Category: small groups

Give Them What They Want

I believe the most important factor in a transformational student ministry is a team of magnetic volunteers.  That’s why I’m devoting an entire blog series to building a magnetic volunteer culture.  The first step is to give them what they’re looking for.

GIVE THEM A COMMUNITY

Young or old, Gen X or Millennial, we all want to belong.  We long for that feeling of “family.”  This longing is hardwired within us.  We are at our best when we have a place to belong.  Your volunteers are looking for a community.  Give it to them.

I’ve discovered that when you build a culture that provides volunteers with a place to belong it’s really hard to get rid of them!  I’m serious.  It might sound crazy, but we have a hundred and a half small group leaders and it really isn’t that hard for us to recruit them  It’s common for us to turn away applicants because we don’t have enough small groups for them to lead.  Mostly, I believe this is because we have a reputation of providing our volunteers with a second family.

Each small group leader in our ministry context serves alongside 8-10 other leaders in their “house.”  These leaders sit together at weekly leader meetings and collaborate to lead programming in a house every other week.  In addition, each of these “houses” has two volunteers within it whose primary role is caring for and guiding small group leaders as they lead their students.  Year after year, these “house” teams evolve into something like family.  It is common for our “house” teams to meet an hour before our programming for a leader meeting and to then go out for apps and drinks after our programming because they simply love being together.

If you give your volunteers a place to belong as well as a place to serve, you will create something powerfully magnetic.  It’s amazing to watch.

 

GIVE THEM A MISSION

Not only do we want to belong, but we want to be part of something bigger than ourselves.  We all long for a cause worth giving our lives to. Volunteers are looking for a mission to invest in.  Give them what they are looking for.

One of the biggest mistakes that student ministry leaders make is asking too little of their volunteers.  It’s easy to think that we’re inconveniencing volunteers so we end up saying things like, “Look, if you just show up and keep the kids from breaking something, I’ll buy you dinner.”

We do just the opposite.  We ask our leaders to pour their lives into students.  Right up front, we tell them that this is a massive investment–it’s exhausting, it’s long, it’s hard and oh, and we need you for at least four years.  How can we ask for all this?  We can because we paint a compelling picture of why this investment is so epically worth it and we can show it in the lives of graduated students and their leaders.

We’re investing in the next generation.  We say things like, “In a culture that has largely abandoned teenagers, you have an opportunity to be a mentor.  The impact that your investment will have is incredible.  Listen, in our ministry, you’ll be the youth pastor.  You’ll be the one who knows our students–what they are going through and what they need.  It’s a huge responsibility and an amazing opportunity.”  I’ve learned that this is a mission that many young adults are willing to invest in–especially if they experienced the benefits of a spiritual mentor when they were young.

Give your volunteers a mission to live for.  Don’t make the mistake of asking too little of your volunteers.  Paint a compelling picture of why small group leaders are so powerful in the lives of students and invite your volunteers into the mission.  Then, watch them get to work and just a warning…be prepared to be amazed.  Volunteers who find a place to belong and are sold out to a worthwhile mission are incredible to watch!

 

GIVE THEM A GUIDE

Students aren’t the only ones on a spiritual journey.  Our small group leaders need investment, direction and care too.  In other words, volunteers are looking for someone to guide them–someone has to have the maturity, resources and time to do this because your ministry is only as good as the quality of your volunteers.  If your volunteers aren’t growing then your potential is being stifled.

As I mentioned earlier, in our ministry context, each volunteer is placed within a “house” team.  Each of these teams has a leader of each gender that we call a coach.  A coach is a volunteer who has ministry experience.  Most of our coaches led a small group of students before becoming a coach.  They know all the tricks of the trade and are great at offering advice and tactics for leading small groups.  In addition, our coaches are typically a few years down the road from our small group leaders.  They are more mature in their faith and more established in life.  Because of this, we ask them to invest in the lives of our small group leaders.  We give them a budget and require them to meet up with their leaders one-on-one over coffee and lunch and journey with them.

We firmly believe that our ministry rises and falls with the quality of our volunteers and that’s why we invest in them so heavily.  Providing them with a built in mentor is a great way to invest in them.  Maybe you don’t have the personal or the budget to create a second tier of volunteers to “coach.”  If this is the case, I think that person needs to be you.  One person can really only deeply invest in about 6 students.  If you have more than 6 students in your student ministry, then it’s time to start investing more into your volunteers than you’re investing into your students.  It’s simple math.  Go for the more strategic investment.

So, how do you create a magnetic volunteer culture?  It all begins with giving them what they’re looking for.  I believe every person longs for a family, a mission and a guide.  If you are able to provide your volunteers with these three things you’ll be well on your way to a powerfully magnetic culture.  Stay tuned.  I have a few more ideas on building a magnetic culture and I’ll be sharing them over the next few days.

 

 

photo credited to timlewisnm via Flickr

 

Planting Dormant Seeds

I recently met up with a friend from high school.  This was a guy I shared Jesus with 18 years ago.  We were juniors in high school (yes, I’m that old).  At the time, he was receptive to the Gospel and I did my best to disciple him.  He joined my church’s youth group and we even formed a little rogue small group on the side.  He was full of passion and questions.  As often happens to high school friends, we grew apart when we moved away to college.  At first we talked periodically and then lost touch for many years.

Fast forward the tape 17 years, and I found myself sitting across from this old friend at Starbucks, listening to him narrate the tale of his life.  It hasn’t been a smooth journey.  He made a mess of things–very nearly destroying his family and himself.  And yet, in the midst of his destructive behavior, he couldn’t get away from Jesus.  He couldn’t get away from the conversations we had in high school, 17 years ago.  The seeds that were planted simply wouldn’t die.

To use his own words, he wasted many years of his life running from God and living for himself, but in the end, when his eyes were finally opened to the train-wreck he was headed for, he returned to Jesus.  He confessed his betrayals and sins to his wife and friends and by grace they responded with forgiveness and accountability.  Now, a few years beyond this breaking point in his life, he is thriving in his faith.  He’s engaged with a good church and he and his wife are working through marriage counseling.  He told me that finally, after two years,  they’ve graduated to monthly sessions.

What amazed me about this story was the time it took for this prodigal to come home.  It took years for the dormant seeds that were planted to grow.  There’s a lot of life that happens over 17 years!  How often I’ve assumed that a student is done with Jesus after only one 1 or 2 years of wandering.  How many times have I been wrong?  How many times did I give up too soon?

As a student pastor, I constantly remind myself and our volunteer small group leaders that student ministry is a long-term investment.  This conversation at Starbucks was a taste of my own medicine.  We can’t predict how the words of grace that we speak, on behalf of Jesus, will play out in the lives of those we invest in.  Mentoring a teenager in faith is incredibly powerful, but we often can’t predict how long it will take for our words to take root.  In the case of my friend, it was 17 years.

I can’t help but wonder how my friend’s journey might have been different if we had stayed connected.  How much pain could have been avoided if someone had been speaking love and truth into his life during his wandering?  We must find ways to stay connected and invested in the lives of our students in life beyond high school.

Sometimes the seeds we plant will remain dormant for years, sometimes for decades, but the planting of these seeds matters.  What we as student pastors, volunteers, small group leaders, parents, teachers and mentors say and do in the lives of students is hugely important.  Don’t give up.  Don’t quit.  Never write a student off.  We never know when seeds are lying dormant, waiting for the right conditions or stresses to spring to life.

 

image credited to Rex Boggs via Flickr

The 1 Thing You Have That Trumps Culture

Recently, I attended the Orange Tour at Woodside Bible Church in Troy, MI.  BTWs, if you haven’t been to the Orange Tour, it is a great one day experience.  We took our entire family ministries team and loved it!  And, Woodside Bible is a pretty cool church who I enjoy talking with because, like us, they are a large church attempting to figure out multi-sites.

Anyway, while I was at the Orange Tour, Reggie Joiner said something that has stuck with me.  When he said it, I wanted to stand up and shout, “YES!” but I didn’t because I got scared.  I didn’t come from one of those church backgrounds where people yell amen at the preacher or even clap.  We grunted or perhaps nodded.  Well, now I’m off-track.

So, let me paraphrase what Reggie said:   We, in student ministry, often get caught up in the flash and bang of programming and environment.  We focus on great videos, lighting, sound, games, and musicians.  We tend to believe that these things will attract people.

Many of us, who don’t have access to the massive budgets of mega churches, feel that we can’t compete with the larger churches.  They have their fancy youth centers, production engineers, and arena-quality auditoriums.  If the flash and bang of programming and environment is what attracts students, then smaller churches might as well close up shop, right?

But, the truth is that none of us, mega or small, can compete with what people see on TV, YouTube or the theater.  Our culture will always win in a war of technology and entertainment.  Whether you are a mega church of 20,000 or a country bumpkin church of 50, you cannot consistently beat culture in a game of who is more technologically or artistically innovative.

There is, however, one way in which culture can never beat us.  There is one thing that we provide that students cannot get anywhere else in our culture, and that is caring, spiritually mature adults who consistently love students and invest in them.  It’s all about relationships.  The vast majority of kids don’t have adults in their lives who are consistently there for them, whose motives are not exploitative in any way.  These relationships are where we can win, and this is why a small student ministry can be every bit as effective as a meg church student ministry.

Here’s how to do it:

1.  Recruit and Equip Pastors

Students have plenty of adults in their lives.  It’s not that we just need more nice adults.  What we need are pastors.  We need adults who are spiritual mature who have the capacity and desire to walk alongside students and mentor them in faith.  In our ministry, the small group leaders are the pastors.  They are the ones who shepherd the students.

To be clear, this requires and immense amount of training, community and coaching.  We imbed our small group leaders in community, train them on a bi-weekly basis and constantly meet with them for coffee along the way to encourage and guide them.  The truth is, our staff invests far more in our volunteers than our students.  This is one of the secret ingredients for growth in student ministry.

2.  Think Long-Term

The kind of shepherding relationship we’re talking about doesn’t happen overnight.  It takes years to develop.  Most students don’t have adults in their lives who are consistently there for them so it takes a long time to build trust.  We ask our middle school leaders to lead for 3 years and our high school leaders to lead for 5 (4 years in high school and 1 year beyond).  The depth of relationship we are talking about here takes a long-term investment.  You have to fight for longevity.

We’ve achieved longevity because our staff stick around forever and because we’ve created a culture in which the kind of adults who are want hate leaving.  Give your volunteers the same depth of community and shepherding that students crave.

3. Focus on the Conversation

If relationships are the one way we can beat culture every time, then our entire focus should be on the conversation.  Every event should be about groups and groups should be the focal point of all your programming.  For us, the focus isn’t worship or even the teaching.  It’s small group time.  The teaching always points to a conversation that leaders have been prepared for.  On retreats, mission trips and camps, small groups experience these things together.  It’s all about the conversation.

 

So, whether you are a student ministry of 10 or 10,000, relationships are where we can win.  We can offer students something incredible powerful and magnetic:  a relationship with a caring adult who loves them and wants to invest in their lives.  If you’d like to learn more on how to develop a student ministry like this.  This is the book for you:  Creating a Lead Small Culture.

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photo credited to David Pacey via Flickr

Mentoring Casts a Long Shadow

Melissa was the quietest girl in my group. She had dark hair and beautiful blue eyes. Once her grandma, who picked her up and brought her to our church each week, pulled me aside in the hallway and asked, “Could you keep a special eye on Melissa? Things are really rough at home right now.”

Melissa wasn’t one of the girls who would run up and give me a hug when I walked in the room. She wasn’t bouncing up and down, just dying to tell me about the prank they had just played on the boys. Melissa would just give me a shy smile. She hung back. She didn’t say much during our discussion and prayer time.

But in her eyes I saw a hunger for more. She was hurting. She was looking for hope.

By spring, the girls in my group had earned enough points (by memorizing verses, doing their quiet time sheets, and attending regularly) for a party at my house.  We decided to have an Orange Party—which meant we would wear orange clothes, eat orange food, and do an orange scavenger hunt in my neighborhood.

After an orange-filled afternoon, I pulled the girls into a huddle on the floor in my basement, and told them the story of Jesus dying on the cross and rising again. It wasn’t the first time I had told it. It wasn’t the first time they had heard it. But for two girls, it was the first time the story overlapped with their stories.

Melissa was one of those girls. I remember the sweet intensity of her prayer, as she asked Jesus to save her from her sin and be her Lord. And I remember her smile afterward—those big blue eyes sparkling.

I moved away shortly after this, and I didn’t hear from Melissa for about fifteen years. Then, last summer, she sent me a message via facebook.

Melissa was a young mom now. Life hadn’t been easy. She was expecting her third baby, and she wasn’t married. And even though she hadn’t made the best choices, she wanted to come back to God. She was reaching out to me because she knew I could help. And it’s been my great delight to do so!

As we’ve reconnected, I’ve silently wondered why Melissa thought to reach out to me. We live in different states now. We probably wouldn’t have recognized each other on the street. And there probably are Christians whose paths cross with Melissa’s.

I’ve thought about several other girls, too, who have reconnected with me over the years. One girl was in my cabin at a summer camp. Eight years after I led her to Jesus at camp, she was struggling with suicidal thoughts. So she looked up my address and wrote me a letter, asking me to pray.

Another girl contacted me via facebook, just after she got married. She said that she had just packed the little book mark I gave her in middle school. The bookmark’s glow-in-the-dark cross didn’t glow anymore, but it had been on her nightstand for years, reminding her of the things I had taught her about God. She said, “If you hadn’t been there… I really think my life could have gone another way.” She just wanted to write and say thanks.

To each of these girls, I somehow represented a time that their eyes were opened to Jesus. I’m the one who got to put their hands in His.

This is what youth ministry is all about! Putting their hands in His. We only have a few moments to walk with them. Pretty soon, they’ll be walking away from our church, our youth ministry, our influence. Will they walk with Jesus?

lf we never ask that question, I doubt whether mentoring will truly happen. If we don’t dream about who are kids are becoming and where they are going in life, we’ll be content to eat orange food, wear orange clothes, and call it a day of youth ministry.

But on the other hand, true mentoring casts a long shadow. When we care enough to cross over into our kids’ lives, we can make a difference that extends into the coming decades and ultimately crosses into eternity. We can bring little blue eyed girls like Melissa with us to heaven.

 

Shannon Popkin bio pic

Shannon Popkin is so thankful for the 10+ years that she got to serve in various capacities of youth ministry. Nowadays, she focuses on ministering to the three kids who constantly fill both her laundry baskets with dirty clothes, and her heart with joy. Shannon and her husband Ken have been married for almost eighteen years, and they are so thankful for the support they get from Ada Bible’s Lifeline (youth group) in raising their kids to know and love God.
As a writer and speaker, Shannon loves to encourage women to put their hope in God. Check out her blog, Tiny Paragraphs, at www.shannonpopkin.com.
photo credited to iamdogjunkie via Flickr

The Evening Highs and Lows Tantrum

Everyone knows that all great student ministry small groups start off with “highs and lows” or some variation of it.  Some call them “best and worst,” “roses and thorns” some “wows and pows,” “mountains and valleys,” and others “poops and giggles”–an unsanctioned “craps and laughs” has even weaseled it’s way into popular usage much to the chagrin of conservative youth workers everywhere.  Also, more linguistically sophisticated youth groups employ “waxes and wanes.”  Actually, that’s a lie.  I don’t believe that archaic wording has been seen since 1884.

If you’re unfamiliar with the concept, the idea behind “highs and lows” is that each student shares the high and low points of their week. This exercise is incredibly important because how else could Billy share about his great aunt Mabel’s bunion issue or how could Sally’s tell of her cat’s untimely end in the neighborhood cul-de-sac.

On a more serious note, “highs and lows” is actually a genius technique for leading a small group.  It creates space for each student to share and employed over time the exercise creates an atmosphere of honesty and support.  If you’re not utilizing it in your small group I won’t tell anyone of your noobitrocity but you should get on it!

A few months ago I decided to employ “highs and lows” in my family.  We began to share our “wow and pows” at every evening meal.  I fancy it to be a mini-small group time.  My kids are young–7, 5, 3, 1 so, sometimes the sharing is a little ridiculous.  Here are a few quotes:  “My high is that I won a monkey at school.”  “My high is that Parker asked me to marry him.”  “My low for today was that I peed my pants at school…again.”

Sometimes sanctioned “highs and lows” protocol is broken.  For example, my 3 year old hasn’t exactly grasped the difference between highs and lows so he always refers to the worst part of his day as his “high” which sets of a cacophony of laughter and well meaning corrections from my oldest son who is immensely concerned with exactness of procedure.  He’s a perfectionist in the making.

After the laughter has quieted, a second break in protocol arises.  My oldest daughter, who shall remain anonymous is rather rambly.  They say that in a typical day women use twice as many words as men.   Well, I am sure that my daughter uses roughly four or five times that amount.  She has the amazing gift of being able to stretch a short story into an incredibly long affair. She’s sort of like a Hobbit movie in that way.

As a typical dinner goes, she will begin to share what her low of the day was and my oldest son, who you may recall is concerned with exactness and specificity as well as succinctness and accuracy interrupts the story with a shorter and more correct rendering of the tale before she has finished.  Everyone knows that interrupting another’s “high” or “low” is a serious procedural infraction.

Now, along with being exceptionally wordy, my oldest daughter is also an Olympic level tantrumist.  Yes, she can go from zero to flail in just under 3 seconds.  Her tale now highjacked by her accuracy minded brother, my daughter will presently throw herself to the kitchen floor and flail about for several exceptionally loud moments.   At this point, the meal is either ruined or we take a 5 minute recess to regroup.  This is essentially what happens every time we do “highs and lows” at the Buer house.

All in all, I must say that I plan to continue using “highs and lows” at our evening meal from now until I’m too weak or senile to boss my kids around.  What I love is that my kids are learning to share honestly with each other and with us.  I also know that community isn’t built overnight.  It takes investment and time.  Over and over again I’ve seen 6th grade small groups that from the outside appears to be a WWE cage match, and yet that same group in the late years of high school is transformed into a beautiful picture of what grownup church ought to be.

The truth is that you can’t have the honesty, love and commitment without first going through the cage match.  Real community is forged in the wrestling and stories of aunt Mabel’s bunion and the dead cat cul-de-sac.  It takes time.  And, that’s exactly why I’m going to keep plugging away with “highs and lows” at the dinner table.  Although, a pair of ear plugs for the tantrums may not be a bad idea.

 

image credited to Amanda Tipton

 

 

 

 

Small Group Fail

Do you ever feel like you totally dropped the ball as a small group leader? I don’t mean those times where you go in for the appropriate side hug and get full-frontal attacked by a student, or the times you make some awkward comment to a 9th grade girl about her boyfriend without knowing they broke up two hours earlier. I’m talking about times that you flat-out fail on your own merit.

In case you hadn’t guessed, I am no stranger to those gut wrenching evenings of small group time where nothing is accomplished and the only one to blame is yourself. For me, I particularly get caught up in the “not being prepared” vain of failure. It’s not that I don’t think preparation is important, I just run out of time (so I tell myself). Annoyingly, I’ve discovered that when I do prepare, my small group is typically inattentive, and when I don’t they’re more ready to listen then ever—and I have nothing to say. Knowing I’m responsible for dropping the ball in those cases invites a very different feeling in me than when something I try simply doesn’t work. I’m sure you are all too smart for this, but I sort of have a tendency to beat myself up when this happens—because as the leader, I’m supposed to be the holy one, right? Not the unprepared, lazy kid. It’s in these moments that I think, “Who the heck let me in here?”

Yet when I have utterly botched up small group leadership and feel I am no longer worthy to be a leader, I remind myself of a few things. If you’ve ever been there, I invite you to scan this list as well. I know you already understand that God’s bigger than your stupid moments, but it’s good to be reminded. Here is my reminder list in times of failure:

You are not finished learning

No matter how long you’ve been leading a small group—whether it’s months or decades—you will never be a perfect leader. There will inevitably be days you’re not prepared, days you say the wrong thing, and days when no one responds to your questions or jokes. As it turns out, no matter how many people tell you you’re a great leader, you’ll never be done learning what that looks like. (There’s a head shrinker for you.)

The group isn’t lost

If you’re an invested leader who tries to build relationships and speak truth to students, one bad week won’t scatter the sheep. In youth ministry, we like to remind our leaders about how little time they have with their students because it’s good for them to feel urgency with kids they often see only 30 times a year (or less). But while it’s good to be reminded of how little time we have, it’s also good to keep in mind that one bad week is still only 3% bad in a year. The rest of the year could be 97% good! Don’t beat yourself up, just strive to grow toward that new 97% goal. (I guess you could strive for extra credit and take your kids out to ice cream too, but I’m not guaranteeing you’ll get your 3% back.)

Tell ‘em: adults mess up too

It’s easy to tell our small group kids that they need to own up to their messes (because let’s be honest, many of them have obvious messes to clean up). It’s a lot harder to admit that we screw up too. Talking about past mistakes you’ve grown out of is one thing, but admitting you still mess up is another. Yet I think if we miss out on these opportunities to tell our students when we drop the ball, we miss showing them what confession looks like. Some students may not have ever seen a real apology.

You screwing up is an opportunity to:

  • model what it is to ask forgiveness, even for something small
  • model humility as a leader

You’d be surprised how much respect you can gain by admitting you’re still not perfect. I mean, don’t make it a habit or anything, but a one-time screw up could actually draw your group closer to you.

So next time you don’t prepare, or you lose your temper, or you roll your eyes when you should’ve said something supportive, remind yourself of these things. And most importantly, keep going. Our enemy would like you to give up; God’s given you the grace to move forward. If you haven’t noticed, he’s pretty good at using imperfect people to turn out epic results.

 

Guest Blogger:  Elisa Talmage has spent over six years as small group leader of kids from 4th to 9th grade.  She is now on staff as the Female Small Groups Coordinator at Ada Bible Church and is currently pursuing a Master of Arts in Counselor Education. Elisa grew up in Cleveland, Ohio, where she and her husband met in fifth grade.

 

image credited to Chuckumentary

How to Pull off an Epic Volunteer Retreat

When it comes to pulling off an epic volunteer retreat, the key is understanding what it is that you want to accomplish.  Over the years, we’ve honed our focus down to three things. We want our volunteers to walk away from the retreat feeling connected, inspired and valued.  Our retreat is all about connecting volunteers to each other and to God, inspiring them to become the best volunteers they can be and valuing them for their uniqueness and their investment.

A KILLER THEME

We happen to believe that fun is spiritual and that taking the time to meticulously plan out a fun experience communicates value to our volunteers.  The key element of fun for us this year was our 80s theme.  Everyone came to the retreat dressed like it was 1983.  The soundtrack from the weekend was exclusively from the 80s.  All the games, prizes, decorations and snacks were from the 80s.  This theme added an incredible amount of fun and structured fun communicates value.

SONY DSC

COMMUNITY

Our goal is to weave community into every aspect of our volunteer retreat because we believe that volunteers who serve in community are better volunteers.  Because of this, we ask our cell families (teams of volunteers) to carpool and eat dinner together on the way to retreat.  We house each cell family together and build in cell family discussion in response to each session.  Aside from these elements, we believe that the very nature of getting away together as a community of leaders, staying up late playing volleyball or Setters of Catan, and eating meals together builds community.

GUEST SPEAKER

In our ministry context, we train our volunteers every other week.  Our volunteers hear from us a lot.  Because of this we will often bring in a guest speaker for our retreat simply because they bring fresh stories, language and perspective to the conversation.  This year we asked Brian, our Senior Pastor of Family Ministries and Ian Nacy, a local youth pastor to come and inspire our volunteers.

CONTENT THAT COUNTS

If you’re going to take the time to get your volunteers away, you should make it worth their while.  You need to communicate something valuable.  This year, our schedule included 3 sessions–two on Saturday and one long session on Friday night which included a 40 minute worship set.  If the retreat is all “fun” elements, your volunteers will be asking why they needed to come in the first place.

Here’s our schedule if you’d like to see it:  Retreat Schedule

THE VALUE PLAN

There are two ways to do a retreat.  There is the, “we have $5 to make this happen because we didn’t plan for it” and there’s the “we’re going to pull of an epic experience for our volunteers.”  We’ve found that it’s the little things that communicate value.  Choose a camp with nice facilities.  Tell the camp what meals you’d like to eat so you don’t end up with cafeteria corn dogs for lunch, bring great snacks, give away something big, put care into the programming elements and for crying out loud, don’t make your volunteers serve on their retreat.

LEAVE THEM WANTING MORE

In my opinion, one of the most important elements to a good retreat is when you end it.  It’s always tempting to try to do too much and keep your volunteers for too long.  We’ve struggled with finding this balance over the years but we’ve landed on this truth:  It’s always best to leave them wanting more.  If they can’t wait to come back next year then we’ve nailed it.

We start our retreat at 7:00 on Friday night and end it at 2:30 on Saturday afternoon.  It may seem to short but we don’t feel the need to cram hours of training into our volunteer retreat because we already train our volunteers every other week.

 

So, the key to an epic volunteer retreat is understanding what you want to accomplish.  For us, it’s all about connecting, inspiring and value.  What’s your goal and how do you achieve it?

 

 

 

 

Why Your Ministry Needs a Volunteer Retreat

Last weekend was our 17th annual volunteer retreat.  Ok, I actually have no idea how many retreats we’ve done but 17th annual has a nice ring to it.  Here’s the thing, of all the things we do in our student ministry, I believe that our volunteer retreat is in the top 3.  It’s crucial to our culture.  I can’t imagine not doing it next year and here’s why you should be putting one on too.

YOU NEED GREAT VOLUNTEERS

This year we set a new LifeLine record with 116 small groups so yes, we have a bunch of volunteers.  But here’s the thing, if you have more than 12 students, you need small groups and if you need small groups then you need volunteer leaders.  Not only do you need volunteers but you need great volunteers.  You need the kind of volunteers that you can trust to be spiritual shepherds to our students.  And, not only do you need great volunteers, you need great volunteers who will serve year after year because student ministry is a long-term investment.

So, how do you end up with great volunteers who stay engaged for the long-haul?  You invest in them.  A volunteer retreat is an incredible opportunity to invest deeply in your volunteers.  Here’s how it works.

VALUE

Here’s what I know:  volunteers who feel valued stay engaged in our ministry.  When volunteers understand, not only that we need them but that we enjoy them as people and value their individual gifting they tend to stick around.  We use our volunteer retreat to to create space for value conversations.  There is so much more that can be said on a weekend.

FUN

Volunteers who have a great time serving in student ministry tend to stay in student ministry.  If our volunteers are bored then we are seriously missing the mark.  We treat our volunteer retreat like a party.  Last weekend’s retreat included loud music, big prizes, crazy costumes, interactive games and hilarious videos.  If it isn’t fun you aren’t doing it right and your volunteers will likely go find someplace fun to serve.  Conversely, we’ve found that volunteers who have fun serving in our ministry stay engaged year after year.

SKILLZ

Nobody likes to suck at stuff.  This is a fundamental principle of humanity.  Student ministry is not an easy gig.  Leading a small group can be terribly difficult.  Volunteers who don’t feel like they are doing a good job will rarely stick around.  It’s our job as ministry leaders to equip them because volunteers who feel competent stay engaged.  We train our volunteers every other week but there is something special about getting away together on a retreat to really dig into core training concepts.

COMMUNITY

We are all hungry for community.  We believe that volunteers who have strong community make better spiritual shepherds for our students.  Some ministries require that their volunteers find a solid community, we build it right into our structure.  We have found that volunteers who connect deeply with other volunteers tend to stay engaged in our ministry for years.  For us, this is the biggest win of a volunteer retreat.  A weekend creates a ton of space for connecting.

GO AND DO

So, what’s the bottom line?  You should do a volunteer retreat!  Why?  Because we need great volunteers who stay engaged for years.  Volunteers who stay engaged feel valued, have fun, feel competent and serve in community.  A volunteer retreat is a great opportunity to invest in volunteers in each of these areas.

Tomorrow I’ll share some ideas on exactly how to pull off an epic retreat.

3 Levels of Belonging

Our student ministry does something that I believe is rather unique.   We call it cell family and we stole the idea wholesale from a church across town about a decade ago.  They stopped doing it years ago and we’ve been dumb enough to stick with it.  And yet, we’ve come to love it and it’s become an indispensable part of who we are as a ministry.  What exactly is cell family? I’m glad you asked.

ONE EPIC NIGHT OF AWESOMENESS

Our high school ministry meets on Sunday nights.  We built our ministry around small groups and we’re one of those student ministries that attach our small groups to our programming.  In other words, we pack everything into Sunday nights:  hang out, games, worship, teaching and small groups.  We always leave the last 30 minutes of our night to small groups.  We believe this is the best model for student ministry for a variety of reasons but we can argue about that in another post.

CELL FAMILY

What makes us unique is that every other week we meet in homes.  Instead of meeting all together with all of our students and volunteers, we meet in regional homes based on school.  We don’t add another night of programming, we do cell family in place of our regular large group programming.  Sound like a logistical nightmare?  It is.  But to us, it’s worth it.

THREE LEVELS OF CONNECTION

There are a few reasons we believe this model is strategic. First off, we believe that students need to know and be known.  Our dream is that students would know be known by ten adult volunteers (each cell family has 10 volunteers in it).  These volunteers know each student’s name and basic story.

We also want each student to experience three levels of belonging.  We want them to belong to something big.  There is something special about worshiping together with hundreds of people.  We also want our students to belong to something small.  Small groups are the place where they can be vulnerable and real.  It’s the environment in which they can be cared for and led by an invested adult.

Lastly, we believe our students need to belong to something midsize.  We believe that there is something valuable in 30 or 40 people in a house.  It feels a bit like a family reunion.  It’s a support network.  It’s a place where younger students can observe the faith of older students and where volunteers can show students what healthy relationships look like.  It’s a place for students to try out their gifts and talents and it’s a place where they can have a voice.

INTERACTIVE TEACHING

Cell family is also a response to how students learn.  We believe that students retain information best when they are able to interact with it as it is presented.  In our cell families, we teach through discussion rather than preaching.  Instead of a 20 minute presentation, we produce a 7 minute teaching video that leads into a group discussion.  We believe this model of communicating better fits how our students learn.

SERVE AS A FAMILY          

The last and perhaps most important reason we do cell family is volunteer community.  We believe that volunteers are at their best when they are serving as a family.  Each cell family is composed of 6-8 small group leaders and two volunteers that oversee the cell family.  These “coaches” as we all them have two roles:  care for their small group leaders and oversee the cell family programming.

Each time we meet in cell family, the volunteer team meets an hour early and has dinner at the cell family home.  Over time, the combination of these meals and serving together leads to fantastic volunteer community.  We want our volunteers to feel supported and together and cell family is a huge reason why we’re able to achieve this.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Truth About Cilantro

Recently, I was out for dinner with friends.  After hours of laughter and fun, I returned home and much to my chagrin, found a ginormous piece of green, slimy cilantro in my teeth.   I’m not talking about a speck either.  I’m talking about the entire leaf.  Immediately, my mind flashed back to all the laughter and smiles and I realized that I’d been sporting my little green friend all night.  I was mortified and quickly angry.  “Why didn’t anyone tell me!”

I submit to you that a true friend discreetly points out the cilantro with a sly finger picking motion.  This is a universal nonverbal that is understood across cultures.  Quickly and quietly make eye contact and pick at your own teeth.  Your friend will quickly realize that you are a good Samaritan attempting to rescue them from social awkwardness.   Once the picking begins you may correct your friend with a whispered “no, the left-side,” and you’re on your way.  No harm.  No foul.

But in my situation, I was left out in the cold.  I was probably the subject of concerned conversation in the car on the way home.  “Did you see Aaron’s teeth?  Does he even brush?”

Here’s the thing, I can’t see my teeth!  I’m not a girl.  I don’t carry one of those pocket mirror thingies.  I’m at the mercy of my friends to point out my blind spot.

The same reality exists in the important parts of life too.  There are aspects of life in which we have blind spots.  We’re so enamored with her that we can’t see that she might not be good for us.  We’re so obsessed with getting that thing, achievement or promotion that we can’t see how that thing, achievement or promotion is quickly becoming a god to us.  We’ve become so depressed that we can’t see the good in life through the emotional darkness and gloom.

There are times that I need you to tell me the truth.  I need you to point out the cilantro in my teeth because I can’t see it.  In the same way, I need you to tell me the true about her, that thing, or how I feel.

We need each other.  We need community because we have blind spots.  We each need people who don’t mind having that awkward conversation.  “Sorry if this is weird but you have a ginormous piece of green cilantro in your teeth and I would hate for you to laugh it up all night with that vegetation stuck in your grill.”  Or, “Sorry if this is weird, I know you really like her but I have some concerns about her character and where this is going.”

Do you have people in your life who speak the truth?  Are you open to hearing the truth?  This is community.  We were created for it and when we try to live without it we can’t grow into the people that God desires for us to be.

 

image credited to looseends