I loved seeing all the tweets, posts and pictures about fathers yesterday. The question I was mulling over yesterday afternoon was this: What exactly makes for a great father? Here’s what I came up with:
1. LOVE YOUR WIFE
Nowhere in our culture do we see healthy marriages—not on TV, not in movies, rarely at your kid’s friend’s house. Good marriages are a lost art. Please understand that you are probably the only chance your kids have at seeing a good marriage. Put your love on display. Treasure your wife, take her out, take her on vacation, kiss her in front of your kids and talk about her with your kids like she is the queen of the world.
It’s never too late to start doing this. It doesn’t matter if it’s your first or fourteenth marriage or if you’re divorced and single. Even the way you talk about your ex-wife is important. Teach your children to value women for more than just their bodies.
2. A GREAT DAD MODELS FAITH
Kids learn by watching. Unfortunately, in many families, faith is something that only happens on Sunday morning. If you want your kids to develop a faith that permeates every aspect of their life then you need to live out that kind of faith in front of them.
Deuteronomy 6 is a great template for how to live out faith in your home:
6 These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.
Translation: talk about your faith all the time! Let your kids see how it affects your decisions, the way you talk, how you handle your money and what media you engage with. The truth is that your kids will most likely end up with the same faith you have. Will you be happy with the result?
3. A GREAT DAD INVESTS IN HIS KIDS
Kids need attention. I’m talking about 2 year olds and 20 year olds. One of the greatest mistakes I see dads making is not spending time enough with their kids. Dads are too busy.
There is no greater investment that you can make. No one, upon their death bed has ever said, “I spent way too much time with my kids.” At the end, nearly every person wishes they had invested more in what matters.
Fathers, your kids crave your attention, affection, and words. If you give to them liberally as they are growing up you are very likely to have a close relationship with them as they grow older. Work can wait. Your kids won’t.
4. A GREAT DAD HOLDS THE LINE
Kids don’t naturally make good decisions. They are fallen creatures who are bent towards selfishness and destructive habits. I see too many tired dads giving up on boundaries as their kids get older. Please don’t. Believe it or not, kids want boundaries and they will grow up to be better people because of them. Hold the line. Don’t give up. Your kids need your authority in their lives.
