Uncategorized - Aaron Buer

Why I Love Orphan Ministry

If there’s something followers of Jesus ought to care about it’s orphans. Check out James 1:27. I must confess that I never really cared about orphans until I met an organization called Radooga. Orphan ministry in Ukraine has transformed me. I’ll never look at the world the same again.

Recently, Radooga posted this video about partnering with local churches to impact the lives of orphans. I’d love it if you watched it. Also, Radooga’s orphan camp ministry would be a fantastic mission experience for church. Just sayin…

7 Reasons You Should Do a Youth Group Reunion Event

One of my passions in student ministry is to remove the cliff–the graduation cliff. Student ministry is at it’s best when it bridges high school and adulthood. I’m done with the days of graduating students and forgetting about them. That was one of my greatest mistakes as a new youth worker. Now, I believe in equipping students for the transition to adulthood and setting them up with mentors to walk with them through the process.

One of the ways we work toward this goal is hosting a reunion event over Christmas break. Basically we’ve invited all of our 2013 graduates and their small group leaders back for an event. I’m so pumped for this event that I’ve come up with 7 reasons why you should do it too.

1. Reconnect Students and Mentors

The best reason for putting on a reunion event is to reconnect students with their mentors. Our graduates, even though they are freshmen in college, still need quality adults in their lives to mentor them. And, truthfully our adult mentors need students in their life too. Mentoring brings life to both sides. Anyone who has ever mentored a student knows this is true. You always get more out of it than you give.

Relationships are the key to growth. Rekindling the relationship between students and mentors is reason enough to do a reunion event.

2. Evaluate Your Ministry

Getting graduates together for a reunion event is a great opportunity to listen. We are very intentional about creating a curriculum for our senior class that will help them transition. Did the curriculum work? A reunion event is a chance to ask our graduates, “What surprised you? What do you wish you would have known? How could we have prepared you better?”

If many of your graduates are struggling in their faith maybe it’s time to rethink how you are doing student ministry. But, you’ll never know unless you ask students who have graduated out of your ministry.

3. Reorient Your Graduates

A reunion event is a great opportunity to speak truth to your graduates. Getting them together over Christmas is like speaking to students at Winter Retreat. They are out of their normal environment. They are more open to truth. They are evaluating their first semester choices. Take advantage of this to remind your graduates of what is important.

4. You Still Belong

It’s terribly disorienting to go off to college. Even after only one semester, your hometown feels different. Church doesn’t quite feel like home anymore. You’re not really welcome in the student ministry and your old friendships have changed. A reunion event is a great way to tell your graduates that they are still a valued member of the community. They still belong. Their small group leaders and mentors still care about them.

5. Evaluate Your Church/Ministry Recommendations

One of the things we do in our student ministry is connect each of our graduates with a church or ministry wherever they are going after high school. Our goal is that the church or ministry would connect with them before they arrive on campus.

A reunion event is a great time to ask about these recommendations. Were a few of your recommendations duds? It would be good to know. I love it when a student falls in love with a new church in their college town. That is a great feeling!

6. Encourage Your Graduates to Plug In

So maybe a few of your recommendations were duds. Or, maybe you didn’t make any recommendations. Get on it for next year!

We know how crucial community is to growth. A reunion event is a good opportunity to remind our graduates of how important community is. Encourage them to plug in. Maybe Christmas break is new opportunity to help them find a good ministry.

7. Remind Yourself of the Goal of Student Ministry

Hanging out with graduates of your student ministry will force you to grapple with the outcome of your work. It isn’t about numbers. It isn’t about great bands, environments or talks. It’s about students pursuing Jesus after leaving your ministry.

Listening to graduates talk about the joys and struggles of life after high school will help you better understand what topics you need to address while they are still in high school. It will remind you of the importance of mentors. It will remind you of how powerful inter-generational church is. It will remind you of the goal of all we do and will help you reorient your practices around these goals.

So, schedule a student ministry reunion event. There’s still time and your graduates will be bored over Christmas break anyway. It doesn’t have to be fancy. Bring together your graduates and their small group leaders. Encourage them, listen to them and reorient them. I’d love to hear your thoughts on how it went.

Why I Care About Ukraine

If you’re like me you barely noticed that there have been protests and violence in Kiev, Ukraine. Most of the time news like this only holds my attention for the 2 seconds it takes to read the headline and think to myself, “Wow. Another country going crazy. Where’s the sports section?”

For me, this situation is different. In fact, I’m supposed to be in Kiev right now, staying in an apartment overlooking the square where the largest of the protests have been taking place. The truth is, I’ve fallen in love with Ukraine, mostly against my will. I can’t say that I’ve fallen in love with borscht but I did fall in love with the church in Ukraine and the orphans that it is struggling to serve. You can read all about my experiences, including our failed adoption in a series of posts titled: When Injustice Gets Personal.

A LITTLE HISTORY

If you haven’t been paying attention or if you’re still in a turkey coma, the people of Ukraine are rising up. You see, Ukraine has been oppressed long enough. The last 500 years have not been good to this nation and you’d be hard-pressed to find a country more devastated by the 20th century than Ukraine. I’m no expert on Eastern European history but here’s a quick summary:

As WWI broke out, Ukrainians were caught on both sides of the conflict. Some were fighting for the Russians and some for the Central Powers. In essence, it was Ukrainians fighting against each other. Civilians on both sides were victimized and killed. After the Russian army collapsed and the Bolshevik Revolution began, Ukraine fell to pieces. The conflict is so confusing, with so many different armies and political organizations fighting for power that I can’t keep it all straight. The end result was that most of Ukraine fell into the hands of the Soviets and parts of Western Ukraine were annexed by Poland. To be sure, the country suffered terribly.

Once Stalin consolidated his power he began implementing the cruel system of communism. During 1932 and 1933, somewhere between 3 and 7 million Ukrainians died of starvation during a terrible famine. Meanwhile, most of the grain produced in Ukraine was exported to other parts of the Soviet Empire. Some historians have argued that there was plenty of grain and this was deliberate genocide orchestrated by the Soviets. These events have been called the Holodomor which means “extermination by hunger.” Deliberate or not, millions of people died of starvation. We’ve never seen suffering of this magnitude in the United States. I visited the memorial to these events last summer in Kiev and was stunned.

Ukraine suffered terribly during WWII. 16.8% of the population was killed in the conflict. 5.2 million civilians were killed as the Germans and Soviets battled back and forth through the country, devastating the country as they retreated. Entire cities were destroyed. The countryside was burned to nothing by both armies.

By comparison, approximately .3% of the American population was killed during WWII. Almost 20% of the population of Ukraine was killed in WWII and this was after the suffering of 1932 and 1933. The numbers are not even comparable. This level of suffering and devastation escapes my understanding.

From WWII until the early 1990s Ukrainians lived under Soviet oppression–lack of freedom, no rights, secret police, massive corruption and constant fear. And now, although “free,” Ukraine is a society riddled by corruption and poverty. Based on national resources alone, Ukraine ought to be a world power. Instead the nation is struggling terribly. Part of this is inevitable after the devastation of the 20th century and part of this is due to mismanagement by the nation’s leadership.

All of this breaks my heart and makes me angry. And yet, I don’t have a clue what it is really like. I don’t live in Ukraine. I don’t have to pay bribes to the police. I don’t know what it’s like to suffer like the Ukrainians have over the last 100 years.. All I know is that it is wrong. This is unjust. People shouldn’t have to live like this. This is not what God intended.

THE PROTESTS

Now, when it appeared that Ukraine was about to create stronger ties with the European Union which would have meant greater traveling freedom for the people, international pressure for the end of corruption and wider economic opportunity, their president, under pressure from Russia breaks off the deal. The people are protesting. Hundreds of thousands of people are demanding a reversal on the EU deal and new elections. Wouldn’t you? Wasn’t our own country born as people demanded freedom and stood up against injustice?

But, the truth is that Ukraine is a country deeply divided. For the most part, those in Western Ukraine speak Ukrainian and want stronger ties with Europe and those in the south and east speak Russian and want stronger ties with Russia. The nation is not united. There is no quick political solution to this quagmire. In fact, I’m not sure there can be any political fix to appease everyone and end the corruption.

THE CHURCH

So, is there no hope for Ukraine? Is it doomed? I don’t think so. In my opinion, the hope for Ukraine is the church. The church is the presence of Jesus in Ukraine. What I do believe in is the community of Jesus I have met in Ukraine. I believe in Oleg, Lena, Sergei and others and the work they are doing to introduce students to Jesus and empower the younger generation toward a society marked by compassion and justice. I believe in Alina and Anya who have quit their jobs to establish a ministry to love orphan kids and help them find a healthy place in Ukrainian society. I believe in Slavic and Sasha who invite orphans into their churches and connect them with mentors. The church in Ukraine is alive. It is growing. It is gaining influence because of generosity and love–because of the Gospel.

The church has transformed cultures and nations many times since the time of Jesus. I believe it can happen again in Ukraine. Jesus is the hope of the world and He is the hope for Ukraine. My prayer is that the people of Ukraine would continue to rise up and demand justice and that the government would respond appropriately but even more than that, I pray that the church of Ukraine would rise up and live with generosity, love and justice. You, church, are the light of the world because of the presence and power of Jesus. Be the light.

image credited to markwinnipeg

You Were Born to Obsess

Worship is something that we talk about all the time at church. We’re always singing. Every time we get together its 3 or 4 songs about God. Worship is core to who we are as followers of Jesus. But it’s deeper than that.

Worship is core to who we are as people—whether we are followers of Jesus or not. We are always worshiping. How do I know this? Because we are constantly freaking out about stuff. We are forever going overboard. We are prone to obsessions.

PRONE TO OBSESS

Are you a football fan? I don’t mean you occasionally watch football. You schedule your Saturdays and Sundays around football. When your team is playing you plan your day around the game. You get a text from your friends asking you to go to a movie, dinner or to go see the alien spaceship that just landed at the end of your street and you’re like, “Uh, sounds fun but I gotta watch my team.”

Or maybe for you it isn’t football. Maybe it’s a movie, a book or a series of books and movies like Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Star Wars the Hunger Games or Twilight. When the newest movie comes out (cough Girl on Fire) you wait in line for hours to see the very first showing and you’re wearing a costume! You know everything there is to know about the series. You know all the characters, their special powers, what their weapon of choice is, and what their favorite flavor of ice cream is. You have a poster of Edward in your room! You are a HUGE fan. You might say you worship Star Wars or Twilight.

Or maybe you’re a gamer. You play Call of Duty, Battlefield, Halo, Final Fantasy or something like that. When the newest game in the series comes out you will be (air quotes) “sick” on that day and be forced, against your will to stay home from school and play ALL DAY. You are so into CoD or Halo that you might say you worship it. Or at least the 5000 hours of game play and your golden assault rifle would argue that you do.

Or maybe you aren’t a gamer, a nerd or a football fan but wow is that guy in English class attractive. In fact, he’s so good looking that you’ve thought of nothing else for the last…when did school start again? And you think to yourself, if only he was mine! Then I would be happy…and you continue to obsess over him and occasionally stalk his Instagram. You think about him so much in fact that your friends would say that you worship him.

WHAT IS WORSHIP?

We worship all the time. We were created to worship. How do you know if you are worshiping? Is your attention captivated? Does your heartbeat pick up? You might be worshiping.

When we devote ourselves to something we are probably worshiping. It’s the difference between using Google search for 5 minutes to find information for a school project and using Google search for 5 hours to scour for information on the possible characters and plots of the new Star Wars movie coming out in 2015.

GUILT TRIP

I know what you’re thinking. So, now it’s time for the guilt trip. It’s wrong that I like video games. I shouldn’t have that Edward poster in my room and now I feel bad for saying that guy in English class is hot. Nope. No guilt trip. I’m not saying it’s wrong to get excited or even a little obsessed with stuff. God has given us a lot of great things that He wants us to enjoy–like Starbucks.

The issue, is whether or not something is worthy to be worshiped and whether or not our affections are in the right place. I just wonder if what we spend our time worshiping is really worth all that devotion and passion. Because…

Football…let’s be honest for a second. Football is actually a bunch of guys wearing really tight pants running around chasing a ball.

And Twilight…[whispering] vampires aren’t real. Werewolves aren’t real. Stop freaking out about it.

And Call of Duty…no matter what way you slice it, you still just spent 12 hours straight in your mom’s basement. I’m just saying.

And that hot guy…he’s human. The truth is he’s like you. He drools in his sleep and gets a little gassy after eating Qdoba. He’s human–a really good looking human, but he’s human.

When you get to the core of what we are so obsessed with it kind of feels dumb. The question is: are the people and things we are so devoted to really worth our time and attention? Is what we are worshiping worthy of our worship?

WHAT THEY DO IN HEAVEN

Let’s take a field trip to heaven. Weird, I know but I’m serious. The very last book in the Bible contains visions of heaven. It’s pretty wild stuff but I want to look at what they do in heaven.

Revelation 5:11-13

Then I looked and heard the voice of many angels, numbering thousands upon thousands, and ten thousand times ten thousand. They encircled the throne and the living creatures and the elders. In a loud voice they were saying:

“Worthy is the Lamb, who was slain,
to receive power and wealth and wisdom and strength
and honor and glory and praise!”

Then I heard every creature in heaven and on earth and under the earth and on the sea, and all that is in them, saying:

“To him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb
be praise and honor and glory and power,
for ever and ever!”

Angels, 10,000 x 10,000…if you’re not strong at math, that’s 2 million wings. 1 million beings are constantly worshiping Jesus because of what He has done for humanity.

In the previous chapter the author of Revelation describes a scene in which angels sing:

“Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty,’ who was, and is, and is to come.”

And they sing this all day everyday…forever. Now that’s some serious worship. These people really know how to do church.

WORTHY

The truth is that there is nothing or no one in our lives who is more worthy of worship than God. He created everything. He set the universe in motion. He hung the planets. He invented all the animals and He breathed life into us.

He is infinitely powerful. There is nothing He cannot do. He is perfect in every way. He is justice and love. He is infinitely creative and good.

And, when we rebelled against Him, He rescued us from ourselves and from the disaster we had created. He became a man and died in our place to restore us to Him.

This is God. This is why they praise Him constantly in heaven. This is why the angels never cease singing. He is AMAZING. There is nothing like Him. Absolutely nothing can compare to the majesty, power and love of our God.

I’m not saying you need to burn your Twilight poster, crack your CoD game in half or stop having a crush on that guy on English class. I’m simply saying that maybe we need to create space in our lives for the One who is infinitely more worthy of our worship. You see, you were created to worship Him. There is a very real sense in which life is as it is supposed to be when we are worshiping God. Life is found when our affections are focused on Him.

How to Parent a College Freshman

5 minutes ago you were changing their diaper and rocking them to sleep. Now, they are visiting colleges or already working toward their college degree. Time flies.

As a parent, the game changes when your child begins college. Your kids still need you but they need you in different ways. You must learn to adapt.

DISORIENTED

For a student, the first semester of college is incredibly disorienting. Everything is new and unfamiliar. What used to be automatic is now complicated. What used to be done for you is now your responsibility. The workload is impossible. The social scene is foreign. The temptations are new and the churches are weird. The first semester of college might as well be Mars.

College freshman feel lost between two worlds. A few months ago they were kids. Mom did their laundry and made their meals. They aren’t quite adults either. They can still sleep in until noon and play video games all night. Nevertheless they feel lost and it will be a very long time until a college student truly feels like a “real” adult.

Because of this, college freshmen will fluctuate between moments of impressive maturity and forehead slapping immaturity. It’s the nature of the transition. This sort of thing doesn’t happen overnight. There will be crashes, tears, triumphs and setbacks.

NEW ROLES

College can be as confusing for parents as it is for students. What exactly is your role now? The signals are confusing. She calls me crying. He wants money. She screams, “This is my life!” He has a new girlfriend who I’ve never even met.

I believe that college students want and need their parents more than they often let on. The support they want and need looks different than it did when they lived at home but it is crucial nonetheless. Here’s my advice on how to parent a college freshman…

1. A Retreat

Nearly everything about college is foreign and new. It’s all a bit too unsettling and disorienting. In the midst of this, home holds within it everything that is familiar and comfortable. A weekend at home can reorient and recharge.

Many parents quickly transform their college student’s room into an office or spare bedroom. Please don’t do this. You’re taking away your son or daughter’s retreat to the familiar. Even simply knowing that their childhood room still exists can be a comfort.

2. Communicate on Their Terms

You may feel that your college student is delusional when they talk about how busy they are. Just wait until you have a full-time job and children! But, they still feel overwhelmed and perception is reality.

We have to understand that their communication with us will be sporadic and sometimes curt. This doesn’t mean they don’t want to hear from you. In fact, they desperately need to hear from you. They are simply learning to navigate the busiest schedule they have ever managed.

Leave them static communications that they can get to in their own time. Text. Leave a voice mail. Send a care package or snail mail. Communicate regularly, even when you don’t hear back. Encourage your kids, let them know you believe in them and care about them. They are listening and they need you.

3. Don’t Get Offended

Your child is interacting with all kinds of new information. He is meeting people from different backgrounds. She’s sitting under the teaching of professors from entirely different worldviews.

It’s very likely that your son or daughter will come home in a few months and share some new ideas that you will not like. Do you best to restrain yourself from intellectually destroying your son or daughter’s new ideas. Most likely they haven’t changed their entire belief system. They are exploring. They are attempting to reconcile what they have always known with what they are learning.

The truth is, if you did a good job of building their worldview when they were a child they will be fine. If you didn’t, now isn’t the time to pounce all over their independent thinking. You will only drive them away.

4. Advice Instead of Decrees

With all that said, college freshmen still need direction and you are still their parents. However, the game has changed. You aren’t in a position to “ground” them or take away their allowance. Instead of making decrees shift to advice. Share stories from your life. Ask for permission to share your opinions. In short, treat them like they are an adult. Doing this communicates respect. Your kids still want your opinions and advice but they want to be treated like an equal.

To recap, college is exhilarating and disorienting. Your college student still desperately needs you but they need you in new and different ways. My hope and prayer is that you courageously adapt and engage.

Is Your Church Too Happy?

I recently read that one of the big reasons college aged Christians are walking away from the church is doubt. What I mean is that they never openly wrestled with their doubts. They were never given space or permission to do so. As they struggled with doubts privately the power of their doubts grew. And, I suspect, the people who finally gave them permission to confess their doubts also had a hand in dismantling their faith.

We have a problem. Our student ministry, church and family cultures do not provide permission and space for doubt. We have stigmatized doubt. We have given it a bad rep and outlawed it in our ministry contexts. Church is all smiles and praise. If you are doubting you simply need more faith. Please leave your sadness, doubt and pain at the door. It isn’t welcome in our smiley service.

The problem with this approach is that it is unrealistic. It isn’t real life. It only represents half of what we experience as humans. Let’s be real. It’s fake and plastic.

THE SAD PSALMS

The psalms were the song book of the Jewish nation. They were the songs of worship for the people of God. Here’s the thing, if you read the psalms you’re going to come across a lot of raw emotion. Most of it isn’t positive either. There’s a whole lot of, “Where the heck are you God?” There’s a bunch of “God I don’t understand and really don’t like what You’re doing.” And even a little, “I wish I was dead because my life sucks!”

Maybe our student ministry and church environments are a little too polished and smiley. They surely aren’t representative of what we find in the psalms. Could it be that we need to make space for the darker emotions? Research is showing that this generation of students is perhaps the most depressed generation in our nation’s history. What are we doing to meet these kids where they are? Maybe it’s time to reintroduce our students to the raw emotion and struggle of the psalms.

PERMISSION TO STRUGGLE

What our students and children need is the freedom to confess what they don’t understand and don’t believe with adults and spiritual mentors who care about them and will process with them. Doubts are like sins in that when they are dragged out into the light they lose their power over us. There is life and hope in the light.

DOUBT AND LAMENT

What if we taught our students from the psalms of doubt and lament? What if we empowered them to pray as David prayed—with passion and angst? What if we gave them permission to verbalize or at least write down their doubts? What if we led them in songs of lament? What if we recaptured the energy and life of the psalms in our student ministry contexts?

I believe that if we teach our students how to engage their doubts and disappointments while providing them with mentors who will walk with them through these experiences we will see a sharp decline in students walking away from the church. If we remove the shame associated with doubt and the darker emotions we’ll give our students the freedom to be real and authentic.

We must find a way to engage our students in their doubts now while they are still within the orbits of our ministries and volunteers. Maybe the psalms are the key.

Maybe it’s time to reintroduce the psalms of doubt and lament.

image credited to Can’t Think

Speaking Light

I grew up going to church from a young age. As a little kid we used to sing this old song. Perhaps you know it. It goes like this:

“This little light of mine. I’m gonna let it shine. Hide it under a bushel. No! I’m gonna let it shine.”

Like most songs I sang as a kid I had no idea what this song was about. First off, what the heck is a bushel? I actually thought the word was bush which was weird because I kept imagining sticking a candle in a bush and watching the whole thing burst into flames…which of course would have been awesome.

Mostly, I just enjoyed shouting “NO! I’m gonna let it shine!” as loudly as I could. All little kids love shouting “NO!”

I learned much later that this goofy old song actually has roots in the Bible and coincidentally has nothing to do with setting stuff on fire. The words actually come from Jesus. In what scholars call the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus said these words to his followers:

“You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden.

YOU ARE THE LIGHT

Jesus often referred to Himself as the light of the world, which makes sense because He is the Messiah. Through Him is forgiveness and life and peace with God. He is the hope of the world.

But here, Jesus refers to His followers as the light of the world. Essentially, he’s saying to you and me—you are the light of the world. Wait what? How does this work? Because I don’t know about you but I don’t often feel like a light.

According to Jesus, I do have something to offer. You do too. Why? Because we have a relationship with the Savior. We know the Messiah. The truth is that you’ve experienced Jesus in ways no one else has. Jesus has shown up in your life in ways that He hasn’t shown up in mine.

The way you’ve experienced Jesus is something no one else knows—unless you talk about it. You see, talking about Jesus and what He has done for you is a way of being a light.

WE NEED EACH OTHER

The truth is, we need each other. We were not meant to pursue Jesus alone. Community is crucial.

Recently, I realized that every significant decision in my life—every significant moment of spiritual growth, came out of a conversation.

I learned that God loves me and wants to rescue me because someone told me
I stopped manipulating girls in dating relationships because a friend explained to me the damage I was doing and how to stop it.
I pursued student ministry because someone told me that I could be a good youth pastor.

All the significant growth moments of my life began with a conversation.

I understand what Jesus was talking about with this whole “light and city on a hill” thing because I’ve experienced it—I’ve seen how it works in my life. The words of God’s people can be a light to the people around them.

HEARING LIGHT

So, who is speaking light into your life? Are you hearing more light or darkness from your friends? Are there Jesus followers who you could become closer with? We all need to hear some light.

The times in my life when I have struggled the most are the times in which I didn’t have friends and mentors speaking light into my life. The times I was too lazy or stubborn to pursue community were the times I drifted away from God.

Who is speaking light into your life?

SPEAKING LIGHT

My second question is this: who are you speaking light to? Going back to Jesus’ words from the Sermon on the Mount.

Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.

You have something meaningful and special. Share it! Don’t hide it! The truth is, the world needs you. You have something that no one can argue with. It’s your experience with Jesus. The ways He has brought life, healing and purpose to your life is something we need to hear about.

We weren’t meant to pursue Jesus alone. It’s impossible. We need each other. The Jesus community is not as strong as it should be without you speaking up. We need to hear your story. We need to hear your encouragement. We need you to challenge us.

Shine your light. The world needs you. We need you.

image credited to nuwandalice

New LifeLine Video: Mission Trips Reveal

This week we revealed our summer mission trips to our student and volunteers with a ridiculous video. I mean, how else would you do it?

Announcement: Knapp & Cascade Mission Trips from LifeLine Student Ministries on Vimeo.

This year we are hoping to send 270 students on mission trips. That’s way too much paper! Have you noticed that some mission organizations require a tree’s worth of paperwork? Thankfully, our resident web genius, Jon VerLee designed this registration page for us which streamlines the process and saves the rainforest.

LifeLine Missions Registrations

If you are a youth worker, when and how do you reveal your mission trips? Also, how do you do registrations and collect paperwork?

Why You Might not Enjoy Talking to Jesus

Growing up, I understood Jesus to sort of be this smiley, tousle your hair grandfather figure. I imaged that talking to Jesus would be like talking to my great grandfather who was fond of gifting me with loose M&Ms out of his shirt pocket as he dished out depression era wisdom. I’ve since learned how weird the M&M thing was and how different Jesus is from my childhood imaginings.

YEAH BUT THOSE HUSBANDS THO…

Recently I reread the Gospels and noticed that Jesus was actually rather awkward in his conversations. What I mean is that He was blunt…really blunt.

One of my favorite scenes of the Gospels is when Jesus talks with the woman at the well. After offering her living water that will never leave her thirsty he says something you just don’t say to someone.

“Go, call your husband and come back.”

I have no husband,” she replied.

“You are right when you say you have no husband.The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband.”

If Jesus’ disciples had been around during this conversation, I imagine they would have pulled Jesus aside and whispered, “You gotta stop. This is uncomfortable!”

And, I love the woman’s response, “’Sir,’ the woman said, ‘I can see that you are a prophet.'”

I’m about as far as it gets from a linguistic expert but my translation of the Greek is basically, “OH CRAP!” Her past has been exposed and she’s uncomfortable. What is it about Jesus? Why does he dig like this?

WHAT ABOUT YOU?

In the Gospel of Matthew there is another awkward conversation in which Jesus asks hard questions.

When Jesus came to the region of Caesarea Philippi, he asked his disciples, “Who do people say the Son of Man is?”

They replied, “Some say John the Baptist; others say Elijah; and still others, Jeremiah or one of the prophets.”

“But what about you?” he asked. “Who do you say I am?”

If I were one of the disciples I would have probably slipped into a nearby cave. What’s up with Jesus being so blunt?

TREASURE IN HEAVEN

In what I would consider to be the most awkward conversation in the Gospels, a young man runs up to Jesus and asks how to get eternal life. Jesus tells him he should obey the commandments. The young man responds by saying he is. Then Jesus drops an awkward bomb.

Looking at him, Jesus felt a love for him and said to him, “One thing you lack: go and sell all you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me.”

Uh…what? Is there a baby step option here?

THIS IS FOR YOU

One thing I know from reading the Gospels is that Jesus is always about others. Everything that he does and says is for the benefit of the people around him. So, there has to be significance to his awkward bluntness. Maybe it’s that Jesus knows that there is no growth without honesty. There is no transformation without truly looking in the mirror. There can’t be freedom without understanding what it is that has you in bondage.

Every awkward conversation I referenced was an opportunity for growth. Jesus forces the woman at the well to admit who she really is. Jesus demands that his followers admit what they really think and believe and Jesus reveals to the young man that he is a slave to money.

I used to believe it was better to mind my own business and I hated it when friends bluntly identified inconsistencies in my life. Now, I’m realizing that maybe awkwardness leads to maturity and bluntness might just be spiritual.

image credited to cowfish

Life According to Oregon Trail

As a kid in elementary school, I lived for one thing: Oregon Trail. I’m not sure I learned anything in the classroom because my mind was constantly wandering off to the computer lab. Nothing my teachers had to say remotely measured up to the captivating power of Oregon Trail. I was obsessed with this game and learned some key life lessons from playing it.

I learned that life is hard.

I learned that hunting is easy.

I learned that the West isn’t nearly as beautiful as you might have supposed.

But most of all, I learned that there is something transformational about a journey.

My favorite kind of story is a travel story. I can’t put down books like Through Painted Deserts by Donald Miller. I planned my own personal hiking adventure 14 times during A Walk in the Woods by Bill Bryson. For days I debated whether or not I could build a time machine after reading about Lewis and Clark in Undaunted Courage by Stephen Ambrose. Oh, and let’s not forget about those few months when I considered selling it all and buying a vintage sail boat while reading, Sailing Alone Around the World by Joshua Slocum—which is a must read by the way. There is something about an epic journey that captivates in a way no other story can.

I guess I should redefine my obsession with journeys a little. I love reading and fantasizing about journeys but I’m actually rather uncomfortable with them in real life. This whole thing about overcoming conflict to get what you want is sort of annoying. The truth is, I want to overcome conflict right now. Actually, I’d rather not have any conflict at all. I’d much prefer to get what I want right when I want it without any sort of conflict.

And yet, I’m beginning to understand that a journey without conflict is rather like a trip to the supermarket. It lacks meaning. Why? Because it doesn’t involved conflict. An old lady stealing your favorite parking spot doesn’t qualify as conflict.

In our culture, we’ve grown accustomed to bypassing or removing all conflict from our lives. We are obsessed with safety and comfort. Don’t get wrong, I appreciate safety and I enjoy a good recliner as much as the next guy but I’m starting to think that removing all possibility of conflict isn’t exactly a good thing.

The truth is that conflict makes you a better person. Conflict provides opportunity for growth that otherwise wouldn’t exist. When my wife and I attempted to adopt an orphan teenager from Ukraine we began a long and exhausting journey that ultimately ended in failure and heartbreak. You might say, we never made it to Oregon. Our covered wagon was swept away in an attempt to ford the Mississippi. If you missed this story, you can start it here.

Stories have the power to deeply move us and some of the most meaningful stories end tragically–think Romeo and Juliet. Sometimes the protagonist doesn’t get what he wants. Sometimes Jenny repeatedly returns to her destructive path and Forrest loses her. The thing is, the story isn’t less meaningful because it didn’t end happily. In fact, you could make an argument that it is more meaningful because it didn’t.

Our adoption story is packed with meaning even though it didn’t end the way we wanted. Because of the pain we’ve grown in meaningful ways Because of our adoption journey we became more compassionate and more resilient. Our children’s eyes were open to the plight of orphans and they began to respond with compassion themselves. Our faith was tested but in the end we learned to trust God more than ever before.

All this is to say that the journey is worth the price–whether you make it to Oregon or not. Who you are on the other side is worth effort and the pain. There is meaning in the conflict. Whether you overcome the conflict or not, there is transformation in the journey.

image credited to oblomberg

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