Student Ministry | Aaron Buer

1 Practice That Could Transform Your Student Ministry

Most of us would agree that volunteers, particularly small group leaders are absolutely crucial to a strong student ministry. A healthy, mentoring relationship with a caring adult is the one thing we can offer a student that they can’t get anywhere else. It’s is imperative that our small group leaders are amazing! Why is it, then, that we often invest so little in our small group leaders? They ought to be our number one priority.

Years ago, our student ministry team stumbled upon a practice that has transformed our student ministry. I honestly believe that our volunteer team is stronger than any I’ve seen anywhere else and our strength is built upon one simple practice that any student ministry can implement. It’s so simple, easy and cheap that I can’t figure out why more student ministries don’t embrace it. What is it? Cloning. You take your best volunteers and you simply clone them. It’s genius! OK, not really. I mean that would be cool, but that’s not what I’m talking about. Read on.

The super secret amazing practice that we stumbled upon is an hour long, weekly leader meeting, at the beginning of our programming. Seriously, that’s it. Every week, whether we are at one of our church campuses or in homes, the night begins with an hour long leader meeting that includes 4 components: food, community, instructions and training.

FOOD

Including our leader meeting, our typical night of high school programming lasts for 3 hours. You can’t ask volunteers for 3 hours without feeding them! Besides, food is always a great way to say thank-you and it is foundational for building community, which is what we’re all about.

COMMUNITY

We believe that small group leaders are at their best when they serve as a community. Weekly leader meetings have helped us build quality community. Here’s how it works: each volunteer is placed in a team of volunteers–usually 8-10 people. This team always sits together at every leader meeting. Our goal is that this team would function like a small group. Eating a meal together every week greatly contributes to the family culture that we’re attempting to build. We firmly believe that in order to build real community you need consistency and time. A weekly leader meeting that includes a meal ensures that both components happen on a weekly basis..

INSTRUCTIONS

In order for a great night of student ministry to happen, all the key players need to be on the same page. The third component of our weekly leader meetings is instructions. This part is easy and most student ministries already do this. We usually take about 5 minutes to walk through the night and make sure everyone knows what to expect, the goals, and the roles they need to fill. One important point is that all of our volunteers and staff already know what will happen before our leader meeting because they (hopefully!) read our leader blog.

TRAINING

In my experience, most student ministries are somewhere between poor and terrible at training their volunteers. It’s difficult to find time and training events are often poorly attended. What if, instead of 2 or 3 training events throughout the year, you did 30 minutes of training every week? If your student ministry only meets during the school year, like ours, you still get 16 hours of training (32 weeks x 30 minutes of training). And how much do you really think volunteers retain from a 1 or 2 hour training event? Weekly 30 minute trainings are the way to go! We love this model.

So, what do we train them on? All kinds of stuff! We talk about small group leading practices, our philosophy of ministry, how to handle crisis situations, how to talk about sexuality with a students, we invite our best small group leaders to share their best practices, we talk about how to partner with parents, how to do a one-on-one meeting with out being weird…basically, we train them on everything! We find this training time to be incredibly valuable because we know that our student ministry is only as strong as our volunteers. Let’s put it this way: discipleship in your student ministry will only be as effective as your disciplers.

So there you have it–one practice that could transform your student ministry. It’s all about elevating your volunteers through an intentional weekly volunteer meeting. What do you think?

pizza image credited to rdpeyton via Flickr

Lego image credited to Nick Royer via Flickr

Chalkboard image credited to Jeff Warren via Flickr

Planting Dormant Seeds

I recently met up with a friend from high school. This was a guy I shared Jesus with 18 years ago. We were juniors in high school (yes, I’m that old). At the time, he was receptive to the Gospel and I did my best to disciple him. He joined my church’s youth group and we even formed a little rogue small group on the side. He was full of passion and questions. As often happens to high school friends, we grew apart when we moved away to college. At first we talked periodically and then lost touch for many years.

Fast forward the tape 17 years, and I found myself sitting across from this old friend at Starbucks, listening to him narrate the tale of his life. It hasn’t been a smooth journey. He made a mess of things–very nearly destroying his family and himself. And yet, in the midst of his destructive behavior, he couldn’t get away from Jesus. He couldn’t get away from the conversations we had in high school, 17 years ago. The seeds that were planted simply wouldn’t die.

To use his own words, he wasted many years of his life running from God and living for himself, but in the end, when his eyes were finally opened to the train-wreck he was headed for, he returned to Jesus. He confessed his betrayals and sins to his wife and friends and by grace they responded with forgiveness and accountability. Now, a few years beyond this breaking point in his life, he is thriving in his faith. He’s engaged with a good church and he and his wife are working through marriage counseling. He told me that finally, after two years, they’ve graduated to monthly sessions.

What amazed me about this story was the time it took for this prodigal to come home. It took years for the dormant seeds that were planted to grow. There’s a lot of life that happens over 17 years! How often I’ve assumed that a student is done with Jesus after only one 1 or 2 years of wandering. How many times have I been wrong? How many times did I give up too soon?

As a student pastor, I constantly remind myself and our volunteer small group leaders that student ministry is a long-term investment. This conversation at Starbucks was a taste of my own medicine. We can’t predict how the words of grace that we speak, on behalf of Jesus, will play out in the lives of those we invest in. Mentoring a teenager in faith is incredibly powerful, but we often can’t predict how long it will take for our words to take root. In the case of my friend, it was 17 years.

I can’t help but wonder how my friend’s journey might have been different if we had stayed connected. How much pain could have been avoided if someone had been speaking love and truth into his life during his wandering? We must find ways to stay connected and invested in the lives of our students in life beyond high school.

Sometimes the seeds we plant will remain dormant for years, sometimes for decades, but the planting of these seeds matters. What we as student pastors, volunteers, small group leaders, parents, teachers and mentors say and do in the lives of students is hugely important. Don’t give up. Don’t quit. Never write a student off. We never know when seeds are lying dormant, waiting for the right conditions or stresses to spring to life.

image credited to Rex Boggs via Flickr

The 1 Thing You Have That Trumps Culture

Recently, I attended the Orange Tour at Woodside Bible Church in Troy, MI. BTWs, if you haven’t been to the Orange Tour, it is a great one day experience. We took our entire family ministries team and loved it! And, Woodside Bible is a pretty cool church who I enjoy talking with because, like us, they are a large church attempting to figure out multi-sites.

Anyway, while I was at the Orange Tour, Reggie Joiner said something that has stuck with me. When he said it, I wanted to stand up and shout, “YES!” but I didn’t because I got scared. I didn’t come from one of those church backgrounds where people yell amen at the preacher or even clap. We grunted or perhaps nodded. Well, now I’m off-track.

So, let me paraphrase what Reggie said: We, in student ministry, often get caught up in the flash and bang of programming and environment. We focus on great videos, lighting, sound, games, and musicians. We tend to believe that these things will attract people.

Many of us, who don’t have access to the massive budgets of mega churches, feel that we can’t compete with the larger churches. They have their fancy youth centers, production engineers, and arena-quality auditoriums. If the flash and bang of programming and environment is what attracts students, then smaller churches might as well close up shop, right?

But, the truth is that none of us, mega or small, can compete with what people see on TV, YouTube or the theater. Our culture will always win in a war of technology and entertainment. Whether you are a mega church of 20,000 or a country bumpkin church of 50, you cannot consistently beat culture in a game of who is more technologically or artistically innovative.

There is, however, one way in which culture can never beat us. There is one thing that we provide that students cannot get anywhere else in our culture, and that is caring, spiritually mature adults who consistently love students and invest in them. It’s all about relationships. The vast majority of kids don’t have adults in their lives who are consistently there for them, whose motives are not exploitative in any way. These relationships are where we can win, and this is why a small student ministry can be every bit as effective as a meg church student ministry.

Here’s how to do it:

1. Recruit and Equip Pastors

Students have plenty of adults in their lives. It’s not that we just need more nice adults. What we need are pastors. We need adults who are spiritual mature who have the capacity and desire to walk alongside students and mentor them in faith. In our ministry, the small group leaders are the pastors. They are the ones who shepherd the students.

To be clear, this requires and immense amount of training, community and coaching. We imbed our small group leaders in community, train them on a bi-weekly basis and constantly meet with them for coffee along the way to encourage and guide them. The truth is, our staff invests far more in our volunteers than our students. This is one of the secret ingredients for growth in student ministry.

2. Think Long-Term

The kind of shepherding relationship we’re talking about doesn’t happen overnight. It takes years to develop. Most students don’t have adults in their lives who are consistently there for them so it takes a long time to build trust. We ask our middle school leaders to lead for 3 years and our high school leaders to lead for 5 (4 years in high school and 1 year beyond). The depth of relationship we are talking about here takes a long-term investment. You have to fight for longevity.

We’ve achieved longevity because our staff stick around forever and because we’ve created a culture in which the kind of adults who are want hate leaving. Give your volunteers the same depth of community and shepherding that students crave.

3. Focus on the Conversation

If relationships are the one way we can beat culture every time, then our entire focus should be on the conversation. Every event should be about groups and groups should be the focal point of all your programming. For us, the focus isn’t worship or even the teaching. It’s small group time. The teaching always points to a conversation that leaders have been prepared for. On retreats, mission trips and camps, small groups experience these things together. It’s all about the conversation.

So, whether you are a student ministry of 10 or 10,000, relationships are where we can win. We can offer students something incredible powerful and magnetic: a relationship with a caring adult who loves them and wants to invest in their lives. If you’d like to learn more on how to develop a student ministry like this. This is the book for you: Creating a Lead Small Culture.

photo credited to David Pacey via Flickr

Why We Meet in Homes

Our student ministry meets in homes every other week. Crazy I know. Twice a month, we sacrifice epic large group programming and cram our students and small group leaders in regional homes. We sacrifice the awesome band, stage lighting, world class teacher (me of course!), stage, convenience, latte maker and everything else. Why would we do such a crazy thing? Because, the payoff is tremendous. I’m telling you that this model is a secret weapon that the rest of the student ministry world needs to wake up to!

Here’s a video we recently made for our parents to explain why we do this crazy thing. Check it out.

Why we do House (formerly called Cell Family) from Lifeline Student Ministries on Vimeo.

Come with Me to the Orange Conference!

I want to tell you about one of my favorite things in the world: The Orange Conference. Over the last few years, this experience has been one of the highlights. Ministry is exhausting. Whether you are on staff or a volunteer, pouring your life into the next generation is exhilarating and exhausting. The Orange Conference is one of those experiences that recharges my batteries and my passion.

Let me tell you what happens to me when I attend Orange: I laugh hysterically. I reconnect with God in meaningful ways. I cry over the hurt and rejection students experience. I think deeply over ministry strategy. I worship without distraction. I appreciate our volunteers in new ways. I connect with other ministry leaders who think like me. I eat amazing food! I develop new friendships with student pastors all over the country. And, most importantly, I always leave rejuvenated, recharged, reimpassioned (just made that one up), reanimated and reconnected.

Here’s a video to prove that I’m not just making stuff up.

The Orange Conference 2014: Highlights from Orange on Vimeo.

If you are a student ministry or kids ministry person, I would love for you to check out this conference. It’s the best out there. Registration is open and the super duper early bird price is still available until October 9. Check it out: The Orange Conference 2015.

What I Learned in Costa Rica

As I write this, I’m chilling in San Jose, Costa Rica. I’m here hanging out with Young Life staff, learning about their ministry in Central America. I’ve only been here a few days but I’ve been blown away. I love listening to ministry leaders talk about how God is moving–listening to their strategies and war stories. Here’s what I’ve picked up from Vida Joven.

Let God Drive Your Vision

These people pray and listen with intentionality. At one point, I heard someone say, we’ve been praying about this opportunity for ten years and God is just now opening up a way. 10 years? That is persistence!

Every leader I’ve talked with naturally articulates a posture of obedient following. They believe that God has given them a vision that stretches their personal and organizational capacities. They know what they are called to do, where they are called to do it and they work tirelessly to make it happen. It’s amazing to see.

To be honest, this focus is a challenge for me. I wonder if I spend enough time praying and listening, really trying to capture where God is moving.

A Clear Mission is Fuel

Every person I talked with on the Young Life team was buzzing with the same mission: We are called to disinterested teenagers, and our volunteer leaders are the pastors of these kids. When everyone is aligned with the mission, amazing things happen. A clear mission is like fuel. It propels you forward and ignites effective ministry.

Ministry is Always About Empowering People

What I love about the Young Life method is their focus on leader development. So many of the leaders I talked with were formerly students in the Young Life program. I love the emphasis of identifying leadership potential and then pouring into those people with relational energy and discipleship. It’s almost like it’s biblical or something…

Futbal is different here.

One of the highlights of this trip so far, has been a Costa Rican Premier League soccer match. I never really played soccer, although I do enjoy FIFA 15. Anyway, the crowd was small because of rain but the rowdies were insane. Those people never stop jumping, singing and shouting. One guy in particular banged on his drum the entire match. That’s like 3 hours! The devotion and passion of those fans was fun to watch.

There is a reason that Young Life is experiencing explosive growth in Central America. When a team comes together under a unified vision and mission and commits to listening to and following the Holy Spirit, amazing things happen. I loved seeing Costa Rican teenagers experience Young Life club. I loved seeing Young Life volunteer leaders pouring into these kids and pulling them into relationship with Jesus. What a fantastic ministry.

image credited to Charles Company Soler via Flickr

Tag Team

My friend Seth introduced me to WWF when we were in elementary school. I’m not talking about the World Wildlife Federation. I’m talking about classic wrestle mania–Hulk Hogan, Andre the Giant, Superfly Jimmy Snooka and Hacksaw Jim Dugan. Absolutely classic. Look, I know big time wrestling is a joke and terribly fake but when I was 9 I thought it was the greatest thing ever so just back off!

The best WWF wrestling matches were tag team matches because these superstar wrestlers would team up together and battle it out. When one guy would get cracked over the head with a chair, the other guy would step in a bail him out. That’s some friendship right there. We would watch that stuff for hours and then reenact it when it was over. We didn’t have DVR back then so you had to replay the action yourself.

I know it’s crazy but I’ve been thinking about tag team matches lately. You see, I’ve realized some things about myself. When I was in my early 20s, I basically thought I was awesome at just about every aspect of student ministry. Over the last few years I’ve come to see that I’m definitely not awesome at some areas of student ministry. It was a big step for me to admit that I’m not an A+ at everything. Maybe you can relate.

For the last 6 years I’ve worked closely with a co-worker and friend named Jon. Jon is essentially amazing at everything I’m terrible at and not so hot at some of the things I’m good at. We’re dead opposite in every way–gifting, wiring, personality, and guitar skills–he’s amazing and I suck unless there’s a capo involved.

What I’ve come to see is that together we are a pretty phenomenal team. When we are united, we’re good at everything we need to be good at. We are capable of high caliber leadership when we are on the same page. We’re like a good ole’ classic WWF tag team.

I’ve noticed that many strong leaders don’t work well with others. I’ve seen this sort of thing over and over in churches and businesses. Strong leaders usually possess a compelling vision, which is awesome and necessary, but often struggle to work well with or empower others. In addition, they often do not recognize or acknowledge where they are weak. The thing is: everyone is weak. None of us is gifted in every area. You might be a fabulous speaker but I bet you are a D+ at organization. You may be able to create amazing systems but I bet you struggle with envisioning the future. We are all finite and only capable of awesomeness in a few skills.

A breakthrough moment happened for me when I realized that together Jon and I could be an A+ leadership team but alone I would only be a B. It was a critical moment for me. Like most of us, I have aspirations of greatness. I want to do phenomenal work and build a successful student ministry but I’ve realized that I’m not capable of this on my own. I would rather work together and be great than work alone and be decent. Because of this, I’m all about tag team.

My guess is that there is someone in your professional or ministry environment like this. You have one set of strengths and weaknesses and they possess the opposite. There is potential for greatness in teamwork but the gatekeeper is humility. If you want to part of something great, realize that you’ll never get there on your own. The truth is, if you make everything about you, your organization will only be a strong as your weakest weakness. Tag team may just be the key to moving forward and accelerating toward greatness.

image credited to Greg O’Connell via Flickr

My Favorite Word: Collaboration

It’s taken me a long time to figure this out but I recently uncovered the secret sauce to great student ministry. Contrary to popular belief, it’s not a degree from a prestigious Christian university. It’s not great curriculum, a killer band or an epic student center. It’s not even hipster glasses. It’s collaboration.

I’ve realized over the last few years, as we’ve added more and more staff to our student ministry team, that what makes our student ministry programming great is teamwork. I consider myself to be a smart guy, a good curriculum writer and a solid youth pastor but our team consistently makes me and what I do better. When I write a new teaching series and feel that it’s really good, it always comes back from team edits with better wording, more vivid imagery and more focused application. The truth is, as much as I want to say I’m a great curriculum writer, what our team creates together is consistently better than what I produce on my own.

For our summer camp this year, I asked a few members of our team to create a worship experience for our students. I had personally done this the previous three years, and I thought what I produced was pretty awesome until I experienced the worship night our team created. It was phenomenal. It completely blew me away. Team is just better. Collaboration creates a stronger student ministry. Our programming, curriculum, trainings, events, trips…everything is better when our team collaborates. I’m completely sold on team. I’m done trying to be awesome on my own.

Here’s the thing: I understand that not everyone has the luxury of working on a large team, whether your field is student ministry or something else. However, that doesn’t mean you can’t have a team. Make one. If I could rewind the tape and go back to my first student ministry job, the first thing I would do is recruit a team. I would invite volunteers to edit my teaching scripts and critique film of my teachings. I would gather together with a group of local student pastors on a regular basis, study together and brainstorm ideas on how to do student ministry amazingly well.

I believe that one of the major weaknesses of student ministry across the nation is that youth workers are far too isolated from each other. There is so much we could learn from each other if we were willing to share and listen. Our students deserve and need great student ministry. Let’s move toward collaboration.

Lessons from Africa Part 3: Relationships

Earlier this summer, I co-led a team of students on a mission trip to Malawi, Africa. Here’s the third installment of what I learned:

LESSON 3: RELATIONSHIPS TRUMP EVERYTHING

Things move slowly in Africa. By that I don’t mean that Africa is backwards or inferior. What I mean is that conversations, business exchanges and encounters with people on the street move at a slower pace. You might say they linger.

I’ll be honest, there’s part of me that hates slow, and if I’m honest that part is the larger part of me. I’m very task oriented. I don’t like it when people trap me in conversation when I have places to go or things to do.

While we were in Malawi, the CURE hospital staff assigned us the task of redesigning and decorating a playroom for the children. We really enjoyed painting cartoon animals on the walls and creating a warm and embracing environment (when I say “we,” I mean the students who had artistic talent). However, in my estimation, the entire project took about three days longer than necessary. The reason was that every little decision had to be consulted by 19 different people.

“Have we decided on where to hang the TV?”

“Hello Aaron! How are you? How was your evening? Did you sleep well?” …15 minutes of conversation later…

“So, where should we hang the TV?”

“Well, we really need to consult with Joe because he is the one who leads the ministry with the kids.”

So, I go and find Joe.

“Hey Joe, where do you want to hang the TV?”

“Hello Aaron! How are you? [shakes my hand and then continues to hold my hand throughout the rest of the conversation] How was your night. Did you sleep well….” 15 minutes of conversation later,

“So, where should we hang the TV?”

“Well, we should consult so and so because of some random reason.”

For the record, we never actually hung the TV.

The funny thing is that the Malawians actually care about listening to everyone’s opinions and truly care about the questions they are asking you. And, if you don’t reciprocate the questions you are perceived as a jerk because you aren’t valuing the conversation and therefore the relationship. Which, if I’m honest, is probably true.

For crying out loud, even the peddlers in the market asked me how I was enjoying their country, told me their names, shook my hand for about 50 minutes as they inquired about my family all the while gently leading me to the stalls containing their mahogany wares.

I learned that Malawians value relationships more than anything else. When a Malawian invites you into their home, they literally wash your hands for you. In everything, task is secondary and relationship is first. So what if the playroom is behind schedule? We connected and cared for each other. That’s what friends do. And, if you’re wondering, the project was completed on time…ish.

Like I said, at first I hated the pace of everything but then we began to recognize the value of their way of life. When asked how she planned to change her life based on her experiences in Africa, one of our students explained that she planned to take time to actually answer her mom’s questions after school instead of spitting out a quick “Fine” before running to her room to watch Netflix. She realized that Malawians value relationships in ways that we as Americans don’t. That realization alone is probably worth the cost of the plane ticket

I can’t help but think that we, in the US, have some things to learn about listening, asking good questions, putting people first and valuing relationships. I’m attempting to slow down, listen a little more and value the relationships God has gifted me with. Just don’t interrupt me while I’m doing something or try to hold my hand while we talk…

Lessons from Africa 5: Love

LESSON FIVE: LOVE

I experienced something profound in Malawi. I treasure Jesus’ commandment, “Love one another.” I believe that it truly is the greatest commandment. It is the pinnacle of what Jesus embodied and taught.

I vividly remember an Andy Stanley sermon from the Orange Conference a few years ago, in which he stated that whenever the church leverages love it advances and whenever it leverages something other than love it gets off-course. I’ve observed the Church “leveraging something other than love” over and over again in American culture as churches align themselves politically or engage in cultural wars over various issues. It seems that we too often get sucked into leveraging “being right.”

This time, though, at a small hospital in Blantyre, Malawi, I observed the church leveraging love.

You see, I spent a week serving at CURE hospital. CURE International in an amazing organization. It is overtly Christian. It unabashedly promotes Jesus as Savior and King but it leverages this message through the gifts of physically healing children and treating people with dignity and respect.

CURE in Malawi employs several Muslims and they love working for CURE. There are prominent Muslim families who support CURE financially because they believe in their values and mission. Did you catch that? That just doesn’t happen! They donate their hard earned money to support an infidel hospital because it loves children so well.

Muslim families have become Christ-followers because CURE representatives came to their villages, professionally and relationally demonstrated how they could heal their child’s club foot or cleft palate, and then did so–caring for their family with dignity and love throughout the entire process.

Across the world, Islam and Christianity are at war. The news in Iraq is particularly disturbing. And yet, here is an overtly Christian organization in Africa, a region that has repeatedly been torn apart by religious wars, that employs, services and receives financial support from Muslims and in the process, has demonstrated the beauty and power of the Gospel in such a way that it has become compelling to Muslims. This is an incredible story and we have much to learn from it.

As Andy Stanley said at the Orange Conference, when we leverage love, the church grows and advances. What if we just loved? What if we simply served with no strings attached?

What if Christian organizations were the type of organizations that Muslims or, perhaps a better example in American culture, homosexuals wanted to work for them because they were treated so amazingly well? What if, because we loved homosexuals so well that Jesus became compelling? What if Christian organizations behaved so lovingly that Muslims or homosexuals willingly donated their hard earned money to supported their operations?

What if we simply loved people so tangibly and powerfully that they couldn’t help but notice our good deeds and worship Jesus? I think there’s something about that in the Bible…

image credited to Michiel Van Balen via Flickr

Category: Student Ministry