student ministry | leadership | parenting | life
Last night we kicked off our new teaching series called Wakes. It’s all about influence. I’m pretty pumped about it. Here’s our first teaching video of the series. This is my first attempt in my new role. Let me know what you think.
Wakes – Mission from LifeLine Student Ministries on Vimeo.
There are a lot of great blogs out there. Here are a few of my favorite posts from the past few weeks:
1. I love this post about secretly being an introvert. This was a recent and incredibly freeing discovery for me. Here’s an old post that describes my discovery.
2. I’m a fan of social media and I usually don’t oppose it for students. However, there are two apps that I would like to punch in the face: snapchat and ask.fm. This post by Walt Mueller explains my issues with ask.fm
3. If you are a parent that is thoroughly confused by the apps your children are downloading, this site is for you: http://www.commonsensemedia.org
4. Maybe it’s a good thing if you don’t go to college: http://themattwalshblog.com/2013/08/23/kids-go-to-college-or-youll-die-alone-in-misery/
5. Here is a sobering post on the pervasiveness of pornography: http://www.covenanteyes.com/2013/09/10/10-surprising-pornography-stats
6. I’m very excited about this blog series on teaching students: http://uthmin.net/np-communicating-to-students-1
Enjoy…
A few weeks into this whole blogging thing I wrote a post based on a teaching I gave to our students during our spring sexuality series. The post blew up. Women were posting it all over Facebook, Twitter and even Pintrest. I was shocked and sort of embarrassed about being on Pintrest. I still feel like I lost a few man points there.
The post was all about identity and value. The central idea was, “You are immensely valuable and beautiful because God made you and loves you. Your sexuality is a precious gift. Protect it.” You can read it here if you like.
I received so much positive feedback from this post and I still can’t believe how many people have read and shared it. The question is…why?
THE TRUTH
Here’s the thing: I’m no expert on girls or sexuality. I’m married and have two cute little daughters but I would consider myself to be a novice at understanding girls. I haven’t remotely figured out my wife either. Every time things get emotional at my house you can find me in a corner with a pillow over my head. And don’t even get me started on the ridiculous idea that someday my daughters will want to date.
All this is to say, I really don’t think my blog post went “Pintrest” because I’m an eloquent writer or because I have some newfangled understanding of girls and sexuality. It must be something else.
I think the answer lies in a question: Why do so few girls feel good about themselves? Why are so many girls susceptible to guys who are interested in nothing more than a few hours with their body?
I know that we live in a messed up culture that uses sex to sell everything from cologne to cereal and that girls are conditioned through advertising to find value solely in the way they look but honestly, I’m not sure that culture is the biggest problem.
I CAN’T HEAR YOU
I think the problem has less to do what girls are hearing through culture and more to do with what girls aren’t hearing at home. Why is it that the only guys who are communicating value to girls are men who want to take advantage of them? Where are the fathers, brothers, uncles and grandfathers who are supposed to be communicating value to our girls? This, I believe is the core of the problem.
The feedback I’ve received over and over from girls is: “I wish someone would have told me these things before…” Speaking as a father, we need to start speaking up! Our daughters, nieces, and granddaughters need to be told over and over again that they are beautiful and valuable, that God created them just the way they are on purpose, and that only a guy who will love them on a heart level is worth their time. The first, “you are beautiful” should not come from some punk looking to take advantage of her.
SPEAK UP
I think we are guilty of making assumptions. We believe that somehow our girls just know. We assume that how we feel about them is obvious. It isn’t. In the absence of positive words they assume the worst. Tell her that she is beautiful. Tell her that she is special. Tell her that only guys of the highest quality are worth her time. Tell her that her sexuality is a precious gift. Tell her that you’re proud of her and that God loves her.
God put you in her life to guide her. Speak up. I think you’ll be amazed by how much impact your words will have.
image credited to jjpacres
Doubts are a funny thing. Every person experiences them but very few are willing to wrestle with doubts openly. Many people tend to think that admitting doubts is akin to weakness.
I tend to disagree. I think that the willingness to wrestle with doubts in community is a sign of strength and wisdom.
Every person, whether religious, agnostic or atheist lives in the tension between faith and doubt. Life is full of mystery and hypothesis.
As a follower of Jesus, there are a few realities that keep me coming back. There are phenomenon that overshadow my doubts. I’m confident that I’ll never walk away from Jesus because of explosions, blood, genocide and music.
EXPLOSIONS
Nearly everyone agrees that the universe began with an astronomically powerful explosion. I’m no astrophysicist but this makes a lot of sense to me. A massive explosion like this would have produced an immense amount of light. Light, in fact, that is still traveling outward. The book of Genesis describes it this way:
And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light. (Genesis 1)
Here’s the thing, I just don’t understand explosions coming out of nowhere. I don’t buy the theory that particles, substances and gases simply existed. In the way I understand the universe, something or someone must have caused the explosion.
BLOOD
In my opinion, there are certain processes and mechanisms within the human body that demand intelligent design. One example is blood clotting. I’ve noticed that a leak in my skin is different from a leak in the oil pan of my car. If I cut my toe, my blood doesn’t all drain out. That would be a lame way to die.
What happens is that my body magically closes up the wound and I only lose a small portion of my blood. And yet, my blood clots only a tiny bit because if it clotted too much I would also die from a stroke or aneurism. So, too much clotting or not enough clotting on a minor wound would lead to death. How does something like this naturally evolve without someone designing or guiding the process? At every step in the evolutionary process of blood clotting humans would have died out.
GENOCIDE
If there is no God then there is no objective standard of morality. If there is no objective standard of morality then no one can tell anyone else what is right or wrong. The problem with this is that even those who only believe in naturalistic evolution don’t live like this. No one lives as if there is no such thing as right or wrong. We all are disgusted by injustice. Humans can’t live out Darwin’s “survival of the fittest. For example, anyone who believes genocide is morally acceptable is either insane or a monster.
The Nazis are universally reviled because what they did was morally wrong. We, as humans, can’t escape from a moral standard. It’s not that genocide feels wrong. It’s that genocide is wrong. The question is: why? Where did this come from? I don’t believe that mere evolution can explain this.
MUSIC
Why is there music? Why does art exist? How do you explain the creativity of humans? Throughout our history, we’ve never been satisfied with survival. As often as we can, we live with flair and expression. We don’t just build, we sculpt. We don’t just write , we employ rhyme and meter.
Art and music reflect the special nature of humans. We live with soul. How do you explain all this creativity and expression? It has nothing to do with survival. If we evolved naturally, where did music come from? In my opinion, we make art because we reflect a creative designer. He is infinitely artistic and He made us a little like Himself.
So, why am I not an atheist? The biggest reasons are that a purely naturalistic understanding of the world simply can’t explain explosions, blood, genocide and music. What are the realities that keep you anchored to your faith?
Last Sunday and Wednesday night I taught on worship at LifeLine. The question is: What blows your mind? For me, it is the vastness of the universe. What if God spoke it into being? What if this incredibly powerful Being knows you and loves you. Worship is responding to this incredible God.
Let me know what you think…
I’m not sure if it was Star Wars or E.T. that started it but ever since childhood I have been fascinated with the sky. There’s just something about the moon and all those stars against the black canvas of space that blows my mind and propels me toward wonder. I just can’t get my mind around the universe. And maybe that’s the way that it’s supposed to be.
One of the random numbers that has stuck with me since elementary school is 93,000,000. I remember this number because it’s how far the sun is from the earth. I’m good with random numbers like this. For example, in 1961, Al Kaline batted .324. I know this from a baseball game I played as a kid.
HERE COMES THE SUN
Recently, my nerdery got the better of me and I decided to explore how long it would take to travel to the sun. What I discovered ruined science fiction for me. Apparently, NASA’s New Horizons space craft is the fastest moving space craft around. It’s capable of 37,282 mph. Traveling at that speed, you could cover 894,768 miles in a day and therefore reach the sun in 104 days. And yes I know that NASA would never use mph but I haven’t figured out this whole metric thing yet so just calm down.
First off, 37,282 mph is stupid fast and I would love to try it out. Although, based on my experience of riding along in my dad’s drag racers as a kid, I’d probably throw up. Also, 104 days in a tiny exploration craft that technically isn’t built for humans would be an incredibly constrictive and boring. In fact, I’m not exactly sure how a person could keep their sanity that long—especially without Wi-Fi.
GINORMOUS NUMBERS
Then I got to thinking about the immensity of the universe. Returning to my nerdery, I wondered how long it would take to travel to the next closest star. As it turns out, the next closest star to the earth is Alpha Centauri. Well, technically speaking, Alpha Centauri looks like a star from earth but is actually 3 stars. Anyway, flying aboard the speedy New Horizons, it would take a staggering 78,000 years to get to Alpha Centauri. That’s a whole lot of “Daddy, are we there yet?”
If that doesn’t blow your mind I don’t know what will. How is it possible that the universe is that big and what does that mean?
I’m sorry if this hurts your head but there are approximately (because I haven’t visited all of them) 400 billion stars in our little galaxy alone. I say “little” because some giant galaxies contain trillions of stars. And how many, the little nerd inside of me asks, galaxies are there in the universe? Of course, no one can answer that concretely because of our limited viewpoint but the answer is in the neighborhood of 170 billion. In short, the universe is absurdly ginormous and we can’t answer any question of size accurately because we simply can’t see that far. Perhaps it is endless.
WORSHIP
For me, all of this points back to God. I just can’t figure the universe without a designer. Someone must have started the explosion. Particles and gases existing all on their own doesn’t make sense to me.
When I think of the immensity of the universe and that according to the book of Genesis God created it all with merely His voice I am in awe. It blows my mind. I can’t get my mind around the fact that a creator this powerful, immense and scary actually knows my name and cares about me.
What exactly is the purpose of the universe? Is it simply God’s canvas? Is it a beacon? Perhaps it is one of the ways God is signaling us, letting us know how incredibly powerful and creative he is. Maybe he’s trying to get our attention with every sunset and shooting star?
Many people believe the universe is random. I believe it is designed to wow—to draw us back into relationship with Him.
A few weeks ago I had the privilege of officiating the wedding of one of my good friends. If you’re wondering, yes I can legally do this and no I didn’t screw it up.
As a pastor, a wedding sermon is an incredibly unique opportunity to speak to a couple who isn’t hearing a darn thing you’re saying. If you’ve ever been in a wedding you know exactly what I mean. The bridesmaids are busy trying not to cry and or topple over in their heels and the groomsman are concentrating on breathing and keeping their knees bent so that they don’t faint. And the bride and groom? They are staring at each other, as they ought to be.
Basically, I know I’m speaking to the audience because no one on the stage is paying attention to me. Perhaps this is an opportunity encourage a marriage that is struggling. That was my strategy and here’s what I shared.
GOD INVENTED MARRIAGE
Marriage was God’s idea. He invented it. We have recorded in the early pages of the book of Genesis God exclaiming that the purpose of marriage is oneness. “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.” Oneness makes sense because it reflects the perfect unity within the trinity. We were created in the image of God and God exists in intimate and perfect relationship.
So that’s the purpose of marriage. Let’s be real, you don’t see a lot of oneness in marriage these days—not on TV, not in real life, not hardly anywhere. Which raises a great question, if that’s what God’s dream for marriage is, how in the world do you actually get there? I’m glad you asked.
A NEW COMMANDMENT
The best marriage advice I’ve ever heard is actually not marriage advice. It comes from the Gospel of John. As Jesus was teaching his disciples, he gave them a new commandment:
“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”
The idea is this: Regardless of what is going on…love one another. When your husband forgets your anniversary, love one another. When your wife says something snarky and disrespectful, love one another other. To be a follower of Jesus is to love one another.
LOVE IS NOT AN EMOTION
Most of us have misinterpreted what love actually is. We believe that love is something that you feel. And yet, Jesus commanded us to love. He’s talking about something active. Like DcTalk said way back in the day, “Love is a verb.” Love is action.
THE SECRET SAUCE
Our thinking typically goes like this: “If I feel loved then I will love her.” Or, “When my needs are met, I’ll care for his needs.” What if we flip this around? What if we act in love first? I believe this is what Jesus is getting at. You see, the truth is that emotions follow actions. We think that if we don’t feel love then we must have fallen out of love. This is a fundamental misunderstanding of what love is. Love is a verb. It’s an action, not an emotion.
DON’T WAIT
I believe that almost any marriage can be rebuilt around this principle. Jesus commanded me to love so I will love. If you begin to love your spouse through your actions, the emotions associated with love will follow over time.
However, if you wait to love your spouse until after the emotions come back you’ll wait forever. Love isn’t something that you fall out of. Love is something you do. Don’t wait. Start loving your spouse now.
If you thought this concept was profound you are right! I learned this idea from Andy Stanley. Check out this sermon: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=riA0O8yoCew
image credited to Meyer Felix
Our student ministry does something that I believe is rather unique. We call it cell family and we stole the idea wholesale from a church across town about a decade ago. They stopped doing it years ago and we’ve been dumb enough to stick with it. And yet, we’ve come to love it and it’s become an indispensable part of who we are as a ministry. What exactly is cell family? I’m glad you asked.
ONE EPIC NIGHT OF AWESOMENESS
Our high school ministry meets on Sunday nights. We built our ministry around small groups and we’re one of those student ministries that attach our small groups to our programming. In other words, we pack everything into Sunday nights: hang out, games, worship, teaching and small groups. We always leave the last 30 minutes of our night to small groups. We believe this is the best model for student ministry for a variety of reasons but we can argue about that in another post.
CELL FAMILY
What makes us unique is that every other week we meet in homes. Instead of meeting all together with all of our students and volunteers, we meet in regional homes based on school. We don’t add another night of programming, we do cell family in place of our regular large group programming. Sound like a logistical nightmare? It is. But to us, it’s worth it.
THREE LEVELS OF CONNECTION
There are a few reasons we believe this model is strategic. First off, we believe that students need to know and be known. Our dream is that students would know be known by ten adult volunteers (each cell family has 10 volunteers in it). These volunteers know each student’s name and basic story.
We also want each student to experience three levels of belonging. We want them to belong to something big. There is something special about worshiping together with hundreds of people. We also want our students to belong to something small. Small groups are the place where they can be vulnerable and real. It’s the environment in which they can be cared for and led by an invested adult.
Lastly, we believe our students need to belong to something midsize. We believe that there is something valuable in 30 or 40 people in a house. It feels a bit like a family reunion. It’s a support network. It’s a place where younger students can observe the faith of older students and where volunteers can show students what healthy relationships look like. It’s a place for students to try out their gifts and talents and it’s a place where they can have a voice.
INTERACTIVE TEACHING
Cell family is also a response to how students learn. We believe that students retain information best when they are able to interact with it as it is presented. In our cell families, we teach through discussion rather than preaching. Instead of a 20 minute presentation, we produce a 7 minute teaching video that leads into a group discussion. We believe this model of communicating better fits how our students learn.
SERVE AS A FAMILY
The last and perhaps most important reason we do cell family is volunteer community. We believe that volunteers are at their best when they are serving as a family. Each cell family is composed of 6-8 small group leaders and two volunteers that oversee the cell family. These “coaches” as we all them have two roles: care for their small group leaders and oversee the cell family programming.
Each time we meet in cell family, the volunteer team meets an hour early and has dinner at the cell family home. Over time, the combination of these meals and serving together leads to fantastic volunteer community. We want our volunteers to feel supported and together and cell family is a huge reason why we’re able to achieve this.
Whenever I interact with student ministry workers from other churches the inevitable question awkwardly slips out, “So…how big is your youth group?” When I answer, some people get this wanting look in their eyes as if I am describing what it was like to eat Filet Mignon at a restaurant they’ll never be able to afford. I know exactly what this is about. I used to have mega-church envy myself. Those flashing lights, the stage sets and ginormous crowds mesmerized me. Then God smiled upon me and scored me a job at a mega-church. At least, that’s how my thinking went at the time. Now I understand that student ministry is student ministry and there are a fantastic and lame things about working in a small or large environment. Here’s a little of what I’ve learned.
Working Directly With Students
As a student pastor in a smaller church I constantly interacted directly with students. I love students. I love learning about their world and doing my best to counsel and mentor them toward Jesus. Working in a small church, this was my primary role.
As a student pastor in a mega-church my role changed dramatically. My direct interactions with students dropped sharply. I discovered that in a mega church environment students want to hang out with their small group leader instead of me. I went from being extremely sought after to “that weird guy in the announcement videos.”
Working on a Team
In a smaller church, my student ministry staff (me and…me) always loved my ideas and were quick to support and implement them. Sure we occasionally made bad decisions but we were able to implement our ideas quickly.
One of the first things I discovered about working within a student ministry team is that people don’t always love my ideas. In fact, sometimes they hate them. In a mega church with multiple staff I have to do really annoying things like defend my ideas and demonstrate why new programs or events are good ideas. I hate this sort of thing. When will everyone realize that I’m a genius and just blindly follow me?
Variety vs. Specialization
I get bored easily. I love having multiple projects spinning at once so that when I lose interest in what I am doing I can jump to another project. As a student pastor in a smaller church, I was responsible for just about everything. I was the teacher, strategist, planner, worship leader, mentor, volunteer coordinator…those of you who work in a smaller environment know exactly what I’m talking about. I loved the variety.
In a large student ministry, there are experts who work in each realm of ministry and I only get to do one or two. And by experts, I mean that they possess far more knowledge and skill than me. I have become much more proficient in my areas of responsibility because of my work experience on a team of experts but sometimes I get bored.
The Spotlight
In a smaller church you are “the” youth pastor or at least the middle school or high school pastor. In other words, you are in the spotlight. When things go well people love you. When things go wrong you’ve got some explaining to do…at the board meeting.
As part of a student ministry team in a mega-church, the spotlight doesn’t often find me. When things go wrong, the team often shares the blame. Conversely, when something goes well in our ministry the person who gets credit is typically my boss. Honestly, most people in our congregation don’t have a clue who I am.
So that’s a taste of what it’s like to work in a smaller church and a mega-church. Student ministry is student ministry. There are pros and cons to smaller and larger environments. Feel free to add to my list.
image credited to cubedude27
It’s time for a new LifeLine video! Last week we invented a new character for the “Great ‘Merican Camp Out. I have been known to be wrong but I think it’s epically funny. Check it out:
Announcements | Camp Out from LifeLine Student Ministries on Vimeo.
Get every new post delivered to your Inbox
Join other followers
