Tag: volunteers

Why Your Ministry Needs a Volunteer Retreat

Last weekend was our 17th annual volunteer retreat.  Ok, I actually have no idea how many retreats we’ve done but 17th annual has a nice ring to it.  Here’s the thing, of all the things we do in our student ministry, I believe that our volunteer retreat is in the top 3.  It’s crucial to our culture.  I can’t imagine not doing it next year and here’s why you should be putting one on too.

YOU NEED GREAT VOLUNTEERS

This year we set a new LifeLine record with 116 small groups so yes, we have a bunch of volunteers.  But here’s the thing, if you have more than 12 students, you need small groups and if you need small groups then you need volunteer leaders.  Not only do you need volunteers but you need great volunteers.  You need the kind of volunteers that you can trust to be spiritual shepherds to our students.  And, not only do you need great volunteers, you need great volunteers who will serve year after year because student ministry is a long-term investment.

So, how do you end up with great volunteers who stay engaged for the long-haul?  You invest in them.  A volunteer retreat is an incredible opportunity to invest deeply in your volunteers.  Here’s how it works.

VALUE

Here’s what I know:  volunteers who feel valued stay engaged in our ministry.  When volunteers understand, not only that we need them but that we enjoy them as people and value their individual gifting they tend to stick around.  We use our volunteer retreat to to create space for value conversations.  There is so much more that can be said on a weekend.

FUN

Volunteers who have a great time serving in student ministry tend to stay in student ministry.  If our volunteers are bored then we are seriously missing the mark.  We treat our volunteer retreat like a party.  Last weekend’s retreat included loud music, big prizes, crazy costumes, interactive games and hilarious videos.  If it isn’t fun you aren’t doing it right and your volunteers will likely go find someplace fun to serve.  Conversely, we’ve found that volunteers who have fun serving in our ministry stay engaged year after year.

SKILLZ

Nobody likes to suck at stuff.  This is a fundamental principle of humanity.  Student ministry is not an easy gig.  Leading a small group can be terribly difficult.  Volunteers who don’t feel like they are doing a good job will rarely stick around.  It’s our job as ministry leaders to equip them because volunteers who feel competent stay engaged.  We train our volunteers every other week but there is something special about getting away together on a retreat to really dig into core training concepts.

COMMUNITY

We are all hungry for community.  We believe that volunteers who have strong community make better spiritual shepherds for our students.  Some ministries require that their volunteers find a solid community, we build it right into our structure.  We have found that volunteers who connect deeply with other volunteers tend to stay engaged in our ministry for years.  For us, this is the biggest win of a volunteer retreat.  A weekend creates a ton of space for connecting.

GO AND DO

So, what’s the bottom line?  You should do a volunteer retreat!  Why?  Because we need great volunteers who stay engaged for years.  Volunteers who stay engaged feel valued, have fun, feel competent and serve in community.  A volunteer retreat is a great opportunity to invest in volunteers in each of these areas.

Tomorrow I’ll share some ideas on exactly how to pull off an epic retreat.

3 Levels of Belonging

Our student ministry does something that I believe is rather unique.   We call it cell family and we stole the idea wholesale from a church across town about a decade ago.  They stopped doing it years ago and we’ve been dumb enough to stick with it.  And yet, we’ve come to love it and it’s become an indispensable part of who we are as a ministry.  What exactly is cell family? I’m glad you asked.

ONE EPIC NIGHT OF AWESOMENESS

Our high school ministry meets on Sunday nights.  We built our ministry around small groups and we’re one of those student ministries that attach our small groups to our programming.  In other words, we pack everything into Sunday nights:  hang out, games, worship, teaching and small groups.  We always leave the last 30 minutes of our night to small groups.  We believe this is the best model for student ministry for a variety of reasons but we can argue about that in another post.

CELL FAMILY

What makes us unique is that every other week we meet in homes.  Instead of meeting all together with all of our students and volunteers, we meet in regional homes based on school.  We don’t add another night of programming, we do cell family in place of our regular large group programming.  Sound like a logistical nightmare?  It is.  But to us, it’s worth it.

THREE LEVELS OF CONNECTION

There are a few reasons we believe this model is strategic. First off, we believe that students need to know and be known.  Our dream is that students would know be known by ten adult volunteers (each cell family has 10 volunteers in it).  These volunteers know each student’s name and basic story.

We also want each student to experience three levels of belonging.  We want them to belong to something big.  There is something special about worshiping together with hundreds of people.  We also want our students to belong to something small.  Small groups are the place where they can be vulnerable and real.  It’s the environment in which they can be cared for and led by an invested adult.

Lastly, we believe our students need to belong to something midsize.  We believe that there is something valuable in 30 or 40 people in a house.  It feels a bit like a family reunion.  It’s a support network.  It’s a place where younger students can observe the faith of older students and where volunteers can show students what healthy relationships look like.  It’s a place for students to try out their gifts and talents and it’s a place where they can have a voice.

INTERACTIVE TEACHING

Cell family is also a response to how students learn.  We believe that students retain information best when they are able to interact with it as it is presented.  In our cell families, we teach through discussion rather than preaching.  Instead of a 20 minute presentation, we produce a 7 minute teaching video that leads into a group discussion.  We believe this model of communicating better fits how our students learn.

SERVE AS A FAMILY          

The last and perhaps most important reason we do cell family is volunteer community.  We believe that volunteers are at their best when they are serving as a family.  Each cell family is composed of 6-8 small group leaders and two volunteers that oversee the cell family.  These “coaches” as we all them have two roles:  care for their small group leaders and oversee the cell family programming.

Each time we meet in cell family, the volunteer team meets an hour early and has dinner at the cell family home.  Over time, the combination of these meals and serving together leads to fantastic volunteer community.  We want our volunteers to feel supported and together and cell family is a huge reason why we’re able to achieve this.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Volunteer Pep Talk | Growth

It’s Wednesday night and you’re attempting to lead your small group.  As you look around, two small groups are deep in prayer and one is passing out tissues because Sally is pouring her heart out.  You’re startled back to reality by a flash across your field of vision as Billy catapults himself off the top of a nearby couch and drops a well placed elbow into Johnny’s lower back.  Yes, this is your small group.  While the groups around you are engaging in community and discipleship, your group is engaged in a WWE cage match…again, just like they do every week.  And you ask yourself, “Why am I even here?”

This week, I’m blogging about and for student ministry volunteers.  Here’s yesterday’s post, if you’re interested.

Sometimes, actually many times, it doesn’t feel like we are getting anywhere with students.  In these moments it’s important to remember what we’re called to do and what we’re not called to do.  In these moments, a little gardening tip can keep us sane.

SEEDS AND WATERING CANS

As we think about leading students this year, there is a principle found in 1 Corinthians that has kept me sane in many difficult moments in student ministry.  Check it out:

“I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God has been making it grow.  So neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow.  The one who plants and the one who waters have one purpose, and they will each be rewarded according to their own labor.  For we are co-workers in God’s service; you are God’s field, God’s building.”                              (1 Corinthians 3:6-8)

Paul is describing the growth of the Christians in Corinth.  He was the one who planted the seeds.  He preached the Gospel to the people in Corinth.  For most, he was the person who introduced them to Jesus.  Then, Apollos came and taught them more about what it looks like to follow Jesus.  They grew and became more established under Apollos’ teaching.  And yet, Paul acknowledges that while they both had critical roles, God is the one who made the people grow.  Paul and Apollos were simply being faithful to their calling.

OUR ROLE AND GOD’S ROLE

As much as we try in student ministry, we cannot cause growth.  Only God can do that.  We can only be faithful with the roles that God has given us.  I love this. There is freedom and clarity here.  I can build relationships.  I can pursue students.  I can speak truth and I can love students well.  But, I cannot produce the results.  I cannot make a student grow.  That’s God’s role.

So this year, be a great small group leader.  Mentor your students.  Love them well and show them how to follow Jesus.  As you do these things, remember that it’s God’s role to make them grow.  Plant seeds like crazy and go nuts with the watering can.  Do your very best to love students and draw them into what Jesus is doing in and around us.  But, at the end of the day, breath a sigh of relief because, ultimately, it’s God’s role to make students grow.  All you can do is be faithful.

To Our New Volunteers

It’s September, that means it’s time to launch our student ministry.  This week I’m focusing my blog on volunteers.   Here’s what I shared with our brand new volunteer small group leaders last Wednesday night…

Sometimes you guys make me mad.  I’ll be honest, sometimes I get a little jealous.  Why?  Baptisms.  Yeah, that’s right.  Baptisms.  You see, when we do baptisms in high school, our students share their faith stories and talk about the influential moments along the way.  You know what they never say?  They never say, “I really remember this one time when Aaron was teaching and he said ….”  They never say that, because they basically never remember ANYTHING we say from the stage.  They really don’t.  It’s kind of depressing actually.

You know what they do say at baptism night?  Standing there in the hot tub they unfold their papers and read aloud about how influential their leader has been in their life.  They talk about…

  • how their leader put up with them when all they did was scream or wrestle in 6th grade
  • that trip they went on with their small group or that week in a cabin at Camp LifeLine
  • a tearful conversation in 9th grade after that really bad decision when their leader was there for them and comforted them
  • countless trips to Starbucks in which their leader poured into them
  • solemn small group moments at 2am on our senior sneak trip, long after all the tissues in the hotel room have run out.

When it comes to the baptism faith stories, you guys get all the credit and honestly, that’s how it should be.  You guys are the pastors in this ministry.  You are the spiritual shepherds.  You are the backbone of this ministry and we appreciate and need you deeply.

PASTORS AND SHEPHERDS

Please understand how important you are to the spiritual growth of our students.  It will be your role to know our students–their families, situations, struggles and strengths.  You will be there for them in the difficult moments.  You will laugh with them in the hilarious moments.  You will speak truth into their lives when they need to hear it.  You will walk with them and watch them grow into the people God is calling them to be.

Without you and what you do our ministry is ineffective.  Honestly.  We’re so grateful for you and want to encourage you to embrace your role as pastors and shepherds in the lives of our students.

HOW DO YOU GET THERE?

Here you are, a brand new leader in LifeLine.  I know you all want to do an amazing job this year.  So, how do you get from uncertain noobie to sharing stories in the baptism tub?  How do you have that kind of impact?  It’s actually really simple.  If you break it all down it’s this simple:

Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ. (1 Corinthians 11:1)

Follow Jesus in front of them.  Invite them into your life.  Share the crucial stories from your life in which God made His presence and purposes known.  Talk to them about your mistakes and how God grew you through them.   Show them and lead them.  It’s not easy but it’s simple.   You are the pastor.  You are the shepherd.

 

photo credited to j.minor

5 Things Your Volunteers Are Asking

I don’t care how gifted, relational or vision minded you are as a youth pastor, you can only effectively shepherd 5 or 6 students.  If your ministry is bigger than six, volunteers are a necessity.  The more effectively your volunteers serve, the more effective your ministry will be.  As we approach the fall season, there are 5 things our volunteers will be asking.  Answer these questions well and your volunteers will have a fantastic experience.

HOW DO I DO THIS?

Most people want to do good work.  Volunteers wouldn’t be volunteering unless they cared deeply about the ministry.  The trouble is that we don’t often provide volunteers with the tools to do ministry effectively.  Providing your volunteers with constant training is important.  In our ministry, we start every large group program with 30 minutes of volunteer training.

Secondly, provide your volunteers with clear expectations.  In the absence of clarity, people come up with their own expectations.  You won’t always be happy with what they come up with.  Make it clear and equip them for the work and then sit back and watch the magic.

HOW AM I DOING?

A lack of feedback drives people mad.  “Does she like me?”   “Did I pass the test?”  “Is my spinach casserole tasty?”  It’s no different with volunteering.  People want to know if they are doing a good job or not.  And, in the absence of feedback a new volunteer will almost always feel like they are bombing.  It’s important that ministry leaders see and praise good work.  On the flip side, if a volunteer isn’t doing a good job, gently tell him.  Most of the time, the issue is a lack of clarity on expectations.

DO I MATTER?

We all have a revolutionary streak.  We all want to belong to something big and meaningful.  Thankfully, kingdom work is incredibly compelling.  Share stories of why your volunteers matter.  Highlight the wins.  Paint a picture of what a caring adult can do in the life of a lonely teenager.  Stories are fuel for volunteers.  And, volunteers who deeply believe in the mission of the ministry and the importance of their role in it will likely stick around for years.

HOW DO I HANDLE THIS?

Crisis situations can be terrifying for a volunteer (and staff!).  “She is cutting.  What do I do?”  “He’s addicted to porn and his parents don’t know.”  “She says that her dad hits her.”

The best thing you can do for a volunteer is help her understand the process of how your ministry handles these situations.  And, it needs to be in advance.  Make this process very clear.  Help your volunteers understand what they are legally responsible for in terms of mandatory reporting.  The more you communicate these things in advance the more at ease your volunteers will feel.

Secondly, make sure they understand that they are not alone.  Staff should take lead on crisis situations as soon as possible.  Don’t leave difficult conversations with parents and calls to CPS to your volunteers.

ARE YOU LISTENING?

Every person had a deep inner need to feel significant.  There is one simple test to determine if someone values you as a person—do they listen to you?

Your volunteers will naturally develop opinions about the ministry and their experiences.  If they don’t they aren’t truly engaged in the ministry.  The way in which you listen to them will tell them very clearly whether or not you value them.  Volunteers who don’t feel valued will not stick around for long.  However, volunteers who feel significant will likely plug in for years.

Listen to your volunteers.  Provide simple ways for them to provide feedback.  Survey Monkey is one of our favorites.  Also, regular talks over coffee are a key ingredient to our care strategy.

Volunteers are crucial to student ministry.  Great ministries have great volunteers and a lot of them.  Equipping and keeping great volunteers isn’t rocket science but it does take intentionality and hard work.  These are the 5 questions I believe volunteers are asking.  Feel free to add a sixth if you think I’m missing one.

Influencing Boys Toward Greatness | Purity

Nothing can derail a man from the path to greatness like sexual sin.  For parents and youth workers, there is no more important topic than purity.  And yet, when it comes to helping boys navigate the sexual pitfalls of our culture, I’d give us a collective “D+“.  I know that’s a little harsh but hear me out on this one.  I think we’re dropping the ball in a few key areas.

LET HIM KNOW WHAT’S COMING

Most boys are surprised by their first encounter with pornography.  It’s like a sneak attack that they never saw coming and are ill equipped to handle.  We have to come to terms with the fact that, statistically speaking, boys are encountering pornography between the ages of 7-9.  If our boys encounter pornography without being warned about it, we have dropped the ball.

As parents, we must equip our boys for this first encounter.  They must know what to do and say when they are invited to see an image or video that could change the trajectory of their entire lives.  Boys don’t need to know everything about sex but they do need to know that pornography will hurt them.  I would recommend making two things very clear:

  1. If someone tries to show you a picture or video of people without their clothes on please don’t look or watch.  This is not good for you.  Please tell me if something like this happens
  2. No matter what mistakes you make in life I will love you and help you.  You can tell me anything.

To put it simply, as a parent you want to be the one who surprises your son with a conversation about pornography, not Billy down the street.  As youth workers, we can help in this area by equipping parents for these conversations and also by keeping parents informed of when we plan to talk about sexuality and pornography.

TEACH HIM TO BE INDEPENDENTLY PURE

This will probably sound counter-intuitive, but most parents and youth workers make the mistake of overprotecting boys.  Before you hit that big red “X” at the top of your browser, hear me out.  I believe that internet filters are a great idea when you have boys in elementary and middle school but not helpful when they are in high school.

Part of our role as parents and youth workers is to prepare boys for adulthood.  When boys are out of the house they will make their own decisions about how to use the internet.  As a parent, I would much prefer to catch my son viewing porn through the use of accountability software and have a conversation with him than attempt to block every possible pornographic site.  Also, no internet filter is fail proof and most boys are viewing porn on mobile devices anyway.  Either way, after he graduates, you and the Internet filter won’t be there to protect him.

Parents also fall into the trap of completely disengaging.  Pornography will destroy your son.  Even though he may be bigger than you are mostly independent, he still needs you to help him navigate the issue of pornography.

As parents and youth workers, we must find the balance.  Don’t overprotect and don’t disengage.  Walk with him through the struggle.  It will be messy.  He will make mistakes.  You must wade in.  When necessary enforce consequences.  You must encourage and equip.  In short, you must be a parent and be a mentor.

If you found this post helpful, be sure to check out the previous posts of this series on respect and character.

Influencing Boys Toward Greatness | Character

This week, my blog is focused on raising great boys.  Yesterday was all about building self-respect and today I want to focus on building character.  Let’s be real, there aren’t many men of character out there.  So, how do we raise boys with a strong inner compass?  I’m glad you asked.

CHARACTER MUST BE MODELED 

First, character cannot be taught.  There is not a video series or book that will impart character.  Character must be caught.  It can only be modeled.  So, very simply, if you want your boys to develop strong character, you must develop strong character yourself.  Your son will catch your ethics like a virus.  The boys in your small group will follow your example.  How you handle money, conflict, and anger will very likely be how he handles money, conflict and anger.

Step one in developing character in boys is to develop character in you.  My advice, become a student of Jesus.  Never has the world encountered a man of character quite like Him.

CONNECT BOYS WITH EXCEPTIONAL MEN 

Sadly, in our culture, many men are either overgrown boys whose closest experience with manhood is Call of Duty, or insecure men whose only tools of influence and leadership are intimidation and coercion.  Because of this, boys don’t have many good role models.  Every one of us wants to become a quality man but few of us have any idea how to get there.  The road map has become exceedingly rare.

Men who genuinely put others first and possess the self-confidence to be who God designed them to be are hard to find.  When you come across one, connect your son with him.  Invite that man over for dinner or ask him if he would be willing to meet with your son a few times.  It may sound like I’m being a little awkward but boys need proximity with quality men to understand that there are alternatives to what they see on TV.  Quality men can help your son realize the potential of who he could become.

CREATE AND MAINTAIN BOUNDARIES 

All of creation naturally slides toward chaos and brokenness.  As part of creation, boys are no different.  They need us to create and maintain boundaries so that they can learn character—so that they can learn the path to life.  We must come to terms with the fact that boys will not develop good character on their own.  His sinful nature will always push him toward what will harm him and others.

One of the keys to maintaining boundaries with boys is adjusting your approach as they grow older.  At first, you decide what the boundaries are and enforce them.  Most parents do pretty well when their boys are young and then practically lose their minds when their cute little boys morph into teenagers.  This happens not because teenagers are the devil but rather because they are different than little children.

A good example for boys is video games.  When he is young you (hopefully) keep his screen time very low.  As he grows older he will probably try to negotiate the boundaries.  Pull him into the conversation, talk to him about why you want to limit screen time.  Let him increase it as long as his grades stay where they ought to be and his social behavior remains acceptable.  Make him see that he will be responsible for his own decisions.

As parents, we must adapt our approach as our boys grow older.  They need to own the boundaries as much as we do.  We need to include them in on the process of creating and enforcing boundaries.  Help him understand why the boundary is important and bring him into the conversation of what’s to be done when he crosses the line.

LET HIM FACE THE CONSEQUENCES 

One of the best pieces of advice I’ve ever heard is that people don’t change until the pain of where they are is greater than the pain of changing.  Some of my greatest character lessons have come from mistakes.   These lessons hurt but I learned and matured.  They were necessary for the development of my character.  Looking back I wish I could have learned in a less painful way but I am grateful for lessons learned through pain and disgrace.

In my opinion, one of the worst things parents and youth workers can do for boys is bail them out of trouble every time they get into it.  Letting him face the natural consequences of bad decisions is great parenting.  It’s painful to watch him suffer but don’t give into the temptation to rescue him.  In doing so, you will nullify one of God’s clearest principles—you reap what you sow.

 

 

 

Influencing Boys Towards Greatness

There aren’t a whole lot of quality men out there.  When I think about the kind of man I want my daughters to marry, I don’t see many of them.  Men of character are an endangered species.

With all that said, I want to raise great sons and I want the boys in my student ministry to become great men.   I want them to become strong men of faith who know who they are and what their purpose is in life.  I want them to become faithful and loving husbands and fathers.  In a culture that is currently producing so many low quality men, how do we do this?  How exactly do you raise and mentor boys like that?  I have a few thoughts…

SELF-RESPECT

A quality man must have a strong sense of self-respect.  Why?  Because every man’s deepest longing is for respect—for the people around him to be proud of him.  If he doesn’t possess an understanding of himself that leads him to believe that he is respectable and worth being proud of, he will struggle through life.  So, as parents, youth workers or even friends, how do we build the self-respect of boys and young men?

1.  Does He Understand Where His Value Comes From?

Men naturally believe that their value flows from what they can do.  We were created to work—to build, create, fix and accomplish but because of sin we have developed an unhealthy assumption that what we do wholly determines our worth.

Boys need to understand that their value comes from the fact that God loves them not from what they can do.  We must repeatedly and carefully reinforce this truth.

2.  Does He Know that you are Proud of Him?  

The central need of a man is for respect.  In order to develop healthy future relationships, boys must develop a strong sense of self-respect.  As a parent you will deeply influence this process by the way that you talk to your son.  Does he know that you are proud of him?  Does he hear it on a regular basis?

Based on the way you talk about the boys under your influence, they will develop the belief that they either can or can’t in the world.  Boys who are not praised regularly or who are criticized relentlessly will have an incredibly hard time developing strong relationships as they grow older.

Life is hard and will at times leave a boy reeling.  Gift the boys in your life with an irreversible belief that he IS respectable.

3.  Does He Know What it means to be Respectable?

So, what exactly does it mean to be respectable?  Our culture is severely confused about this.  Popular TV, music and video games teach that respect comes from power and intimidation.  Because of this, guys spend an inordinate amount of time building muscles, athletic expertise and overall toughness.   No one is talking about honor, wisdom, moral strength or work ethic.

True respectability comes from humble strength.  It comes from living rightly and serving the people around us—not dominating them.  A respectable man draws the best out of people by empowering them.  This is especially true in a good marriage.

We must show our boys what real respectability is all about.  As a father, how do you treat the women in your life?  Are you empowering them through humble service?  As a mother, how do you talk about your husband or other men in your life?

How you handle conflict will also teach boys about respectability.  Do you demand what you want through intimidation and guilt?  If so, this is what he will learn.  How you conduct yourselves during conflict will teach him how people ought to be treated when it really matters.

 

The foundation of a man’s identity is his sense of self-respect.  You can help the boys in your life develop healthy self-respect by showing them why they are valuable, that you are proud of them, and what respectability is all about.

I’ll continue this topic tomorrow by sharing some ideas on how to build character in boys.

 

 

Guest Post: Why Volunteers Matter

Growing up, I couldn’t wait until I was old enough to go to youth group at church. I always thought it looked like they were having so much fun. They were so cool and they got to do so many fun things. It turns out I wasn’t wrong.

I spent my two years of junior high buying in to “youth group” and doing my best to be at all the events. Then I did the same in my four years of high school. I think I got lucky and had a group of fellow students who wanted to be part of a community and leaders who wanted to cultivate that kind of environment. I can’t begin to explain in a single blog post how valuable my time spent at youth group was as I was growing up, but here goes nothing…

I really believe that youth group volunteers have the power to be some of the most influential people in the lives of students. I can tell you confidently that God placed my youth group leaders in my life to change it. Without them and the experiences I had I’m honestly not sure where I would be. See, as I was going through those formative years, my home life was splintering apart. It was those Sunday mornings and Thursday nights where I felt like I belonged to something bigger. Where I felt like I was part of a family who loved me and with people who wanted to see me grow. It was those days where my leader took me out to lunch that I’ll never forget. Any extra time spent with these people, the adults I looked up to, was revolutionary for me. Truly.

Because of these experiences I knew I had to pursue some type of student ministry as I moved into college and adult life. I’ve been volunteering with my church’s junior high group for about the last five years. It’s been such a ride and I wouldn’t have rather spent these years any other way. It’s the least I could do to give back what I feel was given to me. So I guess if you’ll let me I wanted to issue a challenge to anyone who might be reading this. Step up, get involved in the lives of some younger people. You may not ever know how much you mean to them, but I promise you they are looking. Whether you’re already involved or not at all. Take an extra step. If you’re already volunteering in some way make it a point to get really involved in a student’s life, find out about what sports they play, find out about their family life. You might be shocked at how eager and willing they are to learn from you and spend more time with you.

I graduated from youth group and never wanted to leave. I experienced first hand what impact relationships born from student-leader interactions can have. I knew I had to be willing to let God use me in whatever way He wanted.  I tried to  be the type of person that my leaders were for me and I’d encourage all of you to try your hand and see what mark you can leave on your student’s lives. One question, one conversation could turn everything around. You just have to be willing to take that extra step.

Jordan Mears never actually left junior high. He’s a 22-year old college student serving in his fifth year as a junior high small group leader at South Church in Lansing, MI. He co-founded the Dons, a legendary church softball dynasty and currently works as a sports copy editor for the Lansing State Journal.

 

A Simple Approach to Intergenerational Ministry

A lot has been said and written recently about the importance of intergenerational ministry.  The Sticky Faith research has pointed out the importance of adult mentors in the lives of students.

I think many student ministries assume they are doing well in this area simply because they put adults in proximity with students.  Personally, I do not believe that quality mentoring relationships will naturally grow out of proximity.  It takes intentionality.  Here are 3 ways we intentionally promote intergenerational mentoring.

1.       VISION VOLUNTEERS

First, we INSPIRE our volunteers to become mentors.  Before every Sunday or Wednesday night we hold an hour long leader meeting and one of the things we do in these meetings is tell stories of great mentoring.  We talk about how our volunteers have made a difference in the past and how each person investing in the lives of students today is altering the trajectory of a student’s life.

We EQUIP our volunteers to become mentors.  We teach them how to pursue students, how to manage and effectively lead a small group, how to interact with the parents of their students, and how to handle crisis conversations.  We don’t hold quarterly or even monthly training meetings; we train our volunteers every time we meet for large group.

We EXPECT our volunteers to become mentors.  We believe so deeply in intergenerational mentoring that we create standards.  I understand that it is impossible to quantify mentoring but we do our best to do it anyway.  We require a certain amount of small group activities, one-on-ones with students and parent interactions.

Although our mentors are volunteers, we still hold them accountable to their role.  If they aren’t performing, we carefully confront them.  If after a few more weeks they still aren’t performing, we fire them and find someone else who can mentor our students.  Yes, you can fire a volunteer.  This is how deeply we believe in intergenerational mentoring.

2.       STRUCTURE FOR MENTORING

We happen to believe that over time, small groups are a great place for mentoring relationships to develop.  Because of this we don’t ask students to opt into a small group.  We simply place EVERY STUDENT IN A SMALL GROUP and leave 30 minutes at the end of every LifeLine night for small groups.

Mentoring relationships take time to develop so we leave our small groups intact for all three years of middle school and all four years of high school.  Particularly in high school, we believe that SMALL GROUPS TAKE 1-2 YEARS TO BUILD TRUST.  The next 2 years are fertile soil for mentoring relationships.   

3.        SIMPLIFY PROGRAMMING

We believe that faith is best learned outside of the church building.  Students need to see faith lived out in action.   Because of this belief we require our volunteers to get on their students turf and to interact with them outside of our student ministry programming.

We know that volunteers only have so much time to devote to ministry.  Because mentoring outside the church building’s walls is a premium, we simply cut our programming to make space and time for our volunteers.  WE DON’T DO EVENTS.  Our senior high ministry literally has no events other than our Sunday night programming, snow camp and mission trips.  We simplify so that our volunteers can commit to pursuing their students outside the walls of the church building.

“No events!” You say?  Are you crazy?  Well, I guess that was a lie.  We have all sorts of events but we don’t schedule them—our small groups do, organically.  They are better and more strategically targeted than anything our staff could ever dream up.

 

So there you have it.  3 simple ways to promote mentoring in your ministry.  How have you promoted mentoring relationships in your setting?