I’m not usually the guy who sits around pondering poetry and song lyrics, snapping my fingers at the profundity of people’s thoughts but the other day a song captured me. I was in my usual spot at my favorite Starbucks, with my mug of dark roast, attempting to write curriculum for our student ministry. For me, writing always requires a soundtrack. On a whim, I was listening to U2 which is odd because I haven’t intentionally listened to U2 in a long time. It’s not that I don’t like them, it’s just that I sort of lost interest after the Joshua Tree album. As I sat there, getting reacquainted with Bono, the Edge and the other guys in the band who apparently have normal names, a song struck me. In particular, a chunk of lyrics grabbed my attention. They were from the song Cedars of Lebanon.
Choose your enemies carefully, ’cause they will define you
Make them interesting ’cause in some ways they will mind you
They’re not there in the beginning but when your story ends
Gonna last with you longer than your friends
There are good and bad kinds of enemies. What we are fighting for will often define the quality and direction of our lives. Choosing the right enemies can bring meaning and purpose. Choosing the wrong enemies opens the door to bitterness, envy and pettiness.
This song returned me to a painful question. What am I fighting? A few years ago, my family and I were fighting injustice, abandonment and trafficking in Ukraine. It wasn’t a war but it was a fight to save one life. When we were in the midst of that battle, it defined our lives. It consumed our thoughts, our free time, our finances and our conversations. Looking back, those were healthy days in which we had a singular focus. We were fighting for something incredibly meaningful and we didn’t have time to waste because we had a fight on our hands.
We lost that battle, or at least part of it. It was the most painful experience of my life. For the last year, I’ve felt like a defeated boxer, having just lifted himself off the mat, stumbling around the ring, fighting through a concussive haze in an attempt to orient himself. I haven’t exactly figured things out but I know my life has lost some purpose. I think it’s because I need to redefined what I’m fighting for. I need an enemy. I need a cause that will define my life, something worth fighting that will define my story.
Lives lived well teeter on the edge of focus and desperation because they are fueled by passion and that passion is often ignited by pain. He saw something in Africa that wouldn’t leave him alone. She experienced something that no on should have to experience. He lost someone. She visited that place.
What are you fighting? What enemy or battle defines your life so profoundly that it will be with you in the end? I hope it isn’t something petty or self-centered. At my funeral, I want it to be said that I fought a good enemy, that I poured out my life for something meaningful and lasting.
If you’re interested in the details of my fight, here’s the story:
http://www.aaronbuer.com/when-injustice-gets-personal/
http://www.aaronbuer.com/when-injustice-gets-personal-part-2/
http://www.aaronbuer.com/when-injustice-gets-personal-part-3/
http://www.aaronbuer.com/when-injustice-gets-personal-part-4/
http://www.aaronbuer.com/a-spy-mission-and-a-broken-heart/
photo credited to viedrie via Free Images
