student ministry | leadership | parenting | life
This past weekend we polished off our Selfie Series which is was all about identity. I’ll post all the graphics, bumper video and teaching scripts soon if you feel like stealing them.
Here’s the video teaching we used in our houses during this series. It ended up being one of my favorites of the year.
Selfie: Baby Habits from LifeLine Student Ministries on Vimeo.
What have you taught lately that has been awesome? I’d love to hear about it.
Recently, an all-star couple who serve in our student ministry discovered a great game and passed it on to us. It’s called Kahoot. Essentially, it’s the same type of trivia game that you play in restaurants like BW3s except that you can create your own quizzes and surveys with graphics and text.
The way that it works is you create a quiz beforehand and then students log into kahoot.it through their mobile devices. All they have to do is create a username and enter the pin # Kahoot gives you when you create the game. And, of course, you can instantly boot that annoying kid who creates an obscene username. I see you Amandahugandkiss!
We’ve been experimenting with the game for a few weeks and love it. Last week, we used it in our large group setting for the first time, we were able to explain the game, have students log in, and play the game in 5 minutes.
We are in a teaching series called Selfie where all the imagery is build around social media, so our Kahoot game was “Name that App.” We showed the logo for 11 different apps and students had a few seconds to pick the correct answer out of four options. Our students and volunteers loved it! After each question, the game tells you what place you are in and on the main screen it lists the top five players. It’s basically the best game ever.
If you are a teacher, youth worker, give presentations or have a ginormous family you should totally check it out. According to Kahoot’s site, 500 people have played at once and it can accommodate many more. You can use it for surveys or quizzes and anyone with a device that can connect to the internet can play. It’s so much fun! I can’t wait to try it as part of a presentation.
If you have a genius youth group game, I’d love to hear about it. Let’s be real, finding great games is one of the most annoying parts of student ministry. None of us have time to search the web for hours! If you’re fresh out of game ideas, feel free to stop by my friend Jon’s game site: youthgroupgames.org
I hit the books hard this month. I guess my mind needed a break because I did a lot of light reading.
Yes. I got sucked into the series. I admit, I’m no better than your 7th grade daughter. STOP JUDGING ME!
OK, but for real, I could not put down the first two books, but this last one was a snoozer for me. I totally hit the wall on the steamy romance too. I get it. You like to snuggle. Do I have to read about it…over and over? And, aren’t you only 16? Stop!
As much as I was bored in third book, the ending was fantastic. I suppose it was worth the 50 shades of Tris and Four to get to the ending.
I’ll read anything by Bryson. I wanted to learn a little more about Bill Shakespeare because I feel terribly uncultured and slightly barbaric. I still don’t know anything about his plays but I did learn a thing or two about the man. In the end, this was not my favorite Bryson book but you might enjoy it if you’re a Shakespeare fan.
Overall this was a great book. My student ministry team and I read it together. It only took us about 4 months. Hey, we were busy. Anyway, I didn’t always love the author’s tone but the content was great for leaders and organizations aspiring toward greatness. I highly recommend it as a leadership book for a team.
I will review both of these books together because they are by the same author and also because they evoked the same reaction in me. I’ll be honest, I felt a little like a creeper with his ear pressed to the door of some women’s club. These books were written for women and I’m not a woman. The truth is that I read these books because everyone kept telling me how good of a storyteller Shauna is. I want to become a great writer and storyteller so I went ahead and pressed my ear up to the women’s club and listened in. She does tell good stories. Bittersweet, in particular was great because it is raw and emotional. In my opinion, this is what makes for great books. Sadly, Shauna and her husband have been through a few difficult years. I deeply appreciated her willingness to delve into the darkness and tell much needed stories.
On a side note, I loved that many of the stories took place in Grand Rapids, even if she sort of hates the place. I can’t say I blame her for all she went through in our town. I’ll admit, I did get a bit defensive about my beloved city, but I’m over it.
This book is extremely short but it still counts because I want to reach my reading goal for this year and because it propelled me forward. This book is powerfully motivating. The central message is this: “Get up early and do stuff you care about.” It’s an incredibly simple concept, almost like, “duh.” Mornings are when you can focus. Mornings are when you won’t be interrupted. Mornings are when your willpower is the strongest. So basically, get up and start working on your dreams! For me, it’s writing. I wake up early, grab a cup of coffee and write. Unless I’m tired, then I grab a cup of coffee and play Clash of Clans. Maybe I should reread the book.
Last week, I traveled to Atlanta with a few members of our Family Ministries team to join 6000 others for the Orange Conference. As a student pastor, I’ve been to a lot of student ministry and family ministry conferences. In my opinion, this was the best. If you serve students or children, you need to go next year. Here’s why.
1. Food Trucks
Everyone knows that the most important thing about conferences, or life for that matter is food. Maybe I’m a little obsessed but I love great food. Spice, flavor, combinations and ethnic touches dazzle my palate. One of the things I love about Orange is that they bring in food trucks–seriously, one of the smartest inventions of all time. Also, I love sitting around the table with people I care about or want to learn from, sharing a meal and talking about ministry and strategy.
2. Laughter
Ministry is a sloppy bucket of stress. Particularly at this time of year, we’re all slightly to moderately frazzled.
“Did you just stick your finger in an electric socket or maybe hug a nuclear warhead?”
“Nope. Just finished small group.”
“Cool.”
Orange brought an insane amount of comedy this year. At times, I was crying because I was laughing so hard. I woke in the morning with sore abs. This may have more to do with sloth than comedy…Either way, thanks for the ab workout.
3. Value
Sadly, not every work environment or church values creativity and artistic expression. One of the things I love about reThink and the Orange Conference is a high value on creativity and art. They understand the work it takes to write good curriculum, produce quality videos and create engaging programs. It’s more art than science for sure. It’s a lovely feeling to be told over and over again that the work we do matters. Also, I saw a bunch of ideas that I’ve already begun stealing. Don’t tell anyone.
4. Collaboration
The thing I love the most about reThink is that they elevate the local church. They are constantly looking for ways to connect people like me with other youth workers who serve in similar contexts or think about ministry in the same ways. Through my new friend Jeremy at reThink, I met a bunch of youth workers at Orange. I’m pumped to engage these men and women in conversation about how exactly we do this work God has called us to. I love collaboration.
5. Shared Wisdom
For me, the best moment of Orange was Andy Stanley and Reggie Joiner demonstrating how to talk to middle school students about same sex attraction. This is obviously a conversation in which many churches have dropped the ball. The mantra I walked away with is this: “We believe the church should be the safest place for students experiencing same sex attraction.” I’m in for struggling toward this goal.
6. Strategy
I could talk strategy all night. Specifically, I love to sit around with student ministry workers and discuss how to do what we do better. I love to dream, evaluate, fret, deconstruct, and tinker with concepts and practices. The Orange Conference is an excellent place to do this.
7. Restoration
I’ll be honest, I limped into the Orange Conference this year. It’s been a beast of a year. I’m in a new and challenging role, we opened high school ministry on a new campus, hired 4 new staff, battled through the worst winter in recent history (which translated into numerous cancellations and a momentum free fall). A week ago, a ll I really wanted was June because June means the ministry regular season is over. And yet, somehow, someway, through food trucks, laughter, imparted value, collaboration, shared wisdom, and strategery sessions, I’m back in the ring itching for a fight. I’ve fallen back in love with my work, my team and the struggle of passing on faith to the next generation.
Here’s to you reThink for an “eptastic” week. And for the rest of you, let’s meet up in Atlanta next April.
static hair photo credited to Jeff Latimer via Flickr
Our student ministry is currently in a teaching series called Selfie.
It’s all about identity–who we are and how we think about ourselves. For imagery, we’ve focused on social media. It’s been fun and at times hilarious. Here’s a video our team made about how we would look if we acted like we do on social media in real life. I love the Facebook feed part…gets me every time. Enjoy!
Social Media In Real Life from LifeLine Student Ministries on Vimeo.
My kids love to make art. They are forever coloring pictures, writings stories, and drawing on walls and floors. Any attempt at a formal dinner on my kitchen table feel laughable because of the many marker lines covering the surface. It’s one thing to color outside the lines but outside the paper? Come on!
One time, I came home from work and my oldest daughter had tatted herself and her little brother from head to toe with non-washable markers. It was a good lesson on permanence. “When you get old, that nonsense you drew on your forehead will be droopy, discolored nonsense. Oh, and you’ll never get a job looking like that.”
I wish I could be as fearlessly creative as my kids. They are so proud of their scribbling and plot-less stories. Let’s be honest, in terms of actual art, their stuff is terrible. No one is going to buy it. It’s not going to win any awards. Most people would just throw it in the trash–but not me.
To me, my kids’ art is priceless. My children made this stuff. One way or another, an idea crept into their heads and they put it to paper. I think it’s beautiful. I have it pinned up in my office. I save them to my phone. I put them on the walls of my house. I’ve literally framed a drawing or two.
I also make other people look at my kids’ art all the time. Maybe some of your friends do this to you.
“Hey check out what my kid drew.”
“You already showed me 9 times.”
“Did I? OK, I’ll show you again in an hour.”
The thing is, there is immense confidence in this artwork. My kids feel free to make art and shamelessly show it off because they feel safe in their relationship with their mom and dad. They don’t have to prove anything. They never say, “I should probably tear this up because it’s terrible.” “This portrait of me doesn’t have a torso. I should probably postpone drawing until I learn proper proportions.” No way! They just plow ahead, pinning their stuff up on every available wall space, sometimes by-passing the pinning and drawing directly on the walls themselves.
So what changes? Why aren’t adults like this? There is no way in heck you’ll find one of my drawings up on the wall of my office. I mean, some people do this sort of thing but they are called artists. The rest of us are convinced that we aren’t good enough. And, this is exactly how we live our lives. We aren’t confident enough in our abilities, talents, passions and dreams to really step out and speak or draw, or jump, or even move. We are too afraid that who we are isn’t good enough. What will people say? What will they think about me?
We are paralyzed by fear. I think we all function more like children than we realize. We don’t feel secure, therefore we don’t live out our true identities. I would argue that what the world needs is exactly what we don’t seem to be capable of doing. The world needs people who fearlessly live out who they are created to be.
The truth is that if I am a follower of Jesus, I already possess all the security and love I need. I am a son of the King. I have nothing to prove. There is no reason to fear. If I already have the approval of the One who made everything, why do I care so much about what the people around me think? He’s already proud of me.
Maybe God is like a parent who adores his child’s artwork. Maybe he isn’t concerned about the proportions, details and stray marker trails all over the kitchen table. Maybe He’s more concerned about fearlessly expressing the talents He’s entrusted to us.
What the world needs is for me and for you to start making some art. What if we stepped out in confidence and began speaking, acting, loving, creating, singing, and building with fearless confidence? What does God want to do through your life that you’re simply too afraid to start? Maybe He’s asking you to be brave and make some art.
photo credited to Kate Ter Haar via Flickr
Tuesday night is my free evening. My wife attends a bible study and after I put the kids to bed I can do whatever I want. It’s a beautiful thing. It’s a perfect opportunity to write, relax and recharge. But tonight, I’m eating Cool Whip right out of the tub and playing a video game that isn’t that great. The Cool Whip isn’t even thawed. I just pulled it out of the freezer and started eating it. It tastes good, like a cloud of sugar–one of those big fluffy clouds that patrol the sky on hot summer days.
It strikes me, as I sit here, mindlessly eating frozen Cool Whip, that I am, in fact, eating frozen Cool Whip. What am I doing? Then I realize that my shoulder hurts because I’ve been sitting in an awkward position eating Cool Whip and playing a lame video game for hours. Yes, I’m embarrassed to say, hours. Why am I spending my free evening so mindlessly? This is what strikes me as I sit with an aching shoulder and a developing stomach ache. I’d like a redo on my Tuesday night.
I’m tired. It’s April and our student ministry team has been steadily pouring ourselves out all year long. It’s been leading, writing, filming, counseling, editing, teaching, leading worship, traveling, mentoring, trouble-shooting, serving, setting up, tearing down, staying up late, getting up early, navigating crises, training, calming down parents, prodding parents, meeting deadlines, reviewing, confronting, encouraging, intervening, worrying, producing, acting, and managing on repeat since late last summer. I’m tired–very tired. When I look around our office during our team meetings I can see the weariness in all of our faces. It’s been a great season of ministry but we are all coasting to the finish line like cars running on fumes, praying we make it to the gas station at the next exit. Will we make it? I think so. I hope so.
My suspicion is that I’m not alone. We’re all tired. If you are a youth worker, you are exhausted. Maybe you thought it was just you. You aren’t alone.
I remember, early in my career, at the end of a season like this, thinking that maybe I wasn’t cut out for student ministry. Maybe the profound exhaustion I feel is an indicator that this line of work isn’t for me. Maybe you feel that way. Maybe you don’t like people right now. Maybe you feel like hiding. Maybe all you can think about is summer with less programming and more sand and sun. Maybe you ate Cool Whip out of the tub last night. This doesn’t mean you aren’t cut out for student ministry. It simply means that you’re tired.
The danger here is that tired doesn’t fix itself. Tired people become exhausted people. Exhausted people burnout. Youth workers who are called, gifted and wired for student ministry run out of steam and drop out of the game all the time. I’m realizing that when I catch myself eating Cool Whip out of the tub it’s time for a day off. It’s time to delegate a responsibility, cancel a meeting or schedule something that I love. That’s why I’m going to quit early tomorrow night and play beach volleyball with a few friends.
Are you tired? Been eating Cool Whip? Please take a step back and rest. Go do something you love and recharge your batteries. Your students need you–fully energized and engaged. You were called, gifted and wired to do this. Stay in the game.
An appropriate alternate title for this video would be: “Al Ate Pixie Sticks For Breakfast.” This is another great example of why Al would be just as great in front of the camera as he is behind it. Enjoy
Announcement: Camp Lifeline from LifeLine Student Ministries on Vimeo.
The other night I had a panic attack. You see, my daughter told me that her best friends are in love. They kissed on the lips at recess and danced. SCANDAL! If you’re wondering, my daughter is in kindergarten….well, she was. Now she’s home-schooled.
Someday, a LONG time from now I’d like for my daughters to fall in love. Maybe. Wait. Never mind. OK, I want them to fall in love but not until they’re like 40. OK, fine. I want them to fall in love but it has to be with someone who is worthy of them. Forget it. No one ever will be.
Sigh. Alright, alright, someday I’ll let my daughters date but these guys had better not hurt them or else I’ll track them down and dispatch them with a flurry of vicious rhetoric.
Hypothetically, if I were to let my daughter date, I’d really only have one requirement. See, I’m not that demanding. It’s just one little thing. He must treasure her. He must treat her like she is the most valuable person in his life. What would this look like practically? I came up with a list:
Here’s the problem. I know she is worth it but she doesn’t. In my experience, most girls don’t understand how valuable they are. Our culture convinces girls that their worth is based on how they look and what boys think about them. It scares me to death that my daughters will grow up comparing themselves to the girls on magazine covers. It terrifies me that her self-image might be dependent on what some teenage boy says about her.
So, how do you convince your daughter that she is valuable? How do you convince her that she is worth more than what she looks like? I think it’s a constant battle. It is repeated conversations. She needs to be told over and over again. But, while words are crucial, it’s important to remember that kids learn far more from observing than being told. Fathers teach their daughters what value is all about in the ways that they talk about, and look at women . Girls, even little girls, pick up on the subtlest expressions. Whatever is in your heart, she will pick up on it.
From what I have learned, if I want to convince my daughter that she is worth being treasured, I need to treasure her mother. My daughter is building expectations around her parents’ relationship. She will experience a gravitational pull toward the kind of man I am. I need to compliment my wife and my daughters on more than their looks and clothes. Essentially, I need to treat my wife and my daughter exactly how I want her future boyfriend to treat her. I must treasure them. She will come to expect and desire what she knows and has experienced.
So, dads, we have a monumental task before us. If you want your daughter to successfully navigate the minefield that is our culture, if you want her to end up with a man who loves her like she deserves, you need to treasure your wife and your daughter. She’s smarter than you think. If she is in middle school, she is already more relationally perceptive than you are. You can’t fool her. Love the women in your life authentically. Start now.
photo credited to Rodrigo Amorim via Flickr
I’m not usually the guy who sits around pondering poetry and song lyrics, snapping my fingers at the profundity of people’s thoughts but the other day a song captured me. I was in my usual spot at my favorite Starbucks, with my mug of dark roast, attempting to write curriculum for our student ministry. For me, writing always requires a soundtrack. On a whim, I was listening to U2 which is odd because I haven’t intentionally listened to U2 in a long time. It’s not that I don’t like them, it’s just that I sort of lost interest after the Joshua Tree album. As I sat there, getting reacquainted with Bono, the Edge and the other guys in the band who apparently have normal names, a song struck me. In particular, a chunk of lyrics grabbed my attention. They were from the song Cedars of Lebanon.
Choose your enemies carefully, ’cause they will define you
Make them interesting ’cause in some ways they will mind you
They’re not there in the beginning but when your story ends
Gonna last with you longer than your friends
There are good and bad kinds of enemies. What we are fighting for will often define the quality and direction of our lives. Choosing the right enemies can bring meaning and purpose. Choosing the wrong enemies opens the door to bitterness, envy and pettiness.
This song returned me to a painful question. What am I fighting? A few years ago, my family and I were fighting injustice, abandonment and trafficking in Ukraine. It wasn’t a war but it was a fight to save one life. When we were in the midst of that battle, it defined our lives. It consumed our thoughts, our free time, our finances and our conversations. Looking back, those were healthy days in which we had a singular focus. We were fighting for something incredibly meaningful and we didn’t have time to waste because we had a fight on our hands.
We lost that battle, or at least part of it. It was the most painful experience of my life. For the last year, I’ve felt like a defeated boxer, having just lifted himself off the mat, stumbling around the ring, fighting through a concussive haze in an attempt to orient himself. I haven’t exactly figured things out but I know my life has lost some purpose. I think it’s because I need to redefined what I’m fighting for. I need an enemy. I need a cause that will define my life, something worth fighting that will define my story.
Lives lived well teeter on the edge of focus and desperation because they are fueled by passion and that passion is often ignited by pain. He saw something in Africa that wouldn’t leave him alone. She experienced something that no on should have to experience. He lost someone. She visited that place.
What are you fighting? What enemy or battle defines your life so profoundly that it will be with you in the end? I hope it isn’t something petty or self-centered. At my funeral, I want it to be said that I fought a good enemy, that I poured out my life for something meaningful and lasting.
If you’re interested in the details of my fight, here’s the story:
http://www.aaronbuer.com/when-injustice-gets-personal/
http://www.aaronbuer.com/when-injustice-gets-personal-part-2/
http://www.aaronbuer.com/when-injustice-gets-personal-part-3/
http://www.aaronbuer.com/when-injustice-gets-personal-part-4/
http://www.aaronbuer.com/a-spy-mission-and-a-broken-heart/
photo credited to viedrie via Free Images
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