rewarded according to their own labor.  For we are co-workers in God’s service; you are God’s field, God’s building.”                              (1 Corinthians 3:6-8)

Paul is describing the growth of the Christians in Corinth.  He was the one who planted the seeds.  He preached the Gospel to the people in Corinth.  For most, he was the person who introduced them to Jesus.  Then, Apollos came and taught them more about what it looks like to follow Jesus.  They grew and became more established under Apollos’ teaching.  And yet, Paul acknowledges that while they both had critical roles, God is the one who made the people grow.  Paul and Apollos were simply being faithful to their calling.

OUR ROLE AND GOD’S ROLE

As much as we try in student ministry, we cannot cause growth.  Only God can do that.  We can only be faithful with the roles that God has given us.  I love this. There is freedom and clarity here.  I can build relationships.  I can pursue students.  I can speak truth and I can love students well.  But, I cannot produce the results.  I cannot make a student grow.  That’s God’s role.

So this year, be a great small group leader.  Mentor your students.  Love them well and show them how to follow Jesus.  As you do these things, remember that it’s God’s role to make them grow.  Plant seeds like crazy and go nuts with the watering can.  Do your very best to love students and draw them into what Jesus is doing in and around us.  But, at the end of the day, breath a sigh of relief because, ultimately, it’s God’s role to make students grow.  All you can do is be faithful.

The Cost of Leadership

My boss, Brian, has a saying that goes like this:  “Leadership is a series of losses.”  Like usual, the first time I heard him say it, I had no idea what he was talking about.   But over time, I’ve come to see that he’s got a genius streak.  Let me explain.

A few months I ago I received a promotion.  I was given more oversight, more responsibility and new roles.  Of course, getting promoted is a good thing and feels very nice.  I also love the idea of providing vision and oversight to the ministry.  However, I’ve learned that promotions aren’t all smiles and sunshine.  In fact, I’ve been mourning this transition for a few weeks now.

You see, I’ve spent the last five years building things.  Some of these things I’m very proud of.  About 50 adult volunteers make our high school ministry what it is.  It’s been my privilege and responsibility to recruit, train and walk with these volunteers.  I was the one who interviewed them, chose their small group and helped them find their way in the early days of volunteering.

I care deeply about each one of them.  We’ve walked through some heavy stuff—student and family crisis, personal loss, feelings of inadequacy, and relational conflict.  I also feel a strong sense of pride in knowing that I’ve had a role in equipping them.  But, it’s no longer my role to equip them.  I am losing this role.  It’s time to hand it over to someone else.

Over the last 3 years, I’ve built a high school to college transition program that I love.  At the risk of sounding like a regular jackwagon, I’m incredibly proud of this ministry.  I love it because it’s unique and effective.  My greatest joy in ministry over the last 3 years has been watching graduates of our ministry thrive in college and adulthood.  Knowing I’ve had even a small role in their growth is very rewarding.  But, with my new position, I won’t be able to lead this program any longer.  I am losing this role.  It’s time to hand it over to someone else.

For the last 12 years, I have been leading worship in student ministries on a regular basis.  I absolutely love playing music and drawing students into the presence of God.  I can’t imagine not leading worship.  And yet, it’s no longer my job to lead.  I’m losing this role.  It’s time to hand it over to someone else.

Please understand that I’m very happy about my promotion and I’m excited and honored to lead our high school ministry.  I feel this is exactly where God wants me and I know that it’s right but I have to be honest about the cost of leadership.  It’s terribly painful to build something and then hand it over to someone else and trust them to do the work.  Leadership costs something.

Moving up in an organization always leads to greater leverage and lesser contact.  5 years ago I left behind the role of everyday contact with high school students.  It was a painful but ultimately good transition.  And now, as the leader of our high school ministry, I have been gifted with the leverage to direct the entire ministry and yet, I know I will have less contact with our students and volunteers and less contact with some of the roles and programs I have loved over the last few years.

In this way, leadership is a series of losses.  I must let go of what I love and learn to empower others to take what I have built and transform it into something that is uniquely theirs.  Have any of you had this experience?

 

Burnout in 3 Easy Mistakes

Fresh out of college, I scored a killer job as a high school youth pastor at a church of 1,500.  I went hard.  I built an impressive senior high ministry.  Nearly everyone in the church was happy with my work.  And yet, five years later I was completely done.  Toast.  Burnt out.  How did I do it?  It really only took three mistakes…

THE ME SHOW

My church hired me to do ministry, so that’s what I did.  I led worship, taught twice a week, counseled students, organized and led trips, events, and retreats and even kept the budget.  Along the way, I discovered that I’m pretty good at most of these skills.  Partly because it was the expectation of the church and partly because I’m a control freak, I continued to personally do everything for years.

I’m convinced that my biggest mistake was not empowering others to do the work of ministry.  I was terrible at developing and equipping volunteers.  My unwillingness to empower others for meaningful roles directly led to my burnout.

KEEPING BUSY

I came into ministry thinking that a full schedule of programs, events and trips was a sign of a healthy ministry.  I now believe the opposite.  My first student ministry consisted of three weekly programs, events twice a month, 2 retreats and 3 mission trips per year.  Maybe this would have been OK if I had delegated the leadership of a few of these elements to someone else…but I didn’t.  I planned, organized and led all of these things myself for 5 years.

Looking back I can’t believe I survived as long as I did.  I also can’t believe that someone didn’t pull me aside and say, “Slow down buckaroo!”  Either way, I kept an insane schedule for 5 years and then crashed.  I’ve learned that sustainability is a key concept for longevity.

KEEP IT INSIDE

I am convinced that many youth pastors burnout and become bitter because they mishandle conflict.

There have been times in my career in which I encountered conflict—not a shocker.  But here was my problem:    Instead of going directly to the people that I had issues with, I took my frustrations to my “bitter bubble”.  You know what I’m talking about—that safe place where you back up the dump truck of resentment and let it fly.

I felt like I was protecting work relationships and doing my church a favor by not introducing conflict but truthfully I was doing them and myself a huge disservice.

Conflict, when handled with maturity is always good.  It sharpens vision and actually builds trust and confidence.  Confrontation, handled well, is a gift that provides us with the opportunity to evaluate and grow.

Because I was afraid to handle conflict with confidence and maturity I became bitter—this is what happens in the bitter bubble.  Over time, this led to insurmountable misunderstanding and resentment that never should have existed in the first place.

IN IT FOR THE LONG HAUL

So, if you want to stay in ministry for a good long while, I have 3 tips:

  1. Empower and delegate
  2. Stick to a sustainable schedule
  3. Be honest with your frustrations—do not participate in a bitter bubble!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dynamite and Sledgehammers

img_drilling-1957-with-new-rig

I come from a long line of water well drillers.  My family even has a picture of my Great-Great Grandfather drilling a well with a horse.  Now that’s old school.  I worked in the industry off and on for over 10 years and enjoyed most of it.  I’ll be honest; working outside during the winter in Michigan was not my favorite.  Also, I’m kind of a sissy because I was developing tendonitis of basically every joint possible.  In 2003 I transitioned out of water well drilling and into student ministry.  I know that I’m exactly where God wants me as a student pastor but there are some things I love and miss about drilling.  The biggest thing I miss is just that…”things”.  There is a huge difference between working with people and working with things.  Let me explain.

When you’re repairing an old well it is perfectly acceptable and often necessary to beat the heck out of it with a sledge hammer.  This is especially helpful when the repair is not going well and you need to let off some angst.  With my children, we call this throwing a tantrum. Let me just say that I throw an excellent sledge hammer tantrum. I’m guessing it would be frowned upon to unleash the sledge in the church office.  When you get upset in the church office you have to do something constructive like take a walk.  Lame.

Secondly, dynamite. Yes, I’m being serious. Back in the day, water well drillers would regularly obliterate underground obstacles with dynamite.  I cannot adequately put into words the euphoria a person experiences when touching off a half-stick of dynamite. I’m still trying to figure out a way to incorporate dynamite in student ministry…

As much as I fondly remember working with things rather than people, I’ve chosen a different path.  I’m a student pastor and not a well driller.  I don’t work with things. I work with people.   Although I often miss wanton destruction I have to admit that for me, only student ministry stirs my soul.  God has wired me in such a way that only people can bring me to tears–both out of sadness and joy. Only student ministry and more specifically, students and volunteers bring out the passion that God built into me.

I’ll always be grateful to the people who pointed me toward my life’s passion.  I’ll always be thankful that God guided me to the mission He designed me for.  Sometimes people drive me crazy but I know I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.

I know there are days when you want to throw in the towel.  Sometimes people can break your heart or betray your trust.  Maybe that happened today.  In these moments, remember what it is that stirs your soul.  The fact that you as upset as you are betrays how much you care.  You’re right where you’re supposed to be.

5 Things Your Volunteers Are Asking

I don’t care how gifted, relational or vision minded you are as a youth pastor, you can only effectively shepherd 5 or 6 students.  If your ministry is bigger than six, volunteers are a necessity.  The more effectively your volunteers serve, the more effective your ministry will be.  As we approach the fall season, there are 5 things our volunteers will be asking.  Answer these questions well and your volunteers will have a fantastic experience.

HOW DO I DO THIS?

Most people want to do good work.  Volunteers wouldn’t be volunteering unless they cared deeply about the ministry.  The trouble is that we don’t often provide volunteers with the tools to do ministry effectively.  Providing your volunteers with constant training is important.  In our ministry, we start every large group program with 30 minutes of volunteer training.

Secondly, provide your volunteers with clear expectations.  In the absence of clarity, people come up with their own expectations.  You won’t always be happy with what they come up with.  Make it clear and equip them for the work and then sit back and watch the magic.

HOW AM I DOING?

A lack of feedback drives people mad.  “Does she like me?”   “Did I pass the test?”  “Is my spinach casserole tasty?”  It’s no different with volunteering.  People want to know if they are doing a good job or not.  And, in the absence of feedback a new volunteer will almost always feel like they are bombing.  It’s important that ministry leaders see and praise good work.  On the flip side, if a volunteer isn’t doing a good job, gently tell him.  Most of the time, the issue is a lack of clarity on expectations.

DO I MATTER?

We all have a revolutionary streak.  We all want to belong to something big and meaningful.  Thankfully, kingdom work is incredibly compelling.  Share stories of why your volunteers matter.  Highlight the wins.  Paint a picture of what a caring adult can do in the life of a lonely teenager.  Stories are fuel for volunteers.  And, volunteers who deeply believe in the mission of the ministry and the importance of their role in it will likely stick around for years.

HOW DO I HANDLE THIS?

Crisis situations can be terrifying for a volunteer (and staff!).  “She is cutting.  What do I do?”  “He’s addicted to porn and his parents don’t know.”  “She says that her dad hits her.”

The best thing you can do for a volunteer is help her understand the process of how your ministry handles these situations.  And, it needs to be in advance.  Make this process very clear.  Help your volunteers understand what they are legally responsible for in terms of mandatory reporting.  The more you communicate these things in advance the more at ease your volunteers will feel.

Secondly, make sure they understand that they are not alone.  Staff should take lead on crisis situations as soon as possible.  Don’t leave difficult conversations with parents and calls to CPS to your volunteers.

ARE YOU LISTENING?

Every person had a deep inner need to feel significant.  There is one simple test to determine if someone values you as a person—do they listen to you?

Your volunteers will naturally develop opinions about the ministry and their experiences.  If they don’t they aren’t truly engaged in the ministry.  The way in which you listen to them will tell them very clearly whether or not you value them.  Volunteers who don’t feel valued will not stick around for long.  However, volunteers who feel significant will likely plug in for years.

Listen to your volunteers.  Provide simple ways for them to provide feedback.  Survey Monkey is one of our favorites.  Also, regular talks over coffee are a key ingredient to our care strategy.

Volunteers are crucial to student ministry.  Great ministries have great volunteers and a lot of them.  Equipping and keeping great volunteers isn’t rocket science but it does take intentionality and hard work.  These are the 5 questions I believe volunteers are asking.  Feel free to add a sixth if you think I’m missing one.

Best Posts of the Week

In my wanderings around the blogosphere this week I found some great stuff.  Two posts in particular captured my attention:

This post on Donald Miller’s Storyline blog made me laugh real hard.  How Do You Get Rejected by eHarmony?

Stephen Ingram is a student ministry pro who writes on a blog called Organic Student Ministry.  This post killed me: 10 Antiquated Words in Student Ministry 

As for my own blog, A Tribute to Christina was the most read post of the week.  Check it out.

 

 

photo credited to east_lothian museums

Influencing Boys Toward Greatness | Leadership

I can’t remember the last male character on TV who was a leader.  OK, take out every super hero/Jack Bauer type character.  If a man isn’t single handedly saving the world he is a sally—see every sitcom husband ever.

Let me make a clarification.  By leadership I do not mean dominance.  There are plenty of guys out there who know how to get what they want through dominance and abuse.  The leadership I’m talking about is others first.  It’s the kind of leadership that draws out the best in others.  It empowers others to become who God made them to be and rallies people around the mission of Christ in the world.

When I think of my sons, this is what I want.  I want my boys to grow into men who inspire, empower and lead the way.  So, how do you get there?  How do you teach a boy to become a leader modeled after Jesus?

LEADERSHIP IS CAUGHT NOT TAUGHT

Nearly everything in our culture teaches boys to be selfish.  “It’s all about you.”  “Have it your way.”  “Wear this and women will want you.”

If we want our boys to become others focused leaders, we have to understand that we’re going against the flow of culture.  They won’t become the leaders we want them to be without first seeing it.  Specifically, they need to see us doing it.  The boys in your youth ministry and in your family will lead exactly how they see you leading.  Be the leader you want your boys to be.

One of the best ways to do model others first leadership is through volunteering.  Volunteer together with your son.  Encourage the boys in your youth group to serve in the children’s ministry.  Take your family on mission trips.  Serve together and they will catch others first leadership.

TEACH HIM TO LEAD IN RELATIONSHIPS

To be frank, many guys in our culture approach relationships asking a simple question:  “What can I get out of this?”  For the record, that’s called exploitation.  Great men don’t exploit women.  They empower and liberate.

At the risk of offending everyone in the universe, I believe that great men lead in relationships.  Before you start writing that hate comment just hear me out.  I think men ought to protect women by taking the lead on physical boundaries.  Unfortunately, many guys are out to get what they can in relationships and many girls are lonely enough that they will trade purity for perceived intimacy.

The world needs men who are more interested in protecting women and bringing the best out in them than getting what they can.   My dream is that my daughters would date guys who are man enough to be upfront about their physical and emotional boundaries and that they would lead the way in maintaining these boundaries.

We need to train the boys in our families and youth ministries to respect women by leading them.  Their role is to protect women, not take advantage of them.  Help boys clearly define their physical boundaries and then help them learn how to communicate and maintain these boundaries with girls.

Also, help them understand how powerfully their words can impact a woman.  Teach him to be careful with his words.  Again, the goal is to protect and empower women—no to get what you can from them.  That’s exploitation.

Great men lead.  They don’t dominant or exploit.  They put others first and empower the people around them.  To influence boys toward greatness, we must learn to lead in the same way.

 

 

Youth Ministry Videos 101

A few years ago we came to terms with a painful truth.  Students don’t listen to us when we talk to them from the stage.    Don’t get me wrong, I’m pretty sure they nominally pay attention to the teachings but they never listen to announcements.  Every time we take the stage and invite students to sign up for a retreat or to tell them about an event that will drastically change their lives they stare at us blankly and remember nothing.  Meanwhile, the energy in the room plummets.  By the time we start our worship set the girls are texting and the guys are asleep.

One thing we noticed about our culture is that people always pay attention to screens.  Call it being addicted to technology or visually stimulated or whatever you want but a compelling image or a well done commercial captures us.  If you don’t know what I’m talking about schedule your next team meeting at Buffalo Wild Wings and see how much you accomplish.

So, based on our observations about the power of screens we started shooting video announcements.  In the beginning it was just me sitting in a chair talking and it has evolved into rap videos and other ridiculousness.  I know we aren’t breaking new ground here and plenty of other ministries use video announcements but ours are way better than theirs.

OK, not really but we have been amazed at how video announcements have contributed to our student ministry community and culture.  Adding some ridiculous characters and YouTube spoofs has amped up the fun level.

If you’re interested in getting in the video announcement game, here are a few suggestions.

1.       Invest in Good Gear

Filming can be as inexpensive and simple as pulling out your iPhone and hitting record but we all know that isn’t going to yield a visually pleasing end product (not to mention the audio). Here’s the thing. Your students and volunteers all watch TV in HD and probably movies on Blu-Ray. A good set of gear and trained people will help get you comparable quality.  People appreciate well made videos.

In the film world, you get what you pay for. A video shot on a two thousand dollar camera and a fifteen hundred dollar lens will look better than a seven hundred dollar camera on a standard kit lens. And the same goes for audio and microphones. It can be daunting at first with all the choices, but that’s where people with experience come in. Chat it up with someone you know who does film, tell them what you plan to do and ask what lens will be best for you, what tri-pod they’d recommend, which lens best fits your needs, etc.

2.       Find and Film Expressive People

There is a reason that not everyone is an actor.  This doesn’t mean that your videos require professional actors but it does mean you need expressive people.  Maybe this is you, maybe it isn’t.  This could also be a great opportunity to pull in students and volunteers.  Trust me when I say that the wrong people on video are worse than the wrong people on stage.

3.       Act like a Clown

Sometimes the announcement needs to come from you—even if you’re not expressive.  We’ve discovered that acting normally while filming will make you appear like you just woke up from a nap.  You have to amp up your energy.  Focus on making your face more expressive.  Talk with your hands and act like you’re overly excited.  I know this sounds ridiculous but trust me.

4.       Keep it Short

Our biggest mistake in creating announcement videos has been length.  Anything over 5 minutes is WAY too long.  We aim for 4 minutes or shorter if there is some sort of storyline or 2 or 3 minutes if it is a simple announcement.  Never overestimate the attention span of your students.  Squirrel!

5.       Delegate the Filming and Editing

If you’re like me, editing software might as well be in Chinese.  I’m helpless.  No problem.  There are a bazillion people out there who love to film, edit and produce videos.  They’ll probably also complete projects 40x faster than you could.  Take advantage of people who want to serve.

6.       Grant Creative Freedom

Over the last 4 years, video characters and ongoing storylines have dramatically increased the fun in our student ministry.  Especially in middle school, a few reoccurring characters can be brilliant.  My advice, find some funny people and turn them loose to create ideas and videos.  If you have someone who can do voices, plug them in!  You can score costumes for basically nothing by spending an afternoon perusing local thrift shops.   Amp up the fun in your student ministry by getting ridiculous with announcement videos.

7.        Steal Ideas

We’re all on the same team right?  Our early video ideas were all stolen—usually from Saddleback.  Sorry!  Sometimes we still steal great ideas because, well they are great ideas.  Here’s our Vimeo page.  Feel free to steal our ideas or at least laugh at how bad our early videos were.

photo credited to SPDP

Lessons on Porn from the British

 

Apparently the leaders of the British government have had enough of pornography.  David Cameron, the Prime Minister of gave a speech recently in which he announced that pornography is “corroding childhood.”  He announced that “family-friendly filters would be automatically selected for all new [Internet] customers by the end of the year – although they could choose to switch them off.   And millions of existing computer users would be contacted by their internet providers and told they must decide whether to use or not use ‘family-friendly filters’ to restrict adult material.”

If you’d like to read an article that describes this in detail, click here.

What I appreciate about Cameron’s speech is not that his measures will stop people from viewing pornography because people who want to watch porn will find a way.  What I appreciate is that he is willing to call pornography wrong.  He took a stand to protect the children of his nation.

Secondly, I do believe that Cameron’s initiatives could push back how early children see pornography.  Based on the testimonies of students and volunteers that I’ve interacted with, most people’s first contact with pornography happens unintentionally and almost always through the Internet.

With that said, we as parents and youth workers need to come to terms with the fact that kids will see pornography.  The latest statistics that I’ve seen reveal that 98% of boys have seen pornography by age 18.  More and more kids are introduced to pornography while in elementary school.  So what do we do?  How to do help our children navigate this?  Here are a few thoughts:

CHANGE YOUR EXPECTATIONS

First, we need to come to terms with the fact that our children will see pornography.  The age where we could keep them from the destructive influence of porn is gone.  Now, we must learn to help them navigate a culture in which sex is pervasive.

This doesn’t mean that we simply surrender.  In fact, it means that we must be even more vigilant.  The first step is to help our elementary age children understand that pornography is wrong. And, if they run into it we want them to talk to us about it.  We want our children to process their introduction to porn with us, not friends or the Internet.

 

MONITOR YOUR KIDS

Watch what your kids are doing online.  Set up filters when they are young to protect them.  And when they are older, use X3watch.  This is a tool that will email you (or any accountability partner) any sketchy sites that your child visited.  It is an accountability tool.  In my opinion, accountability is better than filters because your child will learn to navigate around filters.   X3watch can lead to conversations between you and your child, which is exactly what your child will need.

 

 

 

PORNOGRAPHY IS A DRUG

One of the ways you can help our kids is by explaining the dangers of pornography.  We need to stop simply saying, “Don’t do it because it is wrong.”  Kids aren’t dumb.  They need to understand for themselves why it is dangerous.  This video does a nice job of explaining how pornography affects the brain in the way drugs do.

PUBLIC SCREENS

Computers are relatively easy to monitor.  Just keep the computer in a public space in your home.  Smart phones and tablets are a different story.  It is alarming that kids can access pornography anywhere at any time from a device they keep in their pocket.

When setting up boundaries, don’t forget about mobile devices.  A good rule is to require that your kids’ phones be charged in a public place overnight.  Keep all screens in public places.  Also, consider putting X3watch on mobile devices as well.

COMPASSION NOT ANGER

The way we respond to our kids when they confess to looking at porn or when we receive an email from X3watch that reveals what our kids have been looking at will determine whether or not our kids will trust us with accountability and honesty in the future.  Respond with compassion and help rather than anger and disappointment.

Especially for teenage boys, pornography is overpowering.  They need help navigating our over-sexualized culture rather than a guilt trip.  Help them set up boundaries.  Yes, consequences are still important but make them constructive.

The stories I hear of students overcoming pornography always involve them coming clean with their parents (particularly their dads) and their parents responding with compassion, love and healthy consequences and boundaries.

 

 

How to Survive in Student Ministry

Student Ministry can be a tough gig.  It wasn’t long ago that the average stay of a youth pastor was only a year to 18 months.  Actually, I don’t know who came up with those numbers.  They may not be real but I do know many youth workers who have dropped out of ministry far earlier than they dreamed.

It is also true that we as youth workers are most vulnerable in the early days of our career.  So, how do we survive these pivotal first years?  Here are a few thoughts…

 

1.       Admit that You’re not an Expert…Yet

 

When I graduated from good ole’ Moody Bible Institute, I thought I knew everything.  It didn’t take me long to realize that in fact I knew next to nothing.  The classroom just can’t teach the nuances of ministry.

The pressure of being new will temp you to pretend that you know everything.  This is a horrible idea.  Humility is paramount.  4 years of classroom training grants you a piece of paper.  It doesn’t make you an expert.  Years of experience in the field make you an expert.  During your first few years of ministry humility and teach-ability are crucial.

 

2.       Every Church Has Issues

Both of my church jobs had a honeymoon period.  One of them lasted 6 months and the other for about 6 days.  And no, I’m not telling you which was which.

If you’re like me, the emotions of life cloud your thinking.  When things go south it’s easy to say, “I picked the wrong church!  I gotta get outta here!”  Or “Church X down the street has a contemporary service!  I should go work there instead.”  The truth is, humans go to your church and humans go to that church.  There will be a few asinine policies wherever you go.  You will find impossible people in every environment.  There is no perfect church.  The comparison game is dangerous.

With all that said, I have seen a few toxic churches.  These communities will burn and scar you.  In these cases you should run and run fast.

However, you should never decide that your church is toxic too quickly or in a vacuum.  The heart is deceitful and we naturally detest what is difficult.  If you think your church is toxic, bring in a mentor to help you decipher the situation.

 

3.       Find the RIGHT Mentors

Everyone needs a Yoda.  Good news!  There are many seasoned student ministry vets out.  Find them.  You would be wise to spend some time with them and join their communities.  You can learn a ton from these people.

However, I have one piece of advice.  There are some vets out there who are venomously bitter.  To be blunt, don’t spend a lot of time with these people.  Bitterness is like the flu.  It’s highly contagious.  Protect yourself from bitterness because it will rob you of joy.

 

4.       Make a Commitment

While interviewing for my first job, I told the leadership that I would commit to five years.  Later, there were a few times that I wanted to kick myself for saying that.  In the end, I kept my word and I’m very glad that I did.

I needed time to work out who I am, what I believe, and my approach to student ministry.  You can’t figure this stuff out in a class or even a year on the job.  It takes time and practice.  It’s takes trial and error.

My encouragement for anyone who is early in their student ministry is to buckle down and stay put.  Work hard and learn.  Use this time to figure out your strengths, weaknesses and ministry philosophy.  Understanding yourself will lead to greater effectiveness whether you stay in your current position for decades or if you decide you need to move on.