We are seriously confused about happiness. On the one hand, we have more opportunity for happiness in our society than every before. For the most part, we can have anything we want almost anytime that we want. And yet, our culture is seriously unhappy and discontent. We’re never satisfied or content–with what we have, with our relationships, with achievement, with sex, basically anything.
It’s not just adults either, over the last decade that I’ve been involved in student ministry, I’ve noticed a sharp increase in students who are either depressed or very unhappy. What’s the deal? How can we be so unhappy when we have everything we could want or need?
I think it is because we fundamentally misunderstand happiness. Popular psychology argues that happiness is attained when we get or achieve what we want. Be who you want to be. Get what you want. Do what you want. When you release yourself from pressures to conform and do your thing, then you’ll be happy. Personally, I think this is a misunderstanding of human nature. As I understand the Bible,I don’t think we shouldn’t trust our desires.
Two ancient verses from the Old Testament describe what I’m talking about:
The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? (Jeremiah 17:9)
There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death. (Proverbs 16:25)
Here’s a very basic interpretation: Your heart is a liar and often when something seems very right it is very wrong. In other words, contrary to popular belief, you can’t trust your gut and you shouldn’t follow your heart. To put it bluntly, what you think will make you happy will often leave you empty or worse, break your heart.
Happiness is elusive because it moves. Let me explain. The year was 2002, the Xbox had just come out and I simply had to have one. My Playstation had become utterly worthless to me. So, I bought the Xbox and it was amazing. Then, in 2005, Microsoft released the Xbox 360 and with one quick press announcement, my Xbox was dead to me. I couldn’t play games on that worthless old piece of outdated technology. I simply had to have the 360. So, I went out and bought one and it was amazing. And now, what will be released in a few short months? The Xbox One. And when I see my friends playing on it my 360 will become utterly worthless to me.
What I experienced with the Xbox applies to relationships, achievement, sex and anything else. The girl I couldn’t break up with fast enough back in 10th grade was the same girl I just had to have 3 months earlier. Happiness is elusive because it moves.
Here’s the truth: constantly trying to keep yourself happy will never lead to true happiness. You will experience flashes of happiness but then it will move. You’ll constantly be chasing something you’ll never actually achieve.
Happiness isn’t really what you’re after anyway. What you want is meaning. You want to live a life that is meaningful. Living a meaningful life unlocks joy. Unlike happiness, joy doesn’t move because it isn’t dependent on external circumstances.
The Apostle Paul used the word “joy” constantly and he lived a pretty rough life. He was beaten, imprisoned, stoned (from rocks not plants), shipwrecked and eventually murdered because he was a Jesus follower. Yet, in the midst of all this pain he repeatedly wrote of being filled with joy. How is this possible?
Paul experienced joy because he knew that he was desperately loved by his Creator and Savior. He felt joy in the midst of abuse and pain because he knew that he was pouring his life out for something that really mattered–for something deeply meaningful.
Joy is possible when you have nothing, when you are rejected, when you are hurt and even when you are dying. Joy is far superior to happiness. Stop living for happiness because happiness won’t make you happy. Give your life to something meaningful.
