I’ve learned that memories are a powerful. Good childhood memories have a way of evolving into magical nostalgia. Maybe I’m the only one who romanticizes the past and remembers things a little differently than they actually occurred but I have a feeling you do the same thing.
As a parent, I accidentally stumbled upon using memories as a secret weapon. You see, I have a semi-famous artist sister who lives in Portland, OR with her shoe designing husband. They are both artistic and adventuresome so they are exciting to be around and you occasionally score free shoes and paintings which is nice.
The thing is, Oregon has this reputation for being beautiful and incredibly quirky—the kind of place you just have to visit. So, I decided to fly to Portland with my son and spend a week climbing mountains and visiting coffee shops with my sister and her husband. Secretly I was hoping to run into Donald Miller…but this story isn’t about me.
Anyway, I intended this trip to be an adventure for my son and I and it turned out to be a partial disappointment and a landmark success. You see, as it turns out, 5 year old boys aren’t terribly great mountain climbers. Our first day of adventuring took us to various waterfalls around the Columbia River Gorge. Keegan did well on the first hike and then fell to pieces on the next eight. I’ll have you know that carrying a 50 pound kid around hiking isn’t exactly paradise.
At this point we realized that our planned wilderness backpacking trip was never going to happen with a 5 year old. Undaunted, we scheduled a weekend camping trip at Crater Lake and had a great time. I was enraptured with the natural beauty of everything I saw in Oregon. I mean, how are you gonna have a temperate rainforest, volcanoes, and the ocean all in one state?
The truth is that Keegan didn’t much care for the scenery. He was excited about finding a snake but other than that the best part of the trip was when he uncovered that his uncle Eric had a Super Nintendo with Super Mario Sunshine. After wandering all over the state and the city, all Keegan wanted to do was stay up late and play video game that’s over a decade old. So that’s what we did.
Upon returning home, I felt like we needed to return to Oregon the next summer so that we could more seriously tap into the potential of Oregon but I soon discovered that Keegan didn’t feel that way at all. I can’t tell you how many times Keegan has asked me if I remember when we got “those little pizzas” in the Denver airport? To him, that was amazing. “Daddy, do you remember when we got that Italian pop? That was my favorite! “ “Daddy, do you remember when we saw a starfish at the spacific ocean? That was so cool.” “Daddy are you sure Sasquatch isn’t real? Because maybe you’ve just never seen him” “Daddy, do you remember Eric’s Gollum voice? How come you can’t do that? “Daddy, do you remember when we Stephanie said people can ride their bikes naked in Portland?”
The truth is that Keegan had the most epic vacation and the fact that it was just him and I traveling across the country made it a legendary experience. A few weeks after returning, my wife made Keegan a Shutterfly book of our trip. Even now, 2 years after the trip he still reads that book nearly every night as he lies in bed waiting for sleep to overtake him. The memory of that trip has taken on magical qualities.
It was a fun trip but the point is that for a little boy, an adventure with his dad was a milestone experience. His memories of that trip will forever overshadow what actually happened. The trip has given us a shared point of reference. No future conflict or disagreement, no teenage angst or middle aged father stubbornness will ever be able to take away the magic of a week in Oregon.
What I learned from a week in Oregon is that taking the time to adventure with your kids, specifically one-on-one is worth the investment. It may just be the most strategic thing you ever do.
