Comments on: 3 Things Girls Must Know about Sexuality: Part 3

By: Aaron Buer

Aaron Buer — Sun, 02 Jun 2013 16:39:00 +0000

Thanks for you insights. You are correct about the mutual pursuit. I think that this is normal and healthy. In fact, I would have to admit that my wife and I mutually pursued each other while we dated.

This talk was originally given to high school girls and I see many of them pursuing the attention of guys in unhealthy ways. Much of what I said is a response to what I see our high school girls doing.

Thanks again for reading and sharing your thoughts.

By: Joseph

Joseph — Sun, 02 Jun 2013 11:32:00 +0000

This has been a great series. Well done. I do have a slightly different experience than you on something, though. My wife and I mutually pursued each other – and it was great. I never felt I had to “conquer” her. But I knew I had to prove myself to her. I had to prove that I was someone who could love her as I should. But at the same time, she was proving herself to me as well. I was never the “conquering hero” and I don’t believe God called me to that. I do believe he calls me to provide love, wisdom, security, relational safety, strength of character. . . but those things don’t always translate to the traditional “I keep chasing you until you say yes” model that you suggest.

The truth is, God created a lot of diversity in people. We’re not robots or templates. Certainly men are different from women. But within each gender there is variety as well.

Keep up the good work!

By: Aaron Buer

Aaron Buer — Fri, 31 May 2013 12:06:00 +0000

Thank you very much!

By: Youth Culture Report

Youth Culture Report — Fri, 31 May 2013 11:48:00 +0000

Aaron thanks for your insights, just to let you know we posted part 1-3 on The Youth Culture Report today and looking forward to your last followup post. http://theyouthculturereport.com/

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Thu, 30 May 2013 23:57:00 +0000

Sexism: prejudice or discrimination based on sex (http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/sexism). Your statement that “He is stating how men actually are” is inherently sexist. Men do not act in a certain way because they are male, they act that way because of the culture they were raised in. Just because the original poster and your husband have the same opinion does not make it fact. (I also want to say that I appreciate the very respectful response from the original poster, Thank you.)

By: Aaron Buer

Aaron Buer — Thu, 30 May 2013 22:49:00 +0000

Thanks for the feedback.
I hear what you are saying and respect your viewpoint. To be clear, here’s my position: I personally believe that God created men to
pursue and women to be pursued.

I also believe that women are 100% equal to men and are just as valuable in every way. I just believe that men and women are different and find the most fulfillment living out the roles we were designed for.

By: Hilary

Hilary — Thu, 30 May 2013 20:16:00 +0000

Whatever his intentions were his statement is offensive (and yes, sexist). Regardless of the way men think women and other humans are always deserving of respect. Also, calling a man a “sissy” because he doesn’t pursue a woman is a low blow. There are lots of people out there in the world, lots of cultures, many different personality types. People are different. I pursued my husband (who was a close friend of my family who I had known for years) and we have been happily married for close to a decade now. And my husband considers me to be very worthy of respect, and I respect him as well and do not consider him to be a “sissy.” Maybe this was not the authors intentions and if that is the case he should apologize and think about rewording what he is trying to say. His statements are offensive and will distract from his true “message”…I am sure there is a way for him to get his ideas across without name calling. When people use this type of language it is not constructive and really is just a bunch of smoke, however after looking over a couple of his other articles it seems that he is taking a sensationalist approach in order to draw attention. This tactic may work at drawing attention but it is unlikely that he will convince many people of his views, offending someone and/or making them angry isn’t a good way to convince them. It is a good way to get a lot of hits on your website though.

By: Janice

Janice — Thu, 30 May 2013 17:54:00 +0000

You are not getting what he is saying. He is NOT being old-fashioned or sexist. He is simply stating how men are, how they think. Period. Time does not change that. Also, this isn’t just what one man thinks other men think. What he says about men is the same thing my husband tells me about men. His statements aren’t about what should or should not be. He is stating how men actually ARE. That’s all.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Thu, 30 May 2013 15:39:00 +0000

I am not trying to be disrespectful in any way here and I agree with many of your opinions about girls needing to respect themselves first before being in a relationship. But as a feminist I disagree with your statement about “the kind of guy who will love you forever doesn’t want to be chased by a girl because girls like that are not worthy of respect”. This viewpoint is exceptionally old-fashioned and sexist. If a man wants to be with a woman he can ask her on a date and show affection towards her, but if a woman does the same it is not okay? Why must these gender divides exist? As a woman I should be able to pursue someone in the same way that men may pursue me without being considered “not worthy of respect”.