October, 2013 | Aaron Buer

My Don Miller Mystery Note

The year was 2003. I was perusing the shelves of a local bookstore the day before a cottage weekend with some buddies. The plan was to eat good, relax, play obnoxiously nerdy board games and do some studying. I needed a good book–something compelling with a story that gripped but wasn’t pointless.

The book I chose did not disappoint. I picked it off the shelf, not knowing the author in the slightest, and it instantly became one of my favorite books. I read it from cover to cover before we even left for the retreat. I simply couldn’t put it down. Then I read it again.

Blue Like Jazz was unlike anything I had ever read before. It was like Salinger meets theology conversations in the lounge of my college dorm. It was compelling, hilarious and real. Not much of what I was reading by Christian authors at the time was real. I loved it and it launched me on a journey of deeper thinking and healthy spiritual exploration.

Since that time I’ve read every Don Miller book there is. Searching for God Knows What is the best, if you want to know the truth. I’m so obsessed that I even read Prayer and the Art of Volkswagen Maintenance and Through Painted Deserts even though they are the same book. I couldn’t help it. I love the authenticity of Don’s style and the fresh way he approaches the Christian faith. His books have helped me rethink, jettison or shore up many of the ideas I grew up with. Quite simply, he’s my favorite author–which brings me to the point of this post.

You see, I like to use Don’s Storyline book as part of our college transition curriculum. It’s a great tool for exploring who you are and what exactly God might be calling you to. I love the idea of drawing students into the mission of Jesus as they explore their future.

Anyway, I ordered about 30 of the Storyline books and not only did they ship exceptionally quickly but they also came with a handwritten note.

Now, I’m sure you can understand my excitement in receiving a handwritten note from Don Miller, whose books have so deeply shaped my thinking. And, this isn’t one of those photocopied prints of a handwritten note that important people sometimes give out. This is the real deal. Or is it…

As I looked closely at the note, I couldn’t help but notice that it appears a certain “Dan” wrote it and not Don. Who is Dan? No offense but I don’t know you, Dan. Or wait, is the note from Don and he sort of ran the “o” into the “n?” Now I’m really confused.

Don, if this is from you could you please work on your handwriting? And Dan, if this is from you, do you think you should be going around signing notes with simply “Dan” when you work with “Don?” I’m just saying. I mean, I feel bad for not being happy with a handwritten note from you “Dan,” but the truth is, you aren’t a famous author an I haven’t read each of your books 3 times. Perhaps you could switch things up and go with “Danny” or “Dan-o” so that people don’t get confused.

But, on the off-chance that this is from “Don,” thanks for writing a handwritten note. That’s classy. And yes, I would like some help with my story. Could we do coffee? Or maybe we could ride bikes across the country? A trip in a Volkswagen van to the grand canyon? I still have a blockbuster card. I can come to you. My sister lives in Portland. Call me.

Read This Book!

I just polished this book off last week. Of all the books I’ve read this year, this one might be the best.

As it turns out, not everyone agrees. There is a rather ugly debate raging on some of the specifics of Gladwell’s arguments and also the genre of his writing style itself.

this guy thinks Malcolm Gladwell is an idiot

Malcolm Gladwell defends himself.

Wherever you land on the debate, Malcolm Gladwell’s hair clearly wins..

I will admit that I don’t like Gladwell’s telling of the David and Goliath story itself. I think he misses the point of the biblical story and uses some questionable interpretative techniques to arrive at his conclusions. However, the rest of the book is fantastic. Why? Because it is utterly compelling and moving. All I can say is that I listened to it while mowing my lawn and I was not crying. It was the dust. It’s terribly dusty this time of year.

The truth is that Gladwell is a marvelous storyteller. At several points I found myself mowing halfway into my neighbor’s yard because I was so captivated by Gladwell’s stories. In the audio book, Gladwell reads the story himself which magnifies the experience. Had the book not finished, I may have mowed every yard on my street just to keep listening.

The thing I love about this book is it’s central message. Gladwell doesn’t use this language but it’s essentially about redemption. Any bad experience or handicap can be redeemed. Gladwell writes about parental loss, dyslexia, persecution, and systemic racism. In each of these situations, through adaptation, perseverance and forgiveness, people or cultures become stronger, not in spite of their pain and struggle but because of them. The cure for lukemia, the will to oppose the Nazi’s, the fortitude to battle for civil rights and the strength to forgive were all birthed out of tremendous pain and loss.

This is a story that we need. Life is relentlessly painful, full of loss and disappointment. We either rebuild out of the ashes as stronger and better people or we fold.

Redemption is also the central message of the Gospel, which is perhaps why I loved David and Goliath so much. Jesus can redeem and restore any life no matter how dysfunctional and broken.

It seems that the process of writing about persecuted faith communities, forgiveness and redemption deeply affected Gladwell and his own faith journey. According to him, the journey brought about a return to faith in his own life.

Gladwell rediscovers faith

My recommendation would be to go out and by this book. If you are a church person, like myself, you will likely get annoyed in the early pages because of Gladwell’s spin on the David and Goliath story. Keep reading. I think you will love it and at the very least you will be inspired.

Getting Students into the Bible

For years we’ve been bothered by the reality that our students are largely Bible ignorant. Most of them don’t read the Bible regularly or even have a strong grasp of how to navigate it’s pages. Part of this is is due to the fact that students don’t read much of anything in our culture and part of this is probably due to the fact that we as parents and youth workers are dropping the ball.

Our student ministry team is making an effort to think creatively on how we can get students into the Bible. Our first idea is embedded in our Wakes teaching series.

Wakes Bumper from LifeLine Student Ministries on Vimeo.

This is a four week teaching series on influence from the book of Acts. As part of the experience we invited our volunteers and students to read through the book of Acts together. We sent this bookmark home with each student and built this website: lifelinestudents.org/wakes. We built the website because students usually only read physical books if there is a grade dependent on it but they will often read voluntarily on their phones.

The beautiful thing about this project is that it cost us basically nothing–only printing and shipping for the bookmarks. Through a couple announcement videos and encouraging students to post to instagram and twitter with #lifelinewakes we’ve created a little buzz. So far so good. We’d love to hear your ideas on how you are getting students into the Bible.

Wakes – Acts Reading Plan from LifeLine Student Ministries on Vimeo.

Wakes

Last night we kicked off our new teaching series called Wakes. It’s all about influence. I’m pretty pumped about it. Here’s our first teaching video of the series. This is my first attempt in my new role. Let me know what you think.

Wakes – Mission from LifeLine Student Ministries on Vimeo.

Stuff I’ve Been Reading

There are a lot of great blogs out there. Here are a few of my favorite posts from the past few weeks:

1. I love this post about secretly being an introvert. This was a recent and incredibly freeing discovery for me. Here’s an old post that describes my discovery.

2. I’m a fan of social media and I usually don’t oppose it for students. However, there are two apps that I would like to punch in the face: snapchat and ask.fm. This post by Walt Mueller explains my issues with ask.fm

3. If you are a parent that is thoroughly confused by the apps your children are downloading, this site is for you: http://www.commonsensemedia.org

4. Maybe it’s a good thing if you don’t go to college: http://themattwalshblog.com/2013/08/23/kids-go-to-college-or-youll-die-alone-in-misery/

5. Here is a sobering post on the pervasiveness of pornography: http://www.covenanteyes.com/2013/09/10/10-surprising-pornography-stats

6. I’m very excited about this blog series on teaching students: http://uthmin.net/np-communicating-to-students-1

Enjoy…

An Open Letter to Fathers

A few weeks into this whole blogging thing I wrote a post based on a teaching I gave to our students during our spring sexuality series. The post blew up. Women were posting it all over Facebook, Twitter and even Pintrest. I was shocked and sort of embarrassed about being on Pintrest. I still feel like I lost a few man points there.

The post was all about identity and value. The central idea was, “You are immensely valuable and beautiful because God made you and loves you. Your sexuality is a precious gift. Protect it.” You can read it here if you like.

I received so much positive feedback from this post and I still can’t believe how many people have read and shared it. The question is…why?

THE TRUTH

Here’s the thing: I’m no expert on girls or sexuality. I’m married and have two cute little daughters but I would consider myself to be a novice at understanding girls. I haven’t remotely figured out my wife either. Every time things get emotional at my house you can find me in a corner with a pillow over my head. And don’t even get me started on the ridiculous idea that someday my daughters will want to date.

All this is to say, I really don’t think my blog post went “Pintrest” because I’m an eloquent writer or because I have some newfangled understanding of girls and sexuality. It must be something else.

I think the answer lies in a question: Why do so few girls feel good about themselves? Why are so many girls susceptible to guys who are interested in nothing more than a few hours with their body?

I know that we live in a messed up culture that uses sex to sell everything from cologne to cereal and that girls are conditioned through advertising to find value solely in the way they look but honestly, I’m not sure that culture is the biggest problem.

I CAN’T HEAR YOU

I think the problem has less to do what girls are hearing through culture and more to do with what girls aren’t hearing at home. Why is it that the only guys who are communicating value to girls are men who want to take advantage of them? Where are the fathers, brothers, uncles and grandfathers who are supposed to be communicating value to our girls? This, I believe is the core of the problem.

The feedback I’ve received over and over from girls is: “I wish someone would have told me these things before…” Speaking as a father, we need to start speaking up! Our daughters, nieces, and granddaughters need to be told over and over again that they are beautiful and valuable, that God created them just the way they are on purpose, and that only a guy who will love them on a heart level is worth their time. The first, “you are beautiful” should not come from some punk looking to take advantage of her.

SPEAK UP

I think we are guilty of making assumptions. We believe that somehow our girls just know. We assume that how we feel about them is obvious. It isn’t. In the absence of positive words they assume the worst. Tell her that she is beautiful. Tell her that she is special. Tell her that only guys of the highest quality are worth her time. Tell her that her sexuality is a precious gift. Tell her that you’re proud of her and that God loves her.

God put you in her life to guide her. Speak up. I think you’ll be amazed by how much impact your words will have.

image credited to jjpacres

Why I’m Not an Atheist

Doubts are a funny thing. Every person experiences them but very few are willing to wrestle with doubts openly. Many people tend to think that admitting doubts is akin to weakness.

I tend to disagree. I think that the willingness to wrestle with doubts in community is a sign of strength and wisdom.

Every person, whether religious, agnostic or atheist lives in the tension between faith and doubt. Life is full of mystery and hypothesis.

As a follower of Jesus, there are a few realities that keep me coming back. There are phenomenon that overshadow my doubts. I’m confident that I’ll never walk away from Jesus because of explosions, blood, genocide and music.

EXPLOSIONS

Nearly everyone agrees that the universe began with an astronomically powerful explosion. I’m no astrophysicist but this makes a lot of sense to me. A massive explosion like this would have produced an immense amount of light. Light, in fact, that is still traveling outward. The book of Genesis describes it this way:

And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light. (Genesis 1)

Here’s the thing, I just don’t understand explosions coming out of nowhere. I don’t buy the theory that particles, substances and gases simply existed. In the way I understand the universe, something or someone must have caused the explosion.

BLOOD

In my opinion, there are certain processes and mechanisms within the human body that demand intelligent design. One example is blood clotting. I’ve noticed that a leak in my skin is different from a leak in the oil pan of my car. If I cut my toe, my blood doesn’t all drain out. That would be a lame way to die.

What happens is that my body magically closes up the wound and I only lose a small portion of my blood. And yet, my blood clots only a tiny bit because if it clotted too much I would also die from a stroke or aneurism. So, too much clotting or not enough clotting on a minor wound would lead to death. How does something like this naturally evolve without someone designing or guiding the process? At every step in the evolutionary process of blood clotting humans would have died out.

GENOCIDE

If there is no God then there is no objective standard of morality. If there is no objective standard of morality then no one can tell anyone else what is right or wrong. The problem with this is that even those who only believe in naturalistic evolution don’t live like this. No one lives as if there is no such thing as right or wrong. We all are disgusted by injustice. Humans can’t live out Darwin’s “survival of the fittest. For example, anyone who believes genocide is morally acceptable is either insane or a monster.

The Nazis are universally reviled because what they did was morally wrong. We, as humans, can’t escape from a moral standard. It’s not that genocide feels wrong. It’s that genocide is wrong. The question is: why? Where did this come from? I don’t believe that mere evolution can explain this.

MUSIC

Why is there music? Why does art exist? How do you explain the creativity of humans? Throughout our history, we’ve never been satisfied with survival. As often as we can, we live with flair and expression. We don’t just build, we sculpt. We don’t just write , we employ rhyme and meter.

Art and music reflect the special nature of humans. We live with soul. How do you explain all this creativity and expression? It has nothing to do with survival. If we evolved naturally, where did music come from? In my opinion, we make art because we reflect a creative designer. He is infinitely artistic and He made us a little like Himself.

So, why am I not an atheist? The biggest reasons are that a purely naturalistic understanding of the world simply can’t explain explosions, blood, genocide and music. What are the realities that keep you anchored to your faith?

What is Worship?

Last Sunday and Wednesday night I taught on worship at LifeLine. The question is: What blows your mind? For me, it is the vastness of the universe. What if God spoke it into being? What if this incredibly powerful Being knows you and loves you. Worship is responding to this incredible God.

Let me know what you think…

Traveling to Alpha Centauri

I’m not sure if it was Star Wars or E.T. that started it but ever since childhood I have been fascinated with the sky. There’s just something about the moon and all those stars against the black canvas of space that blows my mind and propels me toward wonder. I just can’t get my mind around the universe. And maybe that’s the way that it’s supposed to be.

One of the random numbers that has stuck with me since elementary school is 93,000,000. I remember this number because it’s how far the sun is from the earth. I’m good with random numbers like this. For example, in 1961, Al Kaline batted .324. I know this from a baseball game I played as a kid.

HERE COMES THE SUN

Recently, my nerdery got the better of me and I decided to explore how long it would take to travel to the sun. What I discovered ruined science fiction for me. Apparently, NASA’s New Horizons space craft is the fastest moving space craft around. It’s capable of 37,282 mph. Traveling at that speed, you could cover 894,768 miles in a day and therefore reach the sun in 104 days. And yes I know that NASA would never use mph but I haven’t figured out this whole metric thing yet so just calm down.

First off, 37,282 mph is stupid fast and I would love to try it out. Although, based on my experience of riding along in my dad’s drag racers as a kid, I’d probably throw up. Also, 104 days in a tiny exploration craft that technically isn’t built for humans would be an incredibly constrictive and boring. In fact, I’m not exactly sure how a person could keep their sanity that long—especially without Wi-Fi.

GINORMOUS NUMBERS

Then I got to thinking about the immensity of the universe. Returning to my nerdery, I wondered how long it would take to travel to the next closest star. As it turns out, the next closest star to the earth is Alpha Centauri. Well, technically speaking, Alpha Centauri looks like a star from earth but is actually 3 stars. Anyway, flying aboard the speedy New Horizons, it would take a staggering 78,000 years to get to Alpha Centauri. That’s a whole lot of “Daddy, are we there yet?”

If that doesn’t blow your mind I don’t know what will. How is it possible that the universe is that big and what does that mean?

I’m sorry if this hurts your head but there are approximately (because I haven’t visited all of them) 400 billion stars in our little galaxy alone. I say “little” because some giant galaxies contain trillions of stars. And how many, the little nerd inside of me asks, galaxies are there in the universe? Of course, no one can answer that concretely because of our limited viewpoint but the answer is in the neighborhood of 170 billion. In short, the universe is absurdly ginormous and we can’t answer any question of size accurately because we simply can’t see that far. Perhaps it is endless.

WORSHIP

For me, all of this points back to God. I just can’t figure the universe without a designer. Someone must have started the explosion. Particles and gases existing all on their own doesn’t make sense to me.

When I think of the immensity of the universe and that according to the book of Genesis God created it all with merely His voice I am in awe. It blows my mind. I can’t get my mind around the fact that a creator this powerful, immense and scary actually knows my name and cares about me.

What exactly is the purpose of the universe? Is it simply God’s canvas? Is it a beacon? Perhaps it is one of the ways God is signaling us, letting us know how incredibly powerful and creative he is. Maybe he’s trying to get our attention with every sunset and shooting star?

Many people believe the universe is random. I believe it is designed to wow—to draw us back into relationship with Him.

Falling out of Love

A few weeks ago I had the privilege of officiating the wedding of one of my good friends. If you’re wondering, yes I can legally do this and no I didn’t screw it up.

As a pastor, a wedding sermon is an incredibly unique opportunity to speak to a couple who isn’t hearing a darn thing you’re saying. If you’ve ever been in a wedding you know exactly what I mean. The bridesmaids are busy trying not to cry and or topple over in their heels and the groomsman are concentrating on breathing and keeping their knees bent so that they don’t faint. And the bride and groom? They are staring at each other, as they ought to be.

Basically, I know I’m speaking to the audience because no one on the stage is paying attention to me. Perhaps this is an opportunity encourage a marriage that is struggling. That was my strategy and here’s what I shared.

GOD INVENTED MARRIAGE

Marriage was God’s idea. He invented it. We have recorded in the early pages of the book of Genesis God exclaiming that the purpose of marriage is oneness. “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.” Oneness makes sense because it reflects the perfect unity within the trinity. We were created in the image of God and God exists in intimate and perfect relationship.

So that’s the purpose of marriage. Let’s be real, you don’t see a lot of oneness in marriage these days—not on TV, not in real life, not hardly anywhere. Which raises a great question, if that’s what God’s dream for marriage is, how in the world do you actually get there? I’m glad you asked.

A NEW COMMANDMENT

The best marriage advice I’ve ever heard is actually not marriage advice. It comes from the Gospel of John. As Jesus was teaching his disciples, he gave them a new commandment:

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

The idea is this: Regardless of what is going on…love one another. When your husband forgets your anniversary, love one another. When your wife says something snarky and disrespectful, love one another other. To be a follower of Jesus is to love one another.

LOVE IS NOT AN EMOTION

Most of us have misinterpreted what love actually is. We believe that love is something that you feel. And yet, Jesus commanded us to love. He’s talking about something active. Like DcTalk said way back in the day, “Love is a verb.” Love is action.

THE SECRET SAUCE

Our thinking typically goes like this: “If I feel loved then I will love her.” Or, “When my needs are met, I’ll care for his needs.” What if we flip this around? What if we act in love first? I believe this is what Jesus is getting at. You see, the truth is that emotions follow actions. We think that if we don’t feel love then we must have fallen out of love. This is a fundamental misunderstanding of what love is. Love is a verb. It’s an action, not an emotion.

DON’T WAIT

I believe that almost any marriage can be rebuilt around this principle. Jesus commanded me to love so I will love. If you begin to love your spouse through your actions, the emotions associated with love will follow over time.

However, if you wait to love your spouse until after the emotions come back you’ll wait forever. Love isn’t something that you fall out of. Love is something you do. Don’t wait. Start loving your spouse now.

If you thought this concept was profound you are right! I learned this idea from Andy Stanley. Check out this sermon: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=riA0O8yoCew

image credited to Meyer Felix

Month: October 2013