College Transition | Aaron Buer

3 Ways to Help High School Seniors This Year

As we approach the fall, there is much that we can do to help our high school seniors transition well. Here’s a post from earlier this summer with some ideas….

We’ve all seen the doomsday statistics about how many students are walking away from church and faith when the get into college. If you’re like me you probably have a few names and faces that represent the numbers in those statistics. What’s difficult is that while you’re spinning on the hamster wheel of weekly student ministry it can be difficult to think strategically about college transition.

The temptation is to become paralyzed by the hugeness of the problem. Guilt and fear tells us that we need to restructure our entire ministry because everything we are doing apparently sucks. This is a dirty lie. The truth is most of what we are doing in student ministry is great for the long-term faith development of our students. Instead of scrapping your entire structure consider tweaking your ministry. What is one thing we can do differently to improve college transition? Here are 3 suggestions of ways to tweak your approach to college transition.

Who am I?

Perhaps the biggest issue our students face as they graduate from our ministries is that they don’t know who they are. They don’t have a cear picture of how God has designed them or what He might be calling them to. Helping them make progress in this area can be a huge service to your students and maybe even save them a few thousand dollars in college tuition.

Maybe the way to tweak your ministry is to help your seniors discover a little about how God has wired them. There is no need to reinvent the wheel when it comes to helping students understand who they are. Currently, we are using Donald Miller’s Storyline as a template for our discussions. Jon Acuff’s Start may be more geared for adults but it’s hilarious and insightful. Finding Your Way is also another great resource that is specifically designed with this purpose in mind.

Senior Retreat

Maybe you don’t have time to create an additional program just for seniors but I bet you do have a weekend available somewhere during the year. A retreat just for seniors is a great first step toward improving college transition. It doesn’t have to be fancy. Find a cabin or a lake house and spend the weekend helping them build a strategy for how to grow spiritually during their first year of college. Our version of this is called Senior Sneak. See what we did there with the two “S”s? Genius.

Transition Mentors

Programs will never compare to relationships. An entire year’s worth of transition curriculum isn’t worth much unless caring adults are pouring into the lives of your students. Without mentoring relationships students will have trouble implementing the principles you are teaching.

Perhaps you’re too busy for either of my previous two suggestions. That’s fine. Delegate it. Recruit other people to do it. Find mature and caring adults who are willing to mentor students and turn them loose. Even if you do have the time and resources to develop a college transition ministry, you should still pull in quality adults as mentors. Inter-generational mentoring relationships are like a magic bullet against faith abandonment in college.

Faith abandonment in college is a huge problem but don’t let it paralyze you. Instead of restructuring everything, simply take a step in the right direction. For now, pick whatever suggestion sounds best. If none of them sound good then invent your own. Just take a step.

Advice to College Freshmen

For the last 3 years, a major portion of my job has been helping seniors in high school transition well into college and adulthood. Over the course of their senior year we talked through just about every topic out there. Now, they are leaving or have already left for the next phase of their lives. Here’s a compilation of what we’ve talked about and my parting advice:

1. Show me your friends and I’ll show you your future

It’s a guarantee that people become almost exactly like their friends in terms of what they are into and what their values are. Be incredibly picky about who you choose as close friends.

2. You’ll never be more loved than you are right now

The designer of the universe created you exactly how He wants you to be. He really likes who you are and loved you enough to sacrifice His own life to bring you back into relationship. If these things are true, no boy, girl, party, grade, friend, job, car, dress, video game or sex could ever make you more loved than you are right now. Know who you are and live out of that identity.

3. Facebook is the new resume

Everything you post on your social media accounts is permanent and yes, employers will look at your Facebook when considering you for a job. I know because I’ve done it myself. Be wise.

4. You only get one body

Alcohol and tobacco, when used excessively, will hurt your body. And drugs? Well, they’ll make you look like the emperor from Star Wars. You only get one body. Take care of it. Eat well, exercise and get rest. Your body is an amazing gift. You don’t want to mess it up. You have to live in it for like 80 more years.

5. You’re either growing closer or more distant with God

I believe that all relationships are either growing closer or more distant. Time spent together, meaningful conversations and serving each other lead to closeness. Ignoring the other person leads to distance. There is no middle ground. I believe that our relationship with God is the same way. Pursue Him and make space for Him in your new schedule.

6. You’ll marry someone that you date

Whatever dating was for you in high school, those days are over. Dating is a different game in college. It has greater consequences—good and bad. The thing is, you’ll marry someone you date. Unless, of course, your parents are hooking you up with an arranged marriage. If this is true we should probably talk.

Anyway, someday you’ll probably be married. Before that you’ll be engaged and before that you’ll be dating. My advice: only date people you’d consider marrying.

7. Direction, not intention, determines your destination (The Principle of the Path, Andy Stanley)

Life is a path. The choices you make today will directly affect your future. There are no shortcuts in life and wishful thinking won’t help you. If you want financial freedom as a young adult then don’t rack up debt on your credit card. If you want a close and happy marriage in ten years then don’t sleep around with random people. Direction, not intention, determines your destination.

8. Life is found at the intersection of your gifts, passions and God’s mission

God is on a mission. He’s saving lives both now and for eternity. He wants to partner with you. You were made for this. He wired you and gifted you for a specific purpose. Meaningful life is found when your gifts and passions intersect with God’s mission in the world. Do the hard work of figuring out who God has made you to be, pay attention to what God is doing around you, and dive in!

9. Your Parents are smarter than you

College will bring irreversible change to your relationship with your parents. However, this doesn’t mean you should stop listening to them. Your parents have at least double the life experience you do. They understand how life works. Wise people treat their parents with respect and listen to their advice. Sure, there will be times that they don’t understand and even time when they are wrong but please remember that when it comes to life—your parents are smarter than you.

10. Debt destroys future possibilities

I have friends who want to be youth pastors, become missionaries, have children, buy a house, travel or get married but they can’t. They can’t because they can’t afford it. They’re drowning in debt—school loans and credit cards.

Debt destroys future options. It takes away possibilities and can keep you from your dreams. Be very careful with debt.

To my class of 2013: I love you guys and I’m gonna miss you. I wish you the very best and we at LifeLine will always be in your corner. Stay connected with your leader and above all else, keep pursuing Jesus.

photo credited to Tax Credits

My College Transition Curriculum

Look, I’m not famous or anything but I did develop a college transition curriculum. Well, actually, I borrowed most of it but it’s still pretty awesome. I’ve been perfecting it for a few years now. Below is this year’s version. You’re welcome to use some or all of it. Check it out.

KICKOFF

We play a trivia game about college. My slideshow is as basic as they come but the point is to get students thinking about the next phase of their life. After playing the trivia game we set the stage for the year–talking through our topics and generally getting the students amped about their senior year. Here’s the slideshow:

[Show as slideshow]

FIRST SEMESTER

Our entire first semester is devoted to Donald Miller’s Storyline workbook. It’s a great journey for graduating seniors. The book generates a ton of great conversation and helps the students think through their gifting, God’s mission and what a meaningful life looks like.

JANUARY

We’ll spend January going through a few key concepts from Andy Stanley’s The Principle of the Path. I think this book is perfect for helping students understand how the decisions they make over the next few years will be connected to the rest of their lives.

FEBRUARY

1. Leaders Share: Our small group leaders share their post high school experiences, offering advice on colleges, majors, partying, money, friends and whatever else they feel like talking about.

2. Money, School Loans and Debt: My approach is to help students understand what their lives will actually be like if they take on a heavy debt load. My goal is that anyone who is paying for school on their own would think seriously about cheaper options.

MARCH

1. Graduates Share: Recent graduates return to LifeLine to talk about what their college experiences have been like. I ask them to talk about money, finding a new church or campus ministry, partying and whatever advice they have for our current seniors.

2. Senior Sneak: This is our retreat designed for seniors. It includes a whole lot of fun and 3 senior specific teachings. Sorry, the content and location are secret.

APRIL

1. Understanding God’s Will: How do you make decisions based on God’s design, plans and calling?

2. Dating, Marriage and Divorce: How exactly to you end up happily married?

Well that’s my curriculum for this year. I firmly believe that helping students transition well begins with helping them ask the right questions and engage in the right conversations. This curriculum is designed to spur on these conversations. In the context of small groups that have been together for 4-7 years and an invested adult mentor, these conversations can be very powerful.

Transition is my passion so if you have ideas I’d love to hear them!

Equipping Graduates for the Next Step

Roughly half of youth group kids are walking away from faith in college. This map shows where the 50 graduates who were under my care this past year are headed in the fall. If you’re wondering, I stole the idea for the map from HSM at Saddleback Community Church. You can see their version here.

All I know is that I refuse to accept that 50% of my students will walk away from faith. I’ve made it my mission to reduce that percentage among LifeLine students. Over the last 3 years, we have revamped our approach to the senior year experience. Here’s a glimpse of our strategy.

1. CELEBRATE SENIORS

We love to make a big deal about our seniors. We give them a lot of stage time, put on a retreat just for them and give them their own house group–no underclassmen allowed! In our ministry, being a senior is special and you get access to opportunities that are only for seniors. We do this to help retain our seniors. We want our students to have something to look forward to. Typically, seniors seem to disappear from youth group but by offering them unique experiences and the spotlight we are able to keep them involved. And, this is very important to us because we have a lot we want to teach them.

2. TRAIN SENIORS

In our ministry context, half of our programming nights take place in homes. For seniors, their home is only for seniors and the curriculum is designed for them. We talk about how to choose the right college (or not), what college will actually be like, debt, politics, partying, dating, apologetics, calling, mission, and a bunch of other stuff that we feel will help them navigate the challenges of life beyond high school. Again, by offering them a curriculum that hits them where they are at, we are able to retain our seniors through the year.

3. HAND OFF SENIORS

Rather than a book and a handshake, we attempt to hand our students off to both a mentor and a new ministry or church. The mentor is actually from our ministry–the same mentor they’ve had for the last four years. We just encourage the relationship to continue through the first year of college. I stole this idea from the Sticky Faith book. They call it 4+1. If you haven’t read it, you really should.

We also want to hand our students off to a new church or campus ministry. During their senior year we constantly talk about how important it is to find a church or campus ministry with the first two weeks of college. Most students who don’t connect within the first two weeks never will.

We identify churches and ministries for our students and then contact the ministry leaders and ask them to connect with our graduate before college begins. We also send our graduates a care package in early September to encourage them and remind them to plug into a church or ministry.

So that’s a brief explanation of how we highlight the senior year and attempt to equip our students for the next phase of their lives. How do you do it?

Why Christian Students Walk Away From Faith

For the last 3 years, I have obsessively focused on this question. As a pastor to students, this is the sort of thing that keeps me up at night.

One of our former students and current volunteers shared this article with me and I think it is worth the read. The article is written by Larry Alex Taunton who is the executive director of the Fixed Point Foundation. Honestly, I know nothing about him or his organization but the study intrigued me because it offered “members of Secular Student Alliances (SSA) or Freethought Societies (FS)s” an opportunity to share “your journey to unbelief“. Here were some of Larry Alex Taunton’s observations:

1. “They had attended church”

2. “The mission and message of their churches was vague”

3. “They felt their churches offered superficial answers to life’s difficult questions”

4. “They expressed their respect for those ministers who took the Bible seriously”

5. “Ages 14-17 were decisive”

6. “The decision to embrace unbelief was often an emotional one”

7. “The internet factored heavily into their conversion to atheism”

Personally, I believe we are losing students to irrelevant faith and atheism because they don’t find Christianity compelling which is ridiculous because the mission of the Gospel is insanely compelling. But, this is on us–not them. Students want to be part of a mission bigger than themselves and if we aren’t connecting them to it they will go elsewhere for meaning.

Also, research shows that many students are walking away because they didn’t have a safe place to wrestle with doubts. We MUST become churches where it is not only OK but also encouraged to openly wrestle with doubts.

The article is definitely worth a read. Click here to check it out.

Giving Your Graduates a Book is Lame.

Look, I’m sorry for offending you. I know that gifting your graduates with a book is tradition. At the risk of further infuriating you, I’m just going to come out and say it: Your students don’t want a book. They most likely won’t read it and even if they do they probably won’t remember what the book was about when they are struggling through the treacherous first two weeks of college.

For the first 6 years of my student ministry career my well orbed transition strategy included a nice Christian book about graduating, shaking the student’s hand during our church’s graduation ceremony, and an appropriate side hug.

Here’s the thing, our graduates don’t want or need a book. However, they are desperate for REAL help in transitioning. Consider replacing or adding to the book with these three crucial transition pieces.

A Hand-Off

We need to stop simply hoping that our graduates connect with a church or ministry and start actually connecting them. Here’s what I do:

Make a list of all your graduates and what they are doing next year.
Learn where each school, military training facility, etc. is located geographically.
Research churches in the area. Pick one similar to your church—or the church you wish your church was (ouch!)
Discover what campus ministries are active in the area.
Contact reps from churches and campus ministries and request that they contact your student in August, before they arrive on campus.
Do not give up until you find a good church or ministry who actually contacts your students
Follow up with your student to see how it went.
Add good ministry/church connections to your database for next year

A Mentor

The first semester of college is about as disorienting as it gets. Students need a mentor to keep them grounded. In our high school ministry, small group leaders transform into transition mentors during a student’s freshman year of college. In order to achieve this we only hire volunteers who are committed to serving as a small group leader for 4 years and then we constantly vision them with Sticky Faith’s 4+1 concept. Most leaders attach so strongly to their students after two years that they naturally commit to something much deeper and longer. 4+Life

A Care Package

Do you remember how awesome it was to get a care package from your mom when you were in college? So good! A few years ago we stumbled upon this idea and we’ve been doing it ever since. The feedback we get from our graduates is incredible. The key is to make sure the package lands within the critical first two weeks of college. The goals are to remind them that we haven’t forgotten them, still love them and to encourage them to engage Jesus and plug into a church or ministry. Here’s what we put in our care package:

A crap-ton of candy and snacks
A LifeLine thumb drive and lanyard. On the thumb drive are digital devotionals.
A Starbucks Card (go to Starbucks…do devotional)
Letters from LifeLine staff and small group leaders (we still love you…GO TO CHURCH!)

So ditch the book and adopt these practices. We must do more to help our students transition. If you have other ideas that have worked well in your ministry I would love to hear them.

3 Things You Can Do to Fight Faith Abandonment

Who am I?

Perhaps the biggest issue our students face as they graduate from our ministries is that they don’t know who they are. They don’t have a clear picture of how God has designed them or what He might be calling them to. Helping them make progress in this area can be a huge service to your students and maybe even save them a few thousand dollars in college tuition.

Senior Retreat

Transition Mentors

Image courtesy of t0zz / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

College Transition: 4+Life

A few nights ago was the season finale of our senior cell family. In our ministry structure, cell families are regional collections of 6 small groups. One of the things we do to help our students with college transition is cluster all of our senior small groups into their own cell family. We meet together every other week and talk about transitioning into adulthood. Last night was the last cell family of the year. It’s tradition for us to give our small group leaders the floor on the last night and let them share their final words of advice to our graduating seniors. They all shared from the platform of years invested in their small group so their words carried some weight for all and immense weight for a few.

One of our leaders said something that I will remember for the rest of my life—something that reminds me that connecting small groups of students with a caring adult is probably the most important thing we do. This particular leader said, “Whatever happens from here on out, whatever mistakes you make, we want you to know that we are here for you for the rest of your lives.” The beautiful thing is that I know from watching her lead her small group that she meant every word of that statement and I know the same is true for the other leaders sitting around that circle.

Ever since I heard Kara Powell explain the core concepts of Sticky Faith in a breakout session at the Simply Youth Ministry Conference, I have made the “4+1” concept a key component of our volunteer recruiting and training. We’ve asked for a four year commitment for as long as I can remember but we began visioning volunteers to continue mentoring their students during their first year of college. I believe that this concept has made a significant impact in the lives of our graduates.

Here’s the clincher: if you recruit the right people and vision them the right way, not only will they give you 4+1, they will give you 4+life. I understand that not every leader has this kind of capacity and not every small group relationally cements together in this way but even if only half of them do—think of the incredible lifelong impact our student ministries could have. This is why I believe that nothing we do is more important that leveraging inter-generational mentoring relationships. Life-changing student ministry isn’t complicated. Find adults who love Jesus and are willing to love a handful of students, equip and vision the heck out of them and unleash them to be the pastors in your ministry. 4+life.

Ultimatum

A few years ago my boss read a couple books and became paranoid—this sort of thing is pretty common around my church. He pulled me into his office and asked me a series of hard questions.

“How many of our graduates are plugged into a good church?”

“Uh, I’m not sure.”

“Where are our graduates going to college?”

“Umm…I know a few are going to [insert college] .”

“How many of our graduates have walked away from faith?”

“Uh…hopefully none?”

“What are you doing to ensure that our graduates will pursue faith beyond LifeLine (our student ministry)?

“Uh…I gave them a book and an appropriate side-hug?”

Needless to say, he wasn’t amused. Then he gave me an ultimatum, “This time next year, I need to know the answers to each of these questions.” That’s how my boss works. He’s a genius thinker but he’s really annoying because he actually makes you do stuff.

Since I need a paycheck, I spent the next year researching, experimenting and finally implementing. Along the way I discovered a passion that keeps me up at night and gets me out of bed in the morning. The question that haunts me is this, “Will my students pursue Jesus after high school?” That was about 3 years ago. Since then we’ve made significant changes to our ministry philosophy and structure. We decided that we were unwilling to continue doing what wasn’t working.

Here my challenge: do you know what happens to your students after graduation? I mean, do you really know where each of them is going to college, what ministry they will connect with? Will you or someone else walk with them through the transition? How do you plan to encourage them throughout their transition? If you don’t know the answers to these questions, (let’s be honest, most of us don’t) then we have some work to do.

The journey starts with an accurate assessment. Ask yourself, what really happens to my students after graduation? Where do they go? What does their faith look like? Take some time to learn the truth and then develop a strategy to respond to what you learn. The good news is that you probably don’t need to reinvent the wheel because there is a ton of great research out there on the issue of transition and faith fade. Keep reading this blog and I’ll share some of what we have learned.

Category: College Transition