I recently read that one of the big reasons college aged Christians are walking away from the church is doubt. What I mean is that they never openly wrestled with their doubts. They were never given space or permission to do so. As they struggled with doubts privately the power of their doubts grew. And, I suspect, the people who finally gave them permission to confess their doubts also had a hand in dismantling their faith.
We have a problem. Our student ministry, church and family cultures do not provide permission and space for doubt. We have stigmatized doubt. We have given it a bad rep and outlawed it in our ministry contexts. Church is all smiles and praise. If you are doubting you simply need more faith. Please leave your sadness, doubt and pain at the door. It isn’t welcome in our smiley service.
The problem with this approach is that it is unrealistic. It isn’t real life. It only represents half of what we experience as humans. Let’s be real. It’s fake and plastic.
THE SAD PSALMS
The psalms were the song book of the Jewish nation. They were the songs of worship for the people of God. Here’s the thing, if you read the psalms you’re going to come across a lot of raw emotion. Most of it isn’t positive either. There’s a whole lot of, “Where the heck are you God?” There’s a bunch of “God I don’t understand and really don’t like what You’re doing.” And even a little, “I wish I was dead because my life sucks!”
Maybe our student ministry and church environments are a little too polished and smiley. They surely aren’t representative of what we find in the psalms. Could it be that we need to make space for the darker emotions? Research is showing that this generation of students is perhaps the most depressed generation in our nation’s history. What are we doing to meet these kids where they are? Maybe it’s time to reintroduce our students to the raw emotion and struggle of the psalms.
PERMISSION TO STRUGGLE
What our students and children need is the freedom to confess what they don’t understand and don’t believe with adults and spiritual mentors who care about them and will process with them. Doubts are like sins in that when they are dragged out into the light they lose their power over us. There is life and hope in the light.
DOUBT AND LAMENT
What if we taught our students from the psalms of doubt and lament? What if we empowered them to pray as David prayed—with passion and angst? What if we gave them permission to verbalize or at least write down their doubts? What if we led them in songs of lament? What if we recaptured the energy and life of the psalms in our student ministry contexts?
I believe that if we teach our students how to engage their doubts and disappointments while providing them with mentors who will walk with them through these experiences we will see a sharp decline in students walking away from the church. If we remove the shame associated with doubt and the darker emotions we’ll give our students the freedom to be real and authentic.
We must find a way to engage our students in their doubts now while they are still within the orbits of our ministries and volunteers. Maybe the psalms are the key.
Maybe it’s time to reintroduce the psalms of doubt and lament.
image credited to Can’t Think