One of my favorite student ministry events over the last few years is our graduate reunion event. I love gathering our previous year’s graduates together with their small group leaders over Christmas break and listening to their stories. Hearing their struggles and triumphs reorients my ministry focus.
So, what did I learn from spending a couple hours with former youth group kids who just polished off their first semester of college? I’m glad you asked.
ADJUSTMENT
Nearly every graduate who shared talked about how hard it was to adjust to life beyond high school. Most of them experienced loneliness during the first semester and talked about how difficult it was to find a group of friends and solid Christian community. They talked about how hard it was to be so far removed from the people in their lives with whom they could be vulnerable and honest. They felt like they had lost their cheerleaders and supporters.
Some of our graduates also felt a sense of letdown as they adjusted to college. For years they had been told that college would be the best time of life and how they were going to have the time of their lives. And yet, during the first few months of their first semester, most students felt profoundly alone and disoriented. Most were not yet experiencing the good life they were promised.
BALANCE
The second thing our graduates talked about was balance. Students struggled to juggle their new found freedom, social life and school work. Most of the students said they planned to focus on school more next semester because they weren’t happy with their grades.
Several of our students talked about how they had to learn to say “no.” One girl joined 18 different clubs before she learned the “n” word.
Balance may seem like a peripheral issue but I think it is actually the main issue for most of our students. Because they struggled to manage all their roles, important areas of their lives suffered. For many it was their spiritual lives. It wasn’t that they didn’t care about God or that they wanted to make bad choices. Rather, it was that they didn’t know how to structure their time in a way that created space for the things they really cared about.
LESSONS LEARNED
We place a major focus on transition in our student ministry. Our goal is that every graduate of our student ministry would continue to pursue Jesus after high school and our programming structure reflects this value. What I’m realizing is that it isn’t enough to prepare our students to defend their faith, find a solid faith community, and warn them of the dangers in life. If they can’t manage their roles and responsibilities, some of the things they deeply care about will inadvertently be put on a shelf.
We as parents and youth workers need to prepare our students to manage clubs, intramural sports, laundry, homework, dating, money, sleep, video games, and family. Maybe these things don’t seem very “spiritual” but teaching our students to manage their time and resources may be one of the greatest gifts we can give.
image credited to Mark van Laere
