Student Ministry | Aaron Buer

Lessons From Africa 4: Students

LESSON FOUR: STUDENTS ARE POWERFUL

“Students are the church of tomorrow.” I hear this line all the time but is it true? Are they the church of tomorrow?

A few years ago, you may have heard me make this statement, but now I embrace a different belief about students. Students are the church of now. Not only is this true, but the Church desperately needs students right now for their unique insights, passion and ways of approaching the world.

In addition, research and experience have shown that students who are entrusted with the mission of the Church now are far more likely to stick with following Jesus in life beyond high school. Like in sports, if we keep them on the sidelines, they’ll likely lose interest and quit. But, if we dare put them on the field, there is a chance that their insights and passions might just change the game. The truth is: the Church needs what they bring–not tomorrow, but right now.

A few weeks ago, I co-lead a team of high school students on a serving trip to a CURE International hospital in Blantyre, Malawi. While we were there, our students helped uncover a new approach for the hospital staff. You see, the hospital staff was completely focused on the children under their care, and for good reason. They were healing children physically and doing their best to impact them spiritually. Our students, many of whom have years of experience leading small groups of 2nd or 4th graders jumped right in, helping to lead a VBS, and just loving on kids like pros. But, they took it one step further, they invited all the mothers and guardians who were there with their children to participate. They pulled them into the crafts, gave them toys and prizes, painted their nails, and encouraged them.

At first the hospital staff resisted and requested that our students focus on the children exclusively but our students insisted. Our teenagers intuitively understood the value of a family based ministry model, even if it meant accidentally giving the Muslim family a beanie baby pig. Oops.

It was incredibly moving for me to watch the transformation that took place in the hospital ward over the course of the week. All these children and women were terrified. Many of them assume that this is the last stop for their children. The traditional remedies didn’t work, the village holy man couldn’t heal their son. This is a last ditch effort. There were very few smiles and the level of anxiety was palpable.

Over the course of the week, purely through expressions of love and generosity, the atmosphere transformed. There was dancing, laughing, hugging and play. In the end, a few members of the hospital staff pulled us aside to share how thankful they were that our students had revealed the importance of loving and serving the mothers as well as the children. This wasn’t something we planned to do. It wasn’t part of the ministry strategy. It was simply something our students observed and acted on.

It was beautiful. I was so proud of our kids and it reminded me of how valuable our students are, not 10 years from now but right now. Put them on the field. Let them into the game. It’s the best thing for them and for the church. We need their fresh approach, passion and ingenuity.

Youth Pastor Wanted!

We are looking for a new teammate to join our student ministry team–someone who values collaborating, excellence, empowering others, and fun. Specifically, we are looking for someone who will:

lead our high school small groups ministry
oversee our sticky faith/college transition components
organize and lead mission trips
recruit and train volunteers
periodically teach from the platform
collaborate well with our staff team
generate astronomical ideas

Here’s a little about us:

Ada Bible is a large multi-site church in the Grand Rapids, MI area.
Our student ministry staff team consists of 13 wickedly talented and fun people.
Our student ministry is huge on small groups, simplicity, volunteer empowerment, programming excellence and missions
If you are looking for a label, we are an Orange partner church

Click here to check out the job description and or apply. Also, if you aren’t interested but know of someone who would fit well, please encourage them to apply.

If you have thoughts or questions, feel free to email me. I don’t mind blunt or dumb questions.

Why Structure is Everything

The other day, I found myself sitting around a table eating spinach and artichoke dip with my friends Jon and Brian, who happen to be two of the smartest people I know. In my experience, great food and drink lead to great conversation. As often happens, we were passionately discussing ministry strategies and philosophies. Brian made a statement has been rattling around my head ever since. Here’s what he said:

“Structure unleashes relationship.”

Here’s what followed in our conversation…

1. DISCIPLESHIP IS ALL ABOUT RELATIONSHIP

Student ministry that transforms lives is all about relationships. Great student ministry involves spiritually mature and caring adults pouring their lives into students. In essence is about spiritual mentoring. In addition, great student ministries create cultures in which students learn to live in community with peers. Through small groups, students begin to experience the family of Jesus through encouragement, presence, accountability and life together. When it comes to student ministry, relationships are crucial.

Sometimes I hear from youth workers about how their student ministry is all about discipleship. “We teach the Word!” My argument would be that without deep and sustained relationship there is no such thing as discipleship. Students do not learn well from lectures or sermons. They, and we, if we are honest, learn in the context of relationship. We learn from discussing ideas with mentors and people we trust. We learn from watching others and practicing together. In truth, discipleship is all about relationships.

2. RELATIONSHIPS AREN’T ORGANIC

Relationships have a odd way of running toward chaos. Pick a relationship in your life. Left alone, it will run toward chaos. If you neglect a friendship, marriage or business relationship, it will slowly degrade and eventually collapse into ruins. I’ve come to believe that relationship are in fact, not organic. In other words, relationships do not simply happen or grow stronger naturally. Life reveals the exact opposite. In my relationship with my wife, we grow apart when we don’t intentionally invest and protect our relationship. Especially because we have four kids, growth in our relationships requires scheduled dates, persistent connection, shared projects…in other words, structure.

I have often heard from student pastors and volunteers that their ministry is very organic. “We’re just about relationships. We’re like the early church in that way.” What they mean is that program and structure are somehow counterproductive to discipleship. In my experience, this philosophy sounds impressively spiritual but it is in truth over-simplistic and doesn’t actually lead to discipleship.

Discipleship happens over time and in the context of many conversations. Discipleship is built on the foundation of trust, shared experience and intentionality. It doesn’t happen organically and it doesn’t happen in a pew. It happens in purposeful relationships and it is structure that unleashes these relationships.

3. CULTURE ISN’T ORGANIC

We have an obsession with the word “culture.” In student ministry circles, we talk about building cultures. We all know that we want a culture of transformation or a culture of this or that. The question is, do we understand what we are talking about? Or better yet, do we have any idea how to build culture? In reality, culture is actually very simple. Culture is the structure of how we live together. Our societal culture is the structure of how our society functions together. In student ministry, culture is simply the structure that facilitates how we function together as a group.

It is possible to build a culture or change an existing culture. However, the path to culture change doesn’t begin with an impassioned speech or a new decorating scheme. Culture changes begins with structure. If you want a culture of discipleship through relationship then you need a structure that promotes and facilitates relationships.

So what exactly do we mean when we say structure? That’s a great question. I’ll unpack the sort of structure that unleashes relationship over the next few days.

image credited to gaspi*yg via Flickr

The Best Youth Group Game Ever!

Recently, an all-star couple who serve in our student ministry discovered a great game and passed it on to us. It’s called Kahoot. Essentially, it’s the same type of trivia game that you play in restaurants like BW3s except that you can create your own quizzes and surveys with graphics and text.

The way that it works is you create a quiz beforehand and then students log into kahoot.it through their mobile devices. All they have to do is create a username and enter the pin # Kahoot gives you when you create the game. And, of course, you can instantly boot that annoying kid who creates an obscene username. I see you Amandahugandkiss!

We’ve been experimenting with the game for a few weeks and love it. Last week, we used it in our large group setting for the first time, we were able to explain the game, have students log in, and play the game in 5 minutes.

We are in a teaching series called Selfie where all the imagery is build around social media, so our Kahoot game was “Name that App.” We showed the logo for 11 different apps and students had a few seconds to pick the correct answer out of four options. Our students and volunteers loved it! After each question, the game tells you what place you are in and on the main screen it lists the top five players. It’s basically the best game ever.

If you are a teacher, youth worker, give presentations or have a ginormous family you should totally check it out. According to Kahoot’s site, 500 people have played at once and it can accommodate many more. You can use it for surveys or quizzes and anyone with a device that can connect to the internet can play. It’s so much fun! I can’t wait to try it as part of a presentation.

If you have a genius youth group game, I’d love to hear about it. Let’s be real, finding great games is one of the most annoying parts of student ministry. None of us have time to search the web for hours! If you’re fresh out of game ideas, feel free to stop by my friend Jon’s game site: youthgroupgames.org

Why You Need to Go to the Orange Conference

Last week, I traveled to Atlanta with a few members of our Family Ministries team to join 6000 others for the Orange Conference. As a student pastor, I’ve been to a lot of student ministry and family ministry conferences. In my opinion, this was the best. If you serve students or children, you need to go next year. Here’s why.

1. Food Trucks

Everyone knows that the most important thing about conferences, or life for that matter is food. Maybe I’m a little obsessed but I love great food. Spice, flavor, combinations and ethnic touches dazzle my palate. One of the things I love about Orange is that they bring in food trucks–seriously, one of the smartest inventions of all time. Also, I love sitting around the table with people I care about or want to learn from, sharing a meal and talking about ministry and strategy.

2. Laughter

Ministry is a sloppy bucket of stress. Particularly at this time of year, we’re all slightly to moderately frazzled.

“Did you just stick your finger in an electric socket or maybe hug a nuclear warhead?”

“Nope. Just finished small group.”

“Cool.”

Orange brought an insane amount of comedy this year. At times, I was crying because I was laughing so hard. I woke in the morning with sore abs. This may have more to do with sloth than comedy…Either way, thanks for the ab workout.

3. Value

Sadly, not every work environment or church values creativity and artistic expression. One of the things I love about reThink and the Orange Conference is a high value on creativity and art. They understand the work it takes to write good curriculum, produce quality videos and create engaging programs. It’s more art than science for sure. It’s a lovely feeling to be told over and over again that the work we do matters. Also, I saw a bunch of ideas that I’ve already begun stealing. Don’t tell anyone.

4. Collaboration

The thing I love the most about reThink is that they elevate the local church. They are constantly looking for ways to connect people like me with other youth workers who serve in similar contexts or think about ministry in the same ways. Through my new friend Jeremy at reThink, I met a bunch of youth workers at Orange. I’m pumped to engage these men and women in conversation about how exactly we do this work God has called us to. I love collaboration.

5. Shared Wisdom

For me, the best moment of Orange was Andy Stanley and Reggie Joiner demonstrating how to talk to middle school students about same sex attraction. This is obviously a conversation in which many churches have dropped the ball. The mantra I walked away with is this: “We believe the church should be the safest place for students experiencing same sex attraction.” I’m in for struggling toward this goal.

6. Strategy

I could talk strategy all night. Specifically, I love to sit around with student ministry workers and discuss how to do what we do better. I love to dream, evaluate, fret, deconstruct, and tinker with concepts and practices. The Orange Conference is an excellent place to do this.

7. Restoration

I’ll be honest, I limped into the Orange Conference this year. It’s been a beast of a year. I’m in a new and challenging role, we opened high school ministry on a new campus, hired 4 new staff, battled through the worst winter in recent history (which translated into numerous cancellations and a momentum free fall). A week ago, a ll I really wanted was June because June means the ministry regular season is over. And yet, somehow, someway, through food trucks, laughter, imparted value, collaboration, shared wisdom, and strategery sessions, I’m back in the ring itching for a fight. I’ve fallen back in love with my work, my team and the struggle of passing on faith to the next generation.

Here’s to you reThink for an “eptastic” week. And for the rest of you, let’s meet up in Atlanta next April.

static hair photo credited to Jeff Latimer via Flickr

How to Survive Ministry Exhaustion

Tuesday night is my free evening. My wife attends a bible study and after I put the kids to bed I can do whatever I want. It’s a beautiful thing. It’s a perfect opportunity to write, relax and recharge. But tonight, I’m eating Cool Whip right out of the tub and playing a video game that isn’t that great. The Cool Whip isn’t even thawed. I just pulled it out of the freezer and started eating it. It tastes good, like a cloud of sugar–one of those big fluffy clouds that patrol the sky on hot summer days.

It strikes me, as I sit here, mindlessly eating frozen Cool Whip, that I am, in fact, eating frozen Cool Whip. What am I doing? Then I realize that my shoulder hurts because I’ve been sitting in an awkward position eating Cool Whip and playing a lame video game for hours. Yes, I’m embarrassed to say, hours. Why am I spending my free evening so mindlessly? This is what strikes me as I sit with an aching shoulder and a developing stomach ache. I’d like a redo on my Tuesday night.

I’m tired. It’s April and our student ministry team has been steadily pouring ourselves out all year long. It’s been leading, writing, filming, counseling, editing, teaching, leading worship, traveling, mentoring, trouble-shooting, serving, setting up, tearing down, staying up late, getting up early, navigating crises, training, calming down parents, prodding parents, meeting deadlines, reviewing, confronting, encouraging, intervening, worrying, producing, acting, and managing on repeat since late last summer. I’m tired–very tired. When I look around our office during our team meetings I can see the weariness in all of our faces. It’s been a great season of ministry but we are all coasting to the finish line like cars running on fumes, praying we make it to the gas station at the next exit. Will we make it? I think so. I hope so.

My suspicion is that I’m not alone. We’re all tired. If you are a youth worker, you are exhausted. Maybe you thought it was just you. You aren’t alone.

I remember, early in my career, at the end of a season like this, thinking that maybe I wasn’t cut out for student ministry. Maybe the profound exhaustion I feel is an indicator that this line of work isn’t for me. Maybe you feel that way. Maybe you don’t like people right now. Maybe you feel like hiding. Maybe all you can think about is summer with less programming and more sand and sun. Maybe you ate Cool Whip out of the tub last night. This doesn’t mean you aren’t cut out for student ministry. It simply means that you’re tired.

The danger here is that tired doesn’t fix itself. Tired people become exhausted people. Exhausted people burnout. Youth workers who are called, gifted and wired for student ministry run out of steam and drop out of the game all the time. I’m realizing that when I catch myself eating Cool Whip out of the tub it’s time for a day off. It’s time to delegate a responsibility, cancel a meeting or schedule something that I love. That’s why I’m going to quit early tomorrow night and play beach volleyball with a few friends.

Are you tired? Been eating Cool Whip? Please take a step back and rest. Go do something you love and recharge your batteries. Your students need you–fully energized and engaged. You were called, gifted and wired to do this. Stay in the game.

Mentoring Casts a Long Shadow

Melissa was the quietest girl in my group. She had dark hair and beautiful blue eyes. Once her grandma, who picked her up and brought her to our church each week, pulled me aside in the hallway and asked, “Could you keep a special eye on Melissa? Things are really rough at home right now.”

Melissa wasn’t one of the girls who would run up and give me a hug when I walked in the room. She wasn’t bouncing up and down, just dying to tell me about the prank they had just played on the boys. Melissa would just give me a shy smile. She hung back. She didn’t say much during our discussion and prayer time.

But in her eyes I saw a hunger for more. She was hurting. She was looking for hope.

By spring, the girls in my group had earned enough points (by memorizing verses, doing their quiet time sheets, and attending regularly) for a party at my house. We decided to have an Orange Party—which meant we would wear orange clothes, eat orange food, and do an orange scavenger hunt in my neighborhood.

After an orange-filled afternoon, I pulled the girls into a huddle on the floor in my basement, and told them the story of Jesus dying on the cross and rising again. It wasn’t the first time I had told it. It wasn’t the first time they had heard it. But for two girls, it was the first time the story overlapped with their stories.

Melissa was one of those girls. I remember the sweet intensity of her prayer, as she asked Jesus to save her from her sin and be her Lord. And I remember her smile afterward—those big blue eyes sparkling.

I moved away shortly after this, and I didn’t hear from Melissa for about fifteen years. Then, last summer, she sent me a message via facebook.

Melissa was a young mom now. Life hadn’t been easy. She was expecting her third baby, and she wasn’t married. And even though she hadn’t made the best choices, she wanted to come back to God. She was reaching out to me because she knew I could help. And it’s been my great delight to do so!

As we’ve reconnected, I’ve silently wondered why Melissa thought to reach out to me. We live in different states now. We probably wouldn’t have recognized each other on the street. And there probably are Christians whose paths cross with Melissa’s.

I’ve thought about several other girls, too, who have reconnected with me over the years. One girl was in my cabin at a summer camp. Eight years after I led her to Jesus at camp, she was struggling with suicidal thoughts. So she looked up my address and wrote me a letter, asking me to pray.

Another girl contacted me via facebook, just after she got married. She said that she had just packed the little book mark I gave her in middle school. The bookmark’s glow-in-the-dark cross didn’t glow anymore, but it had been on her nightstand for years, reminding her of the things I had taught her about God. She said, “If you hadn’t been there… I really think my life could have gone another way.” She just wanted to write and say thanks.

To each of these girls, I somehow represented a time that their eyes were opened to Jesus. I’m the one who got to put their hands in His.

This is what youth ministry is all about! Putting their hands in His. We only have a few moments to walk with them. Pretty soon, they’ll be walking away from our church, our youth ministry, our influence. Will they walk with Jesus?

lf we never ask that question, I doubt whether mentoring will truly happen. If we don’t dream about who are kids are becoming and where they are going in life, we’ll be content to eat orange food, wear orange clothes, and call it a day of youth ministry.

But on the other hand, true mentoring casts a long shadow. When we care enough to cross over into our kids’ lives, we can make a difference that extends into the coming decades and ultimately crosses into eternity. We can bring little blue eyed girls like Melissa with us to heaven.

Shannon Popkin is so thankful for the 10+ years that she got to serve in various capacities of youth ministry. Nowadays, she focuses on ministering to the three kids who constantly fill both her laundry baskets with dirty clothes, and her heart with joy. Shannon and her husband Ken have been married for almost eighteen years, and they are so thankful for the support they get from Ada Bible’s Lifeline (youth group) in raising their kids to know and love God.

As a writer and speaker, Shannon loves to encourage women to put their hope in God. Check out her blog, Tiny Paragraphs, at www.shannonpopkin.com.

photo credited to iamdogjunkie via Flickr

Why Small Groups Aren’t Enough

I recently realized that small groups in our student ministry aren’t working. I found this insight surprising because I’m a huge fan of small groups. In fact, I spent the last 5 years as the small groups pastor of our high school ministry. I’m still a huge proponent of small groups but I’ve realized that they aren’t enough. Unless these groups lead to something deeper we aren’t giving our student what they truly need.

What I’ve learned over the last decade of ministry is that in a culture that is largely void of adult support and care what our students need more than anything is mentors. Our students need caring adults to show them how to live and follow Jesus. They need a constant force of love, support and coaching. That is what a mentor does. I still believe that small groups are important but only if they lead to mentoring.

Perhaps the most important benefit of a mentor is that the mentoring relationship continues after students graduate out of our ministries. I am convinced that long-term mentoring relationships are the most important thing we can offer a student. So how do we facilitate mentoring? The good news is that if your student ministry is based on small groups you already possess the framework for mentoring relationships. Here are some thoughts on transforming your small group ministry into a mentoring ministry.

GET OUTSIDE

If a small group only exists within the walls of the church building or the home in which they meet then I would argue that it’s not mentoring. Mentoring takes place within the normal contexts of life. Mentoring happens when a caring adult invites a student into his or her life. Mentoring happens when adults invade the turf of students. So, if we want to see mentoring in our student ministries then we must literally get into the lives and students and invite them into ours. And, we must equip and train our volunteers to do the same.

RECRUIT DIFFERENTLY

A mentoring based student ministry requires that we make a shift in volunteer recruiting. For the first half of my career I concentrated on recruiting the coolest, youngest, most relevant volunteers I could find. My thinking was that I needed volunteers who would attract students and relate well to them. While I still think that relevance is important and cool is extraordinarily helpful, there is only so much mentoring a young, hip college student can offer a high school student. Mentoring requires experience. I now believe we ought to recruit volunteers who have life experience because they possess more of the tools required of a mentor. I want a volunteer who has the wisdom and life experience necessary to address some of the heavier issues facing teens.

Mentoring, at it’s most basic level is this: “Watch what I do and do it.” Because of this we also need volunteers whose lives that are worth copying. We need people of character and strong faith. Character and life experience trump age and coolness.

RESTRUCTURE

A volunteer only has so much time in a week. If you’re already asking your volunteers for two events a week (youth group night and small groups night) you may need to restructure your ministry. I believe that the best strategy is to attach small groups to your large group programming and cut the extra night of programming. This way all of your students get plugged into small groups and secondly, it frees your volunteers up for mentoring outside of the ministry structure. I truly believe that outside mentoring is more valuable than another night of programming. Feel free to disagree.

CHANGE YOUR FOCUS

How many students can one person mentor? Truthfully, it’s probably around 3 or 4. This means that we need more volunteers! It also means that youth pastors needs to change their focus. Mentoring is simple and yet terribly draining. Mentors are constantly pouring themselves out so they need someone to pour into them. I would argue that the role of a youth pastor needs to shift toward caring for and mentoring mentors. If the best thing our student ministries can offer a student is a long-term mentor then the primary role of the youth pastor may need to shift toward recruiting, training and encouraging godly mentors.

It’s my belief that small groups aren’t working anymore because students desperately need adult mentors. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this especially if you’ve found success in promoting mentoring relationships in your student ministry.

image credited to Matt Peoples via Flickr

Free Teaching Series

Who doesn’t love free stuff? Especially when that free stuff involves doing less work?

We recently did a teaching series called Gravity that I loved. It’s a series about boundaries. In the series we taught on boundaries with sexuality, media, friends and time. In my opinion, the series was awesome enough that you should use it in your student ministry.

Here’s the title package…

While we’re at it, here are all the teaching scripts…

And here’s a link to title slides, blank slides, and the title package.

Feel free to borrow/steal this material and let me know if you found it helpful.

Stuff I Learned from a Guy who Eats Bugs

John the Baptist was a weird dude. He broke all the rules on how to build a platform or create a following. Essentially, he dressed weird, ate weirder, neglected his hair and alienated everyone off with his abrasive speaking style. And yet, he created a huge following and Jesus himself said that there has never been a greater man.

I’ve been spending a lot of time thinking about this strange bug eating man from the desert and I guess if you’re reading this you’ve been roped into my musings.

I’M NOT THE MESSIAH

One of the things that strikes me about John the Baptist is that he knew exactly who he was. He fully understood his role in God’s mission in the world. He was making a splash with his ministry (get it?) and the religious leaders from Jerusalem were impressed enough to send out a delegation to see who exactly he was and what he was up to. Here’s how it went down:

This was John’s testimony when the Jewish leaders sent priests and Temple assistants from Jerusalem to ask John, “Who are you?” He came right out and said, “I am not the Messiah.

John knew what he was about. He was quick to point out that this wasn’t the “John show.” We wasn’t building a platform for John. He was building a platform for Jesus. He wasn’t the Messiah and he wasn’t about to try on the Messiah sandals.

PLAYING SAVIOR

It might sound dumb but I wish I had that degree of clarity in the early days of my student ministry career. Go ahead and judge me but there have been times in which I acted like I thought I was the Messiah. What I mean is that when serving a troubled student or a kid going through a rough time I have started to believe that what they needed was me.

The truth is that it feels good to be the spiritual “go-to” person. It feels validating to be a student’s rock in the midst of a family storm. It feels nice to be the person that students come to for wisdom and advice.

It’s a very subtle thing but I think it’s easy to cross a line here. It’s so natural for student ministry to become about you. The students like your teachings. The group is beginning to take on your style. Look, I’m not accusing you of anything. I’m simply drawing attention to a mistake that I made and hoping you don’t fall into the same trap.

How do you know you’ve crossed this line? How do you know when you’ve placed yourself in the role of “Messiah?” I believe it is when students struggle without you. If your students go off to college and fall off the map spiritually it may be because you inserted yourself into a “Messiah” role. If you leave your church for a new position or a change in career and your students falter spiritually it may be that you crossed a line and took on a role not designed for you.

The truth is that we live in a celebrity driven culture and it’s easy to fall into the same model in our churches and student ministries. There is immense value in influence and the authority of pastors and youth workers, but the point is Jesus—not us. Jesus has the power to heal, to transform hearts and to bring light to the darkness. We are his ambassadors but like John, the story isn’t about us. We aren’t the Messiah.

John was quick, incredibly quick to shine the spotlight on Jesus. I want to learn to do the same. My dream is that my students would be drawn to Jesus rather than me. My hope is that they would continue to pursue Jesus whether or not I’m in their life. Why? Because I’m not the Messiah.

image credited to bobzee666

Category: Student Ministry