Recently, I was out for dinner with friends. After hours of laughter and fun, I returned home and much to my chagrin, found a ginormous piece of green, slimy cilantro in my teeth. I’m not talking about a speck either. I’m talking about the entire leaf. Immediately, my mind flashed back to all the laughter and smiles and I realized that I’d been sporting my little green friend all night. I was mortified and quickly angry. “Why didn’t anyone tell me!”
I submit to you that a true friend discreetly points out the cilantro with a sly finger picking motion. This is a universal nonverbal that is understood across cultures. Quickly and quietly make eye contact and pick at your own teeth. Your friend will quickly realize that you are a good Samaritan attempting to rescue them from social awkwardness. Once the picking begins you may correct your friend with a whispered “no, the left-side,” and you’re on your way. No harm. No foul.
But in my situation, I was left out in the cold. I was probably the subject of concerned conversation in the car on the way home. “Did you see Aaron’s teeth? Does he even brush?”
Here’s the thing, I can’t see my teeth! I’m not a girl. I don’t carry one of those pocket mirror thingies. I’m at the mercy of my friends to point out my blind spot.
The same reality exists in the important parts of life too. There are aspects of life in which we have blind spots. We’re so enamored with her that we can’t see that she might not be good for us. We’re so obsessed with getting that thing, achievement or promotion that we can’t see how that thing, achievement or promotion is quickly becoming a god to us. We’ve become so depressed that we can’t see the good in life through the emotional darkness and gloom.
There are times that I need you to tell me the truth. I need you to point out the cilantro in my teeth because I can’t see it. In the same way, I need you to tell me the true about her, that thing, or how I feel.
We need each other. We need community because we have blind spots. We each need people who don’t mind having that awkward conversation. “Sorry if this is weird but you have a ginormous piece of green cilantro in your teeth and I would hate for you to laugh it up all night with that vegetation stuck in your grill.” Or, “Sorry if this is weird, I know you really like her but I have some concerns about her character and where this is going.”
Do you have people in your life who speak the truth? Are you open to hearing the truth? This is community. We were created for it and when we try to live without it we can’t grow into the people that God desires for us to be.
image credited to looseends
