Category: Church

Is Your Church Too Happy?

I recently read that one of the big reasons college aged Christians are walking away from the church is doubt.  What I mean is that they never openly wrestled with their doubts.  They were never given space or permission to do so.  As they struggled with doubts privately the power of their doubts grew.  And, I suspect, the people who finally gave them permission to confess their doubts also had a hand in dismantling their faith.

We have a problem.  Our student ministry, church and family cultures do not provide permission and space for doubt.  We have stigmatized doubt.  We have given it a bad rep and outlawed it in our ministry contexts.  Church is all smiles and praise.  If you are doubting you simply need more faith.  Please leave your sadness, doubt and pain at the door.  It isn’t welcome in our smiley service.

The problem with this approach is that it is unrealistic.  It isn’t real life.  It only represents half of what we experience as humans.  Let’s be real.  It’s fake and plastic.

THE SAD PSALMS

The psalms were the song book of the Jewish nation.  They were the songs of worship for the people of God.  Here’s the thing, if you read the psalms you’re going to come across a lot of raw emotion.  Most of it isn’t positive either.  There’s a whole lot of, “Where the heck are you God?”  There’s a bunch of “God I don’t understand and really don’t like what You’re doing.”  And even a little, “I wish I was dead because my life sucks!”

Maybe our student ministry and church environments are a little too polished and smiley.  They surely aren’t representative of what we find in the psalms.  Could it be that we need to make space for the darker emotions?  Research is showing that this generation of students is perhaps the most depressed generation in our nation’s history.  What are we doing to meet these kids where they are?  Maybe it’s time to reintroduce our students to the raw emotion and struggle of the psalms.

PERMISSION TO STRUGGLE

What our students and children need is the freedom to confess what they don’t understand and don’t believe with adults and spiritual mentors who care about them and will process with them.  Doubts are like sins in that when they are dragged out into the light they lose their power over us.  There is life and hope in the light.

DOUBT AND LAMENT

What if we taught our students from the psalms of doubt and lament?  What if we empowered them to pray as David prayed—with passion and angst?  What if we gave them permission to verbalize or at least write down their doubts?  What if we led them in songs of lament?  What if we recaptured the energy and life of the psalms in our student ministry contexts?

I believe that if we teach our students how to engage their doubts and disappointments while providing them with mentors who will walk with them through these experiences we will see a sharp decline in students walking away from the church.  If we remove the shame associated with doubt and the darker emotions we’ll give our students the freedom to be real and authentic.

We must find a way to engage our students in their doubts now while they are still within the orbits of our ministries and volunteers. Maybe the psalms are the key.

Maybe it’s time to reintroduce the psalms of doubt and lament.

 

image credited to Can’t Think

What Exactly Are Students Walking Away From?

We’ve all read the numbers.  We all get a little panicky when we think about how many students are walking away from church.  If the numbers are true, we’re facing a very serious problem because what we’re doing as parents and youth workers is not working.  We must grapple with one very difficult question:  why are students walking away from church after high school?

Maybe I’m over simplifying the issue but I think the answer is very easy.  Students aren’t walking away from church.  It’s not that the statistics are wrong.  Barna and Fuller have their numbers right.  That isn’t it at all.  And yet, I believe that students aren’t walking away from church.  They never belonged to church in the first place.  They’re walking away from something else entirely.

 

WHAT IS CHURCH?                                    

What is church?  That’s a really good question.  Personally, I think it’s best to define church by what I read in the New Testament.  Church is the Jesus community.  It’s a people bonded together by the presence, love and mission of Jesus.

The church is marked by the presence of Jesus.  There is something to be experienced in the church that cannot be experienced anywhere else.  The experience is different because Jesus is Immanuel.  The presence of God is with us.  Lives are being transformed.  Light is shining into darkness.  Life is breathed into death.  Hope is breaking forth in the midst of tragedy.

The church is defined by love.  The Jesus community shocked the world and overthrew an empire with love.  The Jesus community transformed the world in a few short centuries through inclusion, radical service, and care for the oppressed and forgotten.  Where the Gospel is preached and lived the world can never be the same.

The church is defined by the mission of Jesus.  The church is inviting people to follow Jesus.  It’s not asking people to join a club.  It’s not trying to fill seats in a building.  It’s inviting people to follow the most compelling person who ever walked the soil of this planet.  The church is inviting people into the restoration of the world through the Gospel of Jesus.

 

WHAT ARE STUDENTS WALKING AWAY FROM?

This is the church.  Students aren’t walking away from this.  People don’t walk away from the church.  It is far too magnetic.  The true church—defined by the presence, love and mission of Jesus is incredibly compelling.  It transforms lives, communities, cultures and nations.   Our students are walking away from something else entirely.

Maybe the problem is not that students are walking away.  In fact, they might be doing us a favor by pointing out the real problem.  Perhaps the problem is that we aren’t being the church.  Maybe we as parents, pastors and church leaders need to look in the mirror and ask ourselves some hard questions.  What exactly are we doing anyway?

 

The Cost of Leadership

My boss, Brian, has a saying that goes like this:  “Leadership is a series of losses.”  Like usual, the first time I heard him say it, I had no idea what he was talking about.   But over time, I’ve come to see that he’s got a genius streak.  Let me explain.

A few months I ago I received a promotion.  I was given more oversight, more responsibility and new roles.  Of course, getting promoted is a good thing and feels very nice.  I also love the idea of providing vision and oversight to the ministry.  However, I’ve learned that promotions aren’t all smiles and sunshine.  In fact, I’ve been mourning this transition for a few weeks now.

You see, I’ve spent the last five years building things.  Some of these things I’m very proud of.  About 50 adult volunteers make our high school ministry what it is.  It’s been my privilege and responsibility to recruit, train and walk with these volunteers.  I was the one who interviewed them, chose their small group and helped them find their way in the early days of volunteering.

I care deeply about each one of them.  We’ve walked through some heavy stuff—student and family crisis, personal loss, feelings of inadequacy, and relational conflict.  I also feel a strong sense of pride in knowing that I’ve had a role in equipping them.  But, it’s no longer my role to equip them.  I am losing this role.  It’s time to hand it over to someone else.

Over the last 3 years, I’ve built a high school to college transition program that I love.  At the risk of sounding like a regular jackwagon, I’m incredibly proud of this ministry.  I love it because it’s unique and effective.  My greatest joy in ministry over the last 3 years has been watching graduates of our ministry thrive in college and adulthood.  Knowing I’ve had even a small role in their growth is very rewarding.  But, with my new position, I won’t be able to lead this program any longer.  I am losing this role.  It’s time to hand it over to someone else.

For the last 12 years, I have been leading worship in student ministries on a regular basis.  I absolutely love playing music and drawing students into the presence of God.  I can’t imagine not leading worship.  And yet, it’s no longer my job to lead.  I’m losing this role.  It’s time to hand it over to someone else.

Please understand that I’m very happy about my promotion and I’m excited and honored to lead our high school ministry.  I feel this is exactly where God wants me and I know that it’s right but I have to be honest about the cost of leadership.  It’s terribly painful to build something and then hand it over to someone else and trust them to do the work.  Leadership costs something.

Moving up in an organization always leads to greater leverage and lesser contact.  5 years ago I left behind the role of everyday contact with high school students.  It was a painful but ultimately good transition.  And now, as the leader of our high school ministry, I have been gifted with the leverage to direct the entire ministry and yet, I know I will have less contact with our students and volunteers and less contact with some of the roles and programs I have loved over the last few years.

In this way, leadership is a series of losses.  I must let go of what I love and learn to empower others to take what I have built and transform it into something that is uniquely theirs.  Have any of you had this experience?

 

Church Signs

I’m fascinated with church signs. If I had a dollar for every time I’ve driven by a ridiculous church sign, did a facepalm and almost crashed my car, I’d have at least $20.  They are just so hilarious and embarrassing!

So, at the risk of offending everyone who writes content for church signs, I’d like to spend a little time reviewing some of the more baffling ones I’ve seen.

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I’m assuming this comes with a “Jesus is my child support” bumper sticker.

Photo Credited to J.G. Charlet III

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Wait…what?

photo credited to flamk

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I’m trying to remember the last time I paid for GPS…

photo credited to jon rubin

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I always appreciate good theology coupled with good grammar.

photo credited to williac

Day 207 :: 365 É Church Signs

Great.  Now I’m craving A1 sauce.

photo credited to echo9er

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If I remember correctly, Scully goes to this church.

photo credited to au_tiger01

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And if God had a dumpster, this sign would be in it.

photo credited to au_tiger01

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I’m not really up on technology.  Is this a Xanga reference?

photo credited to Loren Sztajer

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Fun as in slavery? I think I’ll keep my kids home.

photo credited to ttcopley

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Well that should put an end to atheism…

photo credited to Dvortygirl

 

I could look at ridiculous church signs for hours!  So entertaining.  OK, I’m done.

The Hope For the World

“Nobody cares about orphans in this country.  The Christians don’t want to get involved and everyone else pretends they don’t exist”  This was the criticism I heard from the director of a Ukrainian para-church organization 3 years ago after spending a heartbreaking and life-changing week with Ukrianian orphans.

I’ve never felt more hopeless than after leaving the orphans I had fallen in love with, knowing that 70% of the girls would end up involved in prostitution and most of the boys would end up in prison or addicted to drugs living on the streets.  Who would care for them?  Who would lift them out of poverty and hopelessness and teach them how to live.  No one.

That was 3 years ago.  In my opinion, the game has changed.  Along with me in that orphan camp 3 years ago was a Ukrainian pastor named Sasha who, to be honest, seemed to be there against his will.  He was the speaker for the camp but he didn’t seem to enjoy it at all.  He also seemed rather unwilling to engage the orphan children relationally.

But, when we returned to the camp the following year, he was waiting for us along a bunch of people from his church.  There could be no doubt, he was a different person.  His entire demeanor was different.  He had fallen in love with orphans.

As it turns out, he experienced the same haunting feelings of hopelessness and felt compelled to become more involved in orphan ministry.  Here was a man fighting against the cultural tide and leading his church to do the same.

Our second year of ministry with the orphans was amazing because we served as the body of Christ.  The Holy Spirit overcame 7 time zones, national borders, and language and cultural barriers to produce amazing camaraderie between Americans and Ukrainians.  It was a beautiful experience.

Some of these Ukrainians reordered their entire lives to serve orphans.  One young woman began visiting the orphans every weekend.  Now she’s teaching cooking classes in the orphan school, developing relationships what will endure as the kids exit the school and enter the real world.

Last month, I returned to Ukraine alongside 23 friends from our church.  This time, 25 Ukrainians from 3 different churches met us.  The passion of these Ukrainian Christians was deeply evident.  They led the way in all aspects of the ministry.  In three short years, everything has changed.

A few days after our orphan camp experience, I met a young pastor near Kiev whose passion for orphan ministry blew my mind.  I fought back tears as he described how his entire church is training to become mentors for orphan kids.  Their church is welcoming the orphans into their community with open arms.  They are teaching them vital life skills and connecting them into small groups.  The people from this church are setting up ministries at the local technical schools—where the orphans go after their time in the orphanages is complete.  The church is even putting on its own summer camp for orphan school graduates.  I honestly couldn’t believe what I was hearing.  His vision and model for ministry is amazing.

I also met a woman who, because of her orphan camp experience, plans to leave her medical practice and set up a transition home for orphans.

3 years ago I left Ukraine utterly hopeless.  I cried for weeks and even experienced terrible nightmares about the bleak futures awaiting these orphan children.  This year, I left with a powerful sense of hope.

God is in Ukraine.  God is moving in His people and His people are responding.  They are loving and equipping orphans.  God’s people are doing incredible work.  This is the church.  The church truly is the hope for the world.  When the church does what it was designed to do, it is beautiful, compelling and transformational.  I, for one, am very proud to belong to the church of Jesus Christ.