Category: Student Ministry

Warning: Youth Ministry Will Wreck Your Personality

iStock_000011929864SmallBack in the day I was incredibly outgoing.  I was the life of the party.  You could always count on me to be fun, zany, happy and more than a little obnoxious.  In high school I was that guy who could mix with any social group and was liked by pretty much everyone.

Anyway, the point is back in high school and college I was an extrovert.   Every personality test I ever took confirmed this.  If you are a DISC person, I was a high “I.”  If you’re into that weird animal personality test, I was an otter.

Here’s the thing, after a decade in student ministry, I can tell you with absolute certainty that I am no longer an extrovert.  How do I know?  Crowds, conversations, entertaining—they all drain me.  Malls?  Don’t even ask.  When I need to recharge I want a good book, a coffee shop and ear buds.  Side Note:  if you see me in Starbucks with aforementioned items feel free to smile and wave…nothing more please.

So what happened? I’m not exactly sure.  All I know is that we were on a mission trip, there were too many freshmen boys and I torched a kid’s Elmo doll (true story).  Or maybe it’s a decade of being the funny guy, the conversation initiator; the salesman of our ministry to volunteers and parents, the counselor to far too many broken kids and the defender of a couple too many mistakes to bewildered bosses and board members.  Whatever it was, student ministry has literally knocked the extrovert out of me.  I am an ex-extrovert.

At first I panicked because with thoughts like, “I don’t really like people anymore” I wondered if maybe it was time for a career change.  I floundered for a while but in the last year, I have fully embraced my new personality.  At first it was a little embarrassing but now I am an introvert and proud of it.  I no longer feel guilty about wanting to be alone or feeling anxiety about initiating conversations with people I don’t know.  Don’t blame me, I’m an introvert.  Don’t hate!  I’m just better suited to a book and a coffee shop.

I’ve learned that being an introvert has some advantages.  Here’s a few:

  • All this newfound alone time has gifted me with space to think creatively and strategically—which I love to do.
  • Introverts don’t over plan the student ministry calendar which leads to more volunteer freedom and less burn out.
  • Introverts don’t pass out cheesy evangelism tracts or preach judgment on street corners.
  • As an introvert my filter is much stronger.  Based on quantifiable research I now say 50% less dumb stuff.

So what about you?  Are you feeling worn down?  Running on fumes?  Maybe student ministry has knocked the extrovert out of you.  Maybe you too are an ex-extrovert.  I suspect that there are a bunch of us in student ministry.  Fear not, this doesn’t mean you can’t do extroverted stuff it just means that you need to understand that extroverted tasks will drain you and you’ll need to schedule times to recharge.

Has anyone else experienced this?  I’ve love to hear your thoughts.  Maybe we can start a support group…never mind, that would be weird.

Building a Fan Base for Your Student Ministry

I learned early on in my student ministry career how important it is to have a strong fan base.  And, I’m not talking about students.  I can’t overstate how valuable it is to have zealous adult fans—particularly adults who have influence within your church.  When you do something dumb like leave a kid at winter retreat (in my defense he was extraordinarily short) or when it comes time to convince your senior pastor that you need a ginormous new student building, having a group of fans who will go to bat for you is a huge advantage.  So, how do you build a strong fan base?  Here are a few ideas.

 

A Trustworthy Brand Creates Fans

We love brands because in a fast moving and ever changing culture, good brands consistently deliver trustworthy products.  Once we decide which brands represent who we are, most of us stay incredibly committed for life.  This is because we can trust Apple or Starbucks or Nike to consistently deliver products and experiences that wow us.

In our student ministry we attempt to capitalize on the reality of our consumer driven culture by building a trustworthy brand.  The biggest part of this is delivering consistently great experiences.  We want our students to know that they will experience hilarious videos, high quality worship music, an engaging teaching and small groups led by adults who care about them and are interested in their lives.  By design, we don’t attempt to do much more than this.  By keeping our structure simple and delivering a high quality “product” week after week we build trust in our brand and by extension a stronger fan base

 

Happy Volunteers Become Zealous Fans

I am convinced that the smartest thing you can do as a student ministry leader is invest in volunteers more than students.  If your volunteers are well trained, well cared for and serving in ways that are meaningful and life giving, they will become huge fans.  I’m talking about the kind of fans that will storm the field after a win and throw obnoxiously gross stuff at the ref when he blows a call.  If you think about it, you want both celebratory passion and angsty (just invented that word) passion on your side.

If your volunteers love serving in your ministry, not only will they amplify your ministry’s effectiveness but when they move on to other volunteering opportunities, or parenthood or whatever, they will continue as lifelong fans of your ministry.  Translation: That 22 year old volunteer will becomes a 35 year old board member who shows up for the budget meeting with your ministry’s logo painted on his bare chest, carrying a placard reading, “Mo Money! for [insert your ministry’s name].”  And isn’t that the kind of passionate fans we want in our corner?

 

Happy Parents Become Zealous Fans

Unfortunately, we as student pastors have a reputation for being screw offs.  What I mean is that we are more likely to get a chuckle and a roll of the eyes than a nod of respect.  This isn’t really a good thing when it comes to building a fan base.

Parents can be powerful allies and fearsome enemies.  I don’t have to explain this because you already know.  Here’s the thing, when you understand what parents want and play to their desires, 90% of parents will become zealous fans.  Don’t worry about the 10%, they are crazy.

Anyway, what is it that parents want?  Trustworthiness.  They want pastors, small group leaders, and an overall ministry structure that they can trust.  What builds trust?  Consistency—Consistent communication, a consistent schedule, consistent behavior from small group leaders, consistent responses to questions and concerns , consistent, consistent, consistent.  Parenting a teenager is a big ol’ bucket o’ chaos.  When we offer an oasis of consistency and trustworthiness, parents are very likely to jump on the student ministry bandwagon and when parents are happy they become zealous fans.

I know there is much more to be said about building a student ministry fan base, but this is a bit of what I’ve learned.  I’d love to hear a few of your ideas.